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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nose AIBU

85 replies

WellAlwaysHaveParis · 26/12/2017 23:34

Please be gentle!! This is a fairly sensitive topic for me Blush

Since I was a teenager, I've been really self-conscious about my nose.

It's become more of a problem now (i.e. I've felt even more self-conscious about it) with photos being put on social media where anyone can see them.

I also had a pretty nasty comment from someone once (who has form for being a bit thoughtless), who asked me why my nose looked like a witch's nose Blush

Basically, my nose is thin at the top and then widens out and looks a bit bulbous at the tip. As it's thin at the top and then widens out, it has a wonky, bumpy profile that I hate Blush I hate seeing myself in photos, especially if my nose is in profile Blush.

Anyway, for a couple of years now, I've seriously considered the possibility of having plastic surgery to straighten it and sort it out.

Someone who I know very well has had surgery on their nose from a particularly well-known practice in London, and they seem very happy.

The problem is that the surgery would cost £10,000. I am very lucky to have recently been given £10,000 in savings from a relative. I really don't feel that I could justify this on a nose operation, even though I feel that it would make me more comfortable and less self-conscious. It's an absolutely huge amount of money. I personally feel that, rationally, it would be a much better idea to put that money towards saving to buy a house, for example. (I also understand that nose surgery can be very painful and it can take a week to recover from the operation, so a week of annual leave would need to be taken from my job after the operation. While this is a concern, the cost of the operation is a far bigger worry for me).

I had an initial consultation arranged with the surgeon for this month, after booking it several months ago (I think I booked it in spring this year). The initial consultation cost £300 Blush

I cancelled the consultation earlier this month, and was refunded the full £300. But the possibility of having surgery at some point is still playing on my mind.

What should I do? Sad

Thanks for your advice.

I've attached a (terrible) pic Blush

Nose AIBU
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
OnTheRise · 27/12/2017 09:46

I think your nose is gorgeous, OP. It's a classic profile you've got there. You're beautiful. (At least, the bits of you I can see!) And you've got lovely skin, too. So clear, and with such a good tone.

Have the surgery if it really means a lot to you. But first perhaps try some CBT because I had a friend years ago who had cosmetic surgery but found it didn't help: the problem was in how she thought about herself, not in the way her eyes looked (she had an eye lift). The surgery didn't change anything for her.

I do hope you find a positive solution.

JollyGiraffe · 27/12/2017 10:02

Why is everyone saying, 'there's nothing wrong with your nose, it looks lovely/normal/perfectly fine', and then still encouraging the OP to have surgery? She has said she struggles with her self esteem, and it doesn't seem as though that is solely because of her nose. So 'fixing' a perfectly good nose WON'T help her feel better, and could cause problems and a lot of regret.

It doesn't sound as though you're really that keen for surgery OP. And you've identified that you have problems with your self esteem.

If you had a nose job, you'd most likely find something else to focus on. Your nose is your current vehicle for low self esteem.

As you've said yourself, working on being kind to yourself, working on loving yourself for how you are, and working on your self esteem, really is a much better investment. Flowers

JollyGiraffe · 27/12/2017 10:07

www.nhs.uk/Livewell/mentalhealth/Pages/Dealingwithlowself-esteem.aspx

Here's a link to the NHS page for low self esteem. As previous posters have mentioned, CBT sounds like a good way to go. You can either ask for a referral from your GP, or they will say you can self refer, or you can find a therapist privately (which will be more flexible, was waiting lists, but you would have to pay. Not £10,000 though Grin).

If you're willing to put that much money on 'fixing' your own lovely nose, I really believe investing in your self esteem and confidence is a much better investment.

FindoGask · 27/12/2017 10:09

I genuinely think you've got a lovely nose.

If it were me, and I could avoid paying £10,000 to change something about my appearance, I would look into other things I could do - like counselling or CBT as others have suggested. Best of luck.

strangerhoes · 27/12/2017 10:11

Just get it done you’ll feel better.

ticketstub · 27/12/2017 10:14

I had a nose job about 15 years ago as I had had low self-esteem about my looks . I had it done in Manchester and it cost £3,500. I'm so glad I had it done. My self esteem and confience increased. It also spurred me on to take control and make other positive changes in my life which have also made me much happier. Good luck.

