Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my mother to jog on....

70 replies

Happyhappyveggie · 25/12/2017 23:46

My mother and her husband are coming to visit tomorrow. We are a vegetarian household which she hates (even though I have been veggie for 25 years) and I was planning a buffet tomorrow to feed them. This is how the phonecall with her went earlier:
Mother ‘Well, what are you planning to feed us tomorrow’ in aggressive tone. We would like some salmon.
It’s my house and quite frankly if they can’t have one vegetarian meal without making a fuss, then I do feel like telling them to jog on.
I actually think its rude to tell your host what they should cook for you. It’s typical of her lack of respect of our choices and she has always found my being veggie a personal insult for some reason.

Aibu to tell her to jog on if they don’t like our food for one day?

She has always refused to cook me veggie food in her house and as a result I don’t go there very often and have to take my own food when I do.

OP posts:
messofajess · 25/12/2017 23:51

Ynbu tell her she can eat whatever you cook or get take out on the way home but no meat will be cooked in your house

ClandestineAdulation · 25/12/2017 23:51

YANBU.

Your house, your rules. I’d stick to your plan and cook whatever it was you were going to cook.

If you’ve been veggie for 25 years, what do you usually do? I know some veggies who cook meat for meat eaters, but it goes against what they believe so they’re not happy about it; I don’t blame them!

Bobbiepin · 25/12/2017 23:53

Usually I would be the person saying it wouldn't hurt to cook meat but she sounds like hard work. Definitely only cook veggie food. Can't believe you have to take your own food to your mum's house, that's really harsh. What's her problem with it?

Insomnibrat · 25/12/2017 23:54

YANBU, she's being a dick.

Some people just like something to be offended about.

ParcelPop · 25/12/2017 23:54

Well yes you can tell her to jog on, but I think that makes you unreasonable.

You don't have to provide meat options for her, but would it hurt to suggest that she brings some salmon with her to contribute to the buffet?

Win win....

Original poster
Happyhappyveggie · 25/12/2017 23:54

She makes a fuss every time she comes here. I really have had enough of it. I dont think its a hardship to have one vegetarian meal when they literally eat meat at virtually every meal. And I dont have meat in the house- never have!

OP posts:
LockedOutOfMN · 25/12/2017 23:55

Definitely stick to your planned vegetarian menu. Your DM is BVU, and this might be the moment to ask her, 'Did you mean to be so rude?'

Original poster
Happyhappyveggie · 25/12/2017 23:56

She’s got this thing about how I was brought up on meat (I stopped at 15) and has never accepted my choice. It’s actually a bit weird to be honest

OP posts:
Splinterz · 25/12/2017 23:59

I actually think its rude to tell your host what they should cook for you

I thoroughly agree. So would you a meat based dish at her house?

zzzzz · 26/12/2017 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 26/12/2017 00:02

I think it’s bad manners to demand specific food from a host and absolutely no reason why they can’t not eat meat for one meal. In fact I think we generally eat far more meat than we need and should cut down. On the other hand, In the reverse situation, I’m guessing you expect her to supply something vegetarian for you? My vegetarian friend is always happy to cater to people’s dietary preferences because we always do for her.

lastqueenofscotland · 26/12/2017 00:03

I literally do not understand why some people can't have a single meal without meat in it.
YANBU

grinchymcgrinchface · 26/12/2017 00:04

I would say something like " we are a veggie household, so any food here tomorrow will be veggie. If you would like to bring your own food (meat) and prepare it yourself then that is fine. But I will not be making any meat dishes. If you cannot cope with this please feel free to stay at home."

maddening · 26/12/2017 00:04

What a ridiculous comment splinterz

Italiangreyhound · 26/12/2017 00:05

Just tell her in a light-hearted voice that you won't be buying or cooking meat or fish.

Whether you are OK for her to bring her own salon or not and eat it herself/cook it herself etc, is up to you. If yes, then communicate that to her.

But honestly, I would stick to my guns. "Mum yu can have salmon at home any day you like. The food I am cooking and serving is vegetarian. If you are not keen why not stop for lunch on the way and come for tea and cake at four?

Kpo58 · 26/12/2017 00:05

I'd be tempted to cook a vegan meal to wind her up...

MyKingdomForBrie · 26/12/2017 00:06

She’s being absurd. Meat is a part of her diet but to act as though it is indispensable is absurd.

You are a vegetarian presumably because you do not believe in killing living creatures for food, therefore why would you prepare and serve them any more than you would eat them?! Ridiculous.

Original poster
Happyhappyveggie · 26/12/2017 00:07

@slightlypeterbed No, she won’t make a veggie meal for me. I take my own whenever I am there.

OP posts:
littlepeas · 26/12/2017 00:07

I'm a veggie and would cook meat for guests in a buffet scenario (and have this week, as well as turkey today for those that wanted it), but her attitude would bug me enormously!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 26/12/2017 00:08

Well I think that’s the option you give her then. You won’t provide meat/fish, but she can bring her own if she wants Smile

Italiangreyhound · 26/12/2017 00:08

Splinterz "I thoroughly agree. So would you a meat based dish at her house?"

That's not the same, if people have dietary requirements it means usually there are things they cannot eat. I've never met a person who could not eat non-meat/fish products.

Plus the mum doesn't cater to the OP's dietary requirements and so the OP doesn't visit her much. Which I think is very sad.

My 13 year old is vegetarian and I can't imagine making her life harder simply for that fact!

Splinterz · 26/12/2017 00:09

maddening - What a ridiculous comment splinterz

Why? Explain yourself. Dictating meals to your host is rude. Unless there is a bone fide food allergy, there is no excuse to issue a command for a menu that suits your palate.

SkyIsTooHigh · 26/12/2017 00:10

Of course she is being rude. If you are going to call her on it, you could put it that she is being an ungracious guest. How would she react if you went to hers and announced you would like ?

It is not normal for meat eaters to do this. It is normal for meat eaters to respect your rules, eat the food you kindly provide, say thank you, remark on how lovely it is etc. it is also normal for meat eaters to cater veggie to veggies. It's really basic respect.

Mumof56 · 26/12/2017 00:10

I actually think its rude to tell your host what they should cook for you

You don't tell people hosting you that you are vegetarian then?

Splinterz · 26/12/2017 00:12

I've never met a person who could not eat non-meat/fish products.

Vegetarianism is not a dietary requirement - it is food choice. I've never met anyone who cant eat meat either

Swipe left for the next trending thread