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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for positive stories re: babies and sleep??

61 replies

ethelfleda · 27/12/2017 03:13

My ebf 8 week old just doesn't seem to want to sleep. I know he is still so young and needs feeding regularly but so far tonight it's been every hour. I haven't slept and I feel like crap. I know this goes with the territory but I am finding it hard to stay positive and to believe that it will get better and he will eventually sleep longer stretches! He has only ever gone 5 hours without a feed once... is this normal??
Can anyone please make me feel better with positive stories of babies that all of a sudden slept for 8 hours by 12 weeks or something??

OP posts:
cathf · 29/12/2017 11:27

To the parents of two year olds who are still getting up every hour to feed them an have tried 'everything' - can I ask what you have tried?
Because every time I see posts like this, everything seems to include nothing that will actually work!
Answers suggesting being firm, ignoring the cries or refusing to give milk are usually met with outrage that the child will be upset.
There is no way I would be getting up with a two year old to feed every hour, no way at all.

Daffodils07 · 29/12/2017 11:28

Amatree I have tried to cut down, and have tried for a few weeks to stop night feeding but she is the most determined little person I have ever encountered (and I have 6 children!).
She literally will not give up, will cry for hours (and im really not joking when I say this).
I had awful pnd when she was first born and I do think this has a bearing on this.
She is still in my room as I have no where to move her to atm, but we have recently got a bigger house and are moving in the next month so she will have her own room which I am hoping will help.

Cornettoninja thank you, it is hard when I am so sleep deprived.
Some people who either got their child to sleep with little problems or have never gone through having a child who does not sleep really has no right to judge others.

Daffodils07 · 29/12/2017 11:37

Cathf I have tried controlled crying,I have tried just cuddling her,I have tried just gentle talking,I have tried her dad only having her for 3 bloody nights! While I slept downstairs.
I have tried giving her water,I have tried ignoring I have tried bloody everything apart from her own room which until now was not an option!
Like I said the sleep nurse has even tried!
After 3 bloody weeks of screaming all night it was even worse then her waking up for feeding.
Its not fair on my husband who has to be up at 5! Or my other children.

MrTrebus · 29/12/2017 11:45

Have only read the OP. Mine slept through from about 3 weeks, she's now 8 months and still sleeps through. Start a good routine, bath,bottle bed,use moses basket for naps (if that's what she sleeps in at night) make it noisy and light in the day,tv on,hoovering etc etc curtains open, make it dark and quiet at night so they learn the difference. This worked for me but every baby is so different good luck OP.

MrTrebus · 29/12/2017 11:45

Oh and Ewan the dream sheep at night

Cornettoninja · 29/12/2017 12:04

cathf we've done white noise, back patting, gradual retreat, rocking, dummy, controlled crying, dad Cuddles only, water, pressure points, that stupid dream moisturiser from lush, various light shows/mobiles, blankets, sleeping bags, trying to get her to have a comfort item, mixtures and combinations of all of the above. All have been attempted for a minimum of two weeks and tried at different stages in case one would click later on. Nope. Dd can howl for a good two hours, exhaust herself and power nap for maybe 15 minutes before starting over again. The stage where she cries herself to the point of vomitting is when we usually called it a night.... I wanted to stop breastfeeding at six months which was the point she started refusing the formula we'd been mixed feeding with up until thenHmm

Looking at that written down I feel a mixture of failure and guilt. Not one of them resulted in her sleeping and all I've done is distress her. Which is why we've worked with it instead of against it for the last six months. Now she's older we play a lot of sleeping role play with her dolls and I've noticed that she doesn't 'get' closing her eyes. She lets her lids get heavy and close but doesn't ever shut her eyes voluntarily. She'll lay down but not close those peepers!

daffodil no comfort to you but it makes me feel better that you've got previous children! I get sooo much judging and dd is my only so according to some it's clearly my fault!

OP looking back my dd was teething for ages before her first tooth popped through, she slept amazingly from about 6 weeks to 3/4 months and I now know she takes an age to cut a tooth.

Obviously I'm not the one for sleep advice but I will say that all of these things that pop up and seem insurmountable you find a way to make it work - honestly - and it gets better.

Cornettoninja · 29/12/2017 12:11

Oh and a vibrating pillow wedged into dd's mattress working on the theory she falls asleep in the car..... she was outraged! Grin

Daffodils07 · 29/12/2017 12:13

All mine were and are good sleepers (apart from my autistic son)
So please do not let people make you feel like you have failed Cornettoninja.
All children are different and sometimes children just do not sleep no matter what you do.

Daffodils07 · 29/12/2017 12:14

Well good sleepers I mean apart from the youngest.

Chipsahoy82 · 29/12/2017 12:16

Genuinely, at 8 weeks old my DD actually DID start sleeping through the night! It happened very suddenly and was such a bloody relief. She was up every 1-2 hours before that. She has slept every night ever since, sometimes up to 12 hours at a time. It’s heaven!

ethelfleda · 03/01/2018 02:23

Just reading the last few replies and wanted to say thank you again. DS has been sleeping until 2am after his 9pm (ish) fees for the past few nights so I think we are making progress and I feel a little more human!

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