To tell my mother to jog on....

[Happyhappyveggie]

My mother and her husband are coming to visit tomorrow. We are a vegetarian household which she hates (even though I have been veggie for 25 years) and I was planning a buffet tomorrow to feed them. This is how the phonecall with her went earlier:
Mother ‘Well, what are you planning to feed us tomorrow’ in aggressive tone. We would like some salmon.
It’s my house and quite frankly if they can’t have one vegetarian meal without making a fuss, then I do feel like telling them to jog on.
I actually think its rude to tell your host what they should cook for you. It’s typical of her lack of respect of our choices and she has always found my being veggie a personal insult for some reason.

Aibu to tell her to jog on if they don’t like our food for one day?

She has always refused to cook me veggie food in her house and as a result I don’t go there very often and have to take my own food when I do.

OP that sounds lovely!!
TBH I would have said "well you can stay at home then" when they said about the salmon. And I wouldn't be visiting someone's house for dinner if they expected me to bring my own. How odd!
I'm not a vegetarian. Far from it. But tasty food is tasty. It certainly doesn't have to involve meat. And it's ONE day. They're not staying for a month (thank goodness). I'm sure they can manage for one meal.

I’m impressed you are still working at the relationship, despite her being a pita. No, it’s perfectly reasonable to cook vegetarian food in a vegetarian house. For those saying she could cook her own meat, would you be equally happy bringing steak into a Hindu home, or bacon into a Jewish/Muslim house? Mother is visiting, if she was coming for a month, then perhaps op might have to rethink. Or find her a nice hotel.

Do you expect a vegetarian meal/option when you go to your mum's?

@happyhappyveggie sounds yum. And not all “unusual” we’re having all of that at dm’s today (plus leftover turkey and smoked salmon and prawns).

I don’t understand why anyone physically can’t go one meal once in a while no meat/fish.

A family member is vegan and gluten free. They hosted Christmas for family this year. The amount of complaints they had before hand was ridiculous. I saw a pic of the dinner yesterday and it looked yummy. Loads of veggies, a nut roast wellington, vegan gf puddings.

After overeating too much meat on Christmas day, a vegetarian Boxing day is a very good idea.
She won't die of malnutrition after one meat free meal

I really want a brie and cranberry tart now!

Vegetarianism is not a dietary requirement - it is food choice. I've never met anyone who cant eat meat either

Me! Me! Me!

For about twenty years I couldn't eat any meat or fish because it gave me terrible bloating and nausea and pains. It turned out I had a huge issue with my digestive tract which took quite a lot of treatment. I'm able to eat small amounts of meat now if I am very careful, but it's best if I just avoid it completely.

WhatHappens, read the thread. She neither expects or gets one, she takes her own food. Which is different to cooking meat in a veggie household.

That sounds really nice.

Brie & cranberry tarts sound fab.

That's a perfectly normal meal. It's not a bowl of boiled chia seeds or fermented soya protein.
I'm not vegetarian, although I probably cook a couple of vegetarian main meals each week, just by default.
I assume you've already shopped for the ingredients, so why trudge out to the shops again?
I wouldn't expect meat or fish at a vegetarian's house any more than I would expect bacon sandwiches and a pint of lager at a Muslim friend's house!

This is easily solved:

You are welcome to prepare and bring with you a meat dish to eat if you wish, but I will not be providing one. Presumably this won't be an issue for you as it's what I have to do when I visit you. However if you do have an issue with it, you are free not to attend and stay at home instead.

its up to you of your house your rules .If a veggie came to my house for a buffet i would of course cater for them so why doesn't this work the other way round .personally i would let her bring something for herself it's your mum

You could apply the same logic I used on DC when young. If she's hungry she will eat.

I think you should apply the same rule as she does to you and ask her to bring her own food if yours is not to her liking. She is being deliberately difficult. We are a vegetarian household and invited my parents for tea yesterday. I told them what would be on offer (selection of cheeses etc), but that I would be quite happy if they wanted to bring some meat (dad is partial to ham), which suited everyone.

Also, to those implying that vegetarians expect hosts to cook them a separate meal, that is not true at all. I only inform people so that they know to cook less meat (if that is what they planned). We are always quite happy just to eat the vegetable accompaniments.

Gosh why are people like this! Vegetarian is the easiest way to go. All
Meat eaters eat dishes without meat in them as well as meat dishes so it's no great hardship - and it's usually so much better quality!

I'll happily take your mum's place and be a v g guest.

In fact, I really don't know why any of us puts up with this sort of shit. We deserve better.

How do posters know Splinterz is a PBP?

I probably would to keep the peace. But then ask her to do the same when you go to her house.

She's being an idiot about this. And rude. But you aren't gong to change her mind. She isn't suddenly going to gain manners.

Decide if you can bear to rise above it so you don’t give her a reason to carry on the tit for tat rubbishness... or if you all out ofbeing the bigger person be clear and firm, not mean or shouty.

Tbh sounds like she’s used up all your goodnature so I do understand if you just can’t tirn the other cheek yet again!

Your mother has her rules, you bring your own. Just mirror them and tell her to cook her salmon, wrap in foil and bring with her. Job done.

Even if you'd normally cook meat for guests, don't this time...stand your ground!