To think you can't tell an 11 month old off?

[moita]

Longtime lurker, first time poster. More than happy to be told YABU as tiredness may have tipped me over the edge.

My just turned 11 month old is a happy, sociable boy but he has a habit of shouting/screaming: mostly this is when he's overtired and needs a nap.

He started doing this over Christmas dinner. I knew it was from overstimulation/excitment. I've tried to keep to his routine over Christmas but things like having lunch later and having people over/new toys have thrown him out.

FIL objected to his shouting - leaned over the table to DS and started calling him a bad baby and bad DS's name. MIL objected but he argued he needs to learn.

I was a bit and tried to explain that DS has no other way to communicate, hence his frustration.

I ended up putting DS down for a nap and he was back to his normal cheerful self after that.

I haven't spoken to DH about it yet but AIBU to think FIL was wrong? I blame myself for not napping DS quicker rather than my baby for being tired!

If he is old enough to understand being told to be quiet, I'm all for telling it to him as early as possible to get the behaviour right.

And if he doesn't understand, it doesn't matter anyway. It can't do any harm if he's no idea what it means.

YANBU, I think it was not your FIL’s place to tell baby off when clearly you were there and were responding to the situation. Telling a baby off is a bit pointless in my opinion as they are too little to understand, my LO screams and shouts when she has had enough, can be smiling one second and boom, a piercing scream!!

We’ve always had babies/children with us at dinner and taken them away if needed, and this is the preference of grandparents as well, we want them included where possible.

I personally find it hard to predict sleep patterns over the festive period as with the best of intentions to stay with routine, it’s so manic, and LO’s sometimes burn out quicker than on a normal day.

You sound like you were dealing with everything as you should. I think sometimes you just have to acknowledge different approaches to parenting. I probably would have been a bit upset but wouldn’t have bothered to say anything (my bad though)!!

Hope you enjoyed your day anyway.

Thanks for the replies. Definitely learning as I go along! I do definitely tell DS 'no' i.e he was desperate to pull BIL's Christmas tree down. He was told 'no' firmly, moved and distracted. I think it was the calling him 'bad' that upset me. But I would be going NC with FIL or anything like that.

Glad I found this as my 11 month old ds4 is going through this.my first to do it. Has your DC grown out of it?

@4cheekymonkey

I wasn't on the original thread but my DS did exactly the same thing and some days it would drive me mad as he would screech for no reason other than that he had learned this new noise. Thankfully, now he's older, he's found better ways to communicate and did grow out of it.

@Sallyseagull thanks that's good to know! I have a feeling that this one is going to be hard work

I would tell mine off at that age or rather explain that screeching is not nice. Wouldn't say is particularly made a difference with my ds but my DS did understand a bit better. I think what probably annoyed your fil is that you were slow to react, in his opinion. Calling him a 'bad ' baby though, so out of order. People often have less tolerance for other peoples kids or forget what their own were like. My sil used to use my nephew not understanding as an excuse for hitting, screeching and it gets annoying. Yes you might not get much out of telling them off but you can discourage behaviour, distract them or remove them from a situation.

I would definitely say they understand 'no' even at this age. My ds gets told his screaming isn't nice however by that time he got what he wanted and I'm dealing with him so he probably doesn't care so much. I'm hoping as he starts talking and he can get himself more understood, he will stop!