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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nose AIBU

85 replies

WellAlwaysHaveParis · 26/12/2017 23:34

Please be gentle!! This is a fairly sensitive topic for me Blush

Since I was a teenager, I've been really self-conscious about my nose.

It's become more of a problem now (i.e. I've felt even more self-conscious about it) with photos being put on social media where anyone can see them.

I also had a pretty nasty comment from someone once (who has form for being a bit thoughtless), who asked me why my nose looked like a witch's nose Blush

Basically, my nose is thin at the top and then widens out and looks a bit bulbous at the tip. As it's thin at the top and then widens out, it has a wonky, bumpy profile that I hate Blush I hate seeing myself in photos, especially if my nose is in profile Blush.

Anyway, for a couple of years now, I've seriously considered the possibility of having plastic surgery to straighten it and sort it out.

Someone who I know very well has had surgery on their nose from a particularly well-known practice in London, and they seem very happy.

The problem is that the surgery would cost £10,000. I am very lucky to have recently been given £10,000 in savings from a relative. I really don't feel that I could justify this on a nose operation, even though I feel that it would make me more comfortable and less self-conscious. It's an absolutely huge amount of money. I personally feel that, rationally, it would be a much better idea to put that money towards saving to buy a house, for example. (I also understand that nose surgery can be very painful and it can take a week to recover from the operation, so a week of annual leave would need to be taken from my job after the operation. While this is a concern, the cost of the operation is a far bigger worry for me).

I had an initial consultation arranged with the surgeon for this month, after booking it several months ago (I think I booked it in spring this year). The initial consultation cost £300 Blush

I cancelled the consultation earlier this month, and was refunded the full £300. But the possibility of having surgery at some point is still playing on my mind.

What should I do? Sad

Thanks for your advice.

I've attached a (terrible) pic Blush

Nose AIBU
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
grumpysquash3 · 27/12/2017 00:40

And just to add, my nose is pretty bad. I have a couple of moles that make it look worse. But mostly I just think that if someone else can be arsed to judge me on my nose, then it's a shame they haven't got anything better to worry about.

Maelstrop · 27/12/2017 00:41

Please shop around OP. Rhinoplasty is usually more in the region of £3000. Get lots of recommendations.

devuskums · 27/12/2017 00:42

If you look at other peoples noses as closely as you study your own nose you may find that most people's noses are rather ugly and look ridiculous (my roman kinked nose included!). Even the word nose sounds strange when you see it lots of times!
It is your money and your nose... from looking at your pics I personally can just see a normal nose, but it is totally up to you. Good luck with whatever you decide. X

IHATEPeppaPig · 27/12/2017 00:43

OP seriously there is NOTHING wrong with your nose!!! However, if it makes you feel so badly then spend the money on it...you only live once and you need to be happy Thanks

mishfish · 27/12/2017 00:44

Devuskums I have a Roman nose! Looks bloody huge in pics but in real life it’s not that big. I’m just REALLY unphotogenic

Original poster
WellAlwaysHaveParis · 27/12/2017 00:45

@grumpysquash3 you're so right!! It shows me how ridiculous I'm being!! 😂 I can see that I'm thinking in a really irrational way. I think I just thought that her nose made her look really pretty, and then I think I must've just got really fixated on my nose and thought, ah if I change my nose, maybe I could be as attractive and pretty 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
WellAlwaysHaveParis · 27/12/2017 00:46

Omg @mishfish I'm so unphotogenic!! My nose looks massive in photos!

OP posts:
jellytotslove · 27/12/2017 00:48

first of all I like your nose.
secondly it's shouldn't cost you 10k to get a nose job. mine cost 3k.
I have always hated my nose and at 30 decided tango ahead and get it done, soon after I had it done I loved it gained confidence and couldn't stop smiling looking at it, now 7 months on, it still looks as long as it did before, the hump is all gone a mind it's a definite improvement but not many people have noticed which is good in a way, but it's made me think I need another nose job especially since one side dips in more than the other now.
what I'm trying to say is, if you have problems with your confidence like me, then you will always find something wrong with yourself, so work on your confidence instead.
once again, your nose is fine, mine was and still is long I still don't like it even with the improvements so don't do it.

SisyphusHadItEasy · 27/12/2017 00:50

My first reaction is that 10k is VERY overpriced for a cosmetic rhinoplasty.

My second, however, is a lot more gentle.

I have a crooked nose. A Roman nose (as it is roamin' all over my face). That is the unfortunate result of years of an abusive relationship - my nose has been broken more than once, and I have a deviated septum as a result. I did not have it treated medically, because I know we the police would them be involved.

If the cost to make you more comfortable with your appearance is something you can afford, and it will make you happier to look in the mirror, then do it, and apologise to no one for your choice.

Rainbowmother · 27/12/2017 00:51

Filler in your nose would cost £250 and give you a preview of what you would look like without the bump. I'd start with that

M00nUnit · 27/12/2017 00:53

Have you thought about having it done abroad? I had cosmetic surgery at Elysia Clinic in Brussels and it was about half the price of having it done in the UK. I had the consultation in London but got the Eurostar over to Brussels for the surgery. It was an excellent clinic and everyone spoke English.

Original poster
WellAlwaysHaveParis · 27/12/2017 00:59

Oh gosh I'm so so sorry @SisyphusHadItEasy Flowers

OP posts:
MyBabyIsPerfect · 27/12/2017 01:18

Go to Thailand and get your nose done for £1k, plus £1k travel costs, then you’ll have £8k left to go towards a house deposit

Original poster
WellAlwaysHaveParis · 27/12/2017 01:27

I think the issues here are how I feel about myself, as PP have pointed out. How do I sort myself out? I'm not really sure where the best starting point is for accessing counselling or similar services. If anyone has any ideas or advice, please do send me a PM or reply on here. Thanks Flowers

OP posts:
LeggyLinda · 27/12/2017 02:05

It is late, I should be in bed and I’m too tired to formulate the kind of reply this post deserves.