Kitsharrington · 27/12/2017 10:28

They can do an awful lot with filler these days as opposed to a full nose job. A lot cheaper too. Might be worth looking in to?

OnTheRise · 27/12/2017 13:48

Just to clarify--I suggested having CBT not because I think there's anything wrong with you or your nose, but because it can help you clarify how you think things would change if you had a different nose, and if it's therefore worth having the surgery. It's well worth doing, no matter what you decide to do.

BlurryFace · 27/12/2017 15:14

I think your nose is fine, I mean it's a nose, isn't it?Wink

I got teased about my nose at school a lot and it is sort of the reverse of your's I suppose, it turns up into a point like a cartoon elf or pixie and looks sharp in profile. And I don't think it really suits the rest of my facial features all that well. But it is my nose.

I also got teased about being ginger, my "witches chin" and the bump on my back from spina bifida occulta (that one still gets an "OMG did you know you have a huuuge lump on your back" if I don't make sure it isn't exposed when I bend over).

I would be wary of surgery, all surgery has a risk of infection, or it might not look quite as you want it when it's healed up. And what if it looks fine but your self esteem is still low? I would try to get help with your self esteem first, surgery as a last resort. You've got this far with your nose, right?

InspMorse · 27/12/2017 15:23

You have a nice nose OP.
Both from the side & front.
It's a good shape & really doesn't warrant £KKK spent in it.

bobstersmum · 27/12/2017 15:28

Your nose is absolutely fine!
BUT if it will make you feel happy then absolutely go for it!

InspMorse · 27/12/2017 15:30

Also, the 'plastic surgery nose' look isn't good Shock

Nose AIBU
Original poster
WellAlwaysHaveParis · 27/12/2017 15:38

Would there be a way of sorting out the bump on my nose? I really really hate the way it looks in profile Blush

I just want to sort it a little bit, but still keep my original nose, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
CremeFresh · 27/12/2017 15:40

I had my nose done a few years ago , it cost £3200. I had it done privately by an NHS max fax specialist, not someone that just does plastic surgery iyswim, he specialises in facial reconstruction. I was so glad I had it done, nothing drastic and certainly doesn't look like a typical nose job !

CremeFresh · 27/12/2017 15:41

I just want to sort it a little bit, but still keep my original nose, if that makes sense

That's exactly how I described what I wanted and it's exactly what I got .

OnTheRise · 27/12/2017 15:43

Of course you can have just a small correction, OP. You're paying, you should get exactly what you want.

CremeFresh · 27/12/2017 15:43

This is my 'new nose'

Nose AIBU
writingsonthewall · 27/12/2017 15:43

I had mine done some years back and it was around £3k. I’d be amazed if they’ve really gone up by that much since. Can recommend a surgeon in south west London if you pm me

Coconutspongexo · 27/12/2017 15:45

Please do not get rhinoplasty filler especially with the consult clinic.

I have reasons why but can’t really go into it on here atm.

OP there’s nothing at wrong with your nose. I completely understand where you’re coming from though - I’ve wanted mine done since I was 8 but mine is 100000 x worse than yours.

Coconutspongexo · 27/12/2017 15:46

Creme I really like your nose! £3200 is a bargain too

surferjet · 27/12/2017 15:47

OP. Your nose does have a bump yes.
If I had the money and it really bothered me then I would get it done.
But as pp have said, a really good nose job is one where it’s not blindingly obvious you’ve had something done. Subtle changes make all the difference.

CremeFresh · 27/12/2017 15:49

Thankyou , I asked if the surgeon could taper the end a bit as it seemed quite bulbous to me. He refused because he said the outcome is never satisfactory when you mess with the cartilage. Just having the bump removed made the tip seem OK .

CremeFresh · 27/12/2017 15:51

I can pm the surgeons details if anyone is interested.

Emlou07 · 27/12/2017 15:57

I had rhinoplasty done in 2015. Cost me about 6k in total. Best thing I have ever done!!!

Any anxiety I had over my nose, and self consciousness literally disappeared as soon I woke up from the anaesthetic.

My nose is perfect and I fucking love it. Had it done when I was 21, only wish I had done it sooner!

Emlou07 · 27/12/2017 15:59

I don't have a before picture on my phone. But this was just one month post op.

Nose AIBU