But as someone who has gone through 3 rhinoplasty operations (only the 3rd was for cosmetic reasons), I would seriously consider your reasons for considering this route.

It is difficult to tell from your pictures as I cannot see your nose in context with the rest of your face. But from what I can see, it looks perfectly normal.

My “nose jobs” were quite a few years ago now and not as many people had them done purely for cosmetic reasons then. I believe procedures and techniques are different now. Plus, my path to undergoing the operation(s) was completely different. However, I can still empathise with the feeling of wanting to have a “normal, nice looking” nose.

Please feel free to PM me with any questions. I will follow this thread and reply properly when I can (if you wish).
But please consider your reasons for wanting this. It was kind of forced on me -(long story) - I don’t think I would do it now if I had my time again (well. Not the last one anyway).

Mrstwiddle · 27/12/2017 02:08

I've had 3 rhinoplasties. My advice would be to go to a specialist in rhinoplasty, e.g get it done right the first time. 10000 is excessive though.

Mrstwiddle · 27/12/2017 02:09

And whatever you do, don't go abroad!!

SherlocksHat · 27/12/2017 02:21

I had a rhinoplasty 15 years ago. It cost £3000. Everyone was against it, especially my mother and then DP....but for me it was the best thing I've ever done for myself.
It was very uncomfortable during recovery and the swelling takes ages to completely go.
If it's something that really bothers you, then it doesn't really matter what other people think, they don't have to live with your nose and how it makes you feel.
My nose is not perfect but is really natural looking. Like you, I had my dads nose on a small featured face. I look a lot more in proportion now.
Do your research, find the right surgeon. I only wish I'd had mine done sooner.

Lucylululu · 27/12/2017 03:17

The nose surgery will have a huge positive impact on your life. You'll feel much more confident and happy. My friend had a nose job and is made SUCH a difference to her confidence. I'd go for it. There's nothing wrong with your nose but it clearly bothers you.

Sugarcoma · 27/12/2017 03:25

Hi OP - as someone who once (briefly) considered a nose job, I’m not judging.

BUT what I will say is that everyone grows into their nose.

Yes when you’re young having a lovely Barbie nose may make you look stunning (your nose from the pic looks perfectly normal btw) but when you’re older it will look odd on your face. Just look at any number of celebs aged 40+ eg Angelina Jolie and you’ll see what I mean.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/12/2017 03:30

The nose surgery will have a huge positive impact on your life.

How on earth do you know this? The only person I know who admits to a rhinoplasty is still insecure and unhappy now. Because he's done no work on himself, just 'fixed' his nose.

Sometimes it's about the bodily feature and sometimes it's about confidence, happiness and growing into yourself.

misscheery · 27/12/2017 07:37

Right. So I had HORRIBLE ears. So I had otoplasty. Best thing I ever did. Now I can wear a bun, or a ponytail etc without feeling self conscious. You won't give a damn that other people tell you your nose is fine because in your eyes IT ISN'T. Admittedly, from the pictures it looks normal, but we didn't see a full face picture so it's not relevant Your nose is a very important feature to your face. Thankfully I have a tiny nose but trust me, my ears were a nightmare.

Price shouldn't be what concerns you. You should be concerned about the doctor, the clinic, his/her experience as a plastician, how they explain the whole procedure, the results and the recovery process. Recovery is quite though as it swells/hurts and it takes a while for you to see the final result.

EmmaJR1 · 27/12/2017 08:25

How about this for a witchy nose? Nothing wrong with yours op!

Nose AIBU
purpleanorak · 27/12/2017 09:29

I think you are absolutely right to consider some counselling first. You may not need many sessions, but it really depends on each individual. I know longer courses are usually recommended, but I found three or four CBT sessions incredibly useful for me when I was struggling to cope with stress and being very hard on myself a few years ago. I am sure other posters will be along with advice for the kind of counselling that might be worth trying in your particular situation (but for what it’s worth, I am a big fan of CBT and it gave me some “tools” that have helped me to deal with situations ever since).

In my twenties I considered getting a nose job fairly seriously, though never went as far as a consultation. I now realise that I was mostly under confident in other ways, and comparing myself too much to my sister who has a “perfect” tiny nose that makes her much more photogenic. The problem is that photos are really not a good representation of how you look in real life. I will never look great on social media (unless a photo is taken from a particular angle!) but have realised that I look much better in videos. So I would be very wary about judging your nose from photos, instead of focusing on how your overall face and personality come across in real life. That is far more important than a few unflattering Facebook pictures.

Having said all of that, I think that if you are still unhappy with the specific shape of your nose after counselling and after thinking very carefully about whether it is partly an issue about not thinking yourself photogenic, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with going ahead with surgery. Many people are happier afterwards.

Summerisdone · 27/12/2017 09:38

OP I can honestly tell you that your nose isn’t even bad, as I’m sure many others can, but honestly I don’t believe that’s going to change anything for you as you’ve felt this way for so long that it’s now stuck in your head.

I’d say spend the money and get it done, as it’s something that will greatly change your life (you will feel more confident and comfortable in yourself and that will make changes you wouldn’t even have thought of).

If you truly feel that you can not justify that much then could you perhaps put some of the money away for the surgery and save the rest?

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