To give PIL gifts to charity shop immediately

[frenchfigs]

Disclaimer: this is absolutely a first world problem.

PILs are lovely, generous people and love giving gifts, and this year is no different. Despite saying they wanted a more minimalist Christmas year, they have gifted us with many presents for the house, like mugs, kitchen gadgets, cushions. I hate most of them. They're just not to my taste.

DH feels guilty about giving stuff to charity straight away, but I don't want it all cluttering up the house. Should I be firm and insist?

How do I delicately stop this from happening next year? DH has already hinted in the past that we don't really need gifts, but perhaps a firmer approach is required.

I regifted some stuff I got but I do agree - I am doing Marie kondo and no point keeping so much.

Maybe sell them on Facebook and get something for yourself

We typically have a PIL pile for the charity shop straight away. They enjoy buying us random shite, not much we can do about it!

I have a cupboard which I keep it in until it gets gifted to a tombola or such like.

Perhaps make a list next year at least it's stuff u want or can return.

Why feel gulity about giving it straight away?

Charity will get a better price for it in good unused condition so, given you don't want it, are only using it a bit just out of guilt, you are effectively doing the charity out of money by devaluing the item.

DH feels guilty about giving stuff to charity straight away, but I don't want it all cluttering up the house. Should I be firm and insist?

They are from his parents and he would like to keep them for a bit ? - I'd say he's should have some say in it surely, why would you 'be firm and insist' he immediately gives away gifst from his parents - that sounds rather bossy !

wanders in and sits down<

See. I do exactly the same as you - straight on eBay or to the charity shop and without hijacking your thread, and there's also another thread where apparently it's rude to intimate/ask for the gifts you would prefer - why on earth can't we just be up front in a courteous manner and tell people they persistently buy shite we'd prefer not to have gifts any more?

I keep all the crap for the schools many requests for raffle prizes .

Find a homeless charity or refuge who help people on limited budgets furnish their new homes.

Mungo's

It is up to your DH to decide. I would be severely pissed off if DW immediately gave away something from my parents - not her decision to make.

Why don't you keep a couple of mugs so you can make PILs a brew in them when they visit? They'd probably be chuffed to see you using at least some of their gifts.
How offensive can a mug be? You can always chuck out some of your old ones...

I think it's ok to give away some gifts to charity if you really won't use them.
No point "insisting" to dh about it right now though. The charity shops aren't open for a couple of days and they hate people dumping stuff outside.

"Immediately"

Really?

Give them to a charity shop if that's what you want but it really doesn't need to be a drama.

Just tell PILS that you do not want to receive any gifts in future as you do not like their choices. They will be upset for a while, but at least it stops them wasting their money.

this is why I have said 'no gifts' for me this year from family - if I really need something I can buy it - we compromised on token £10 gift and gifts for the kids - I don't really need anything!

Perhaps ask the inlaws to donate to charity instead next year.

Wow. How ungrateful.

Agree with posters who say it’s for you and your husband both to decide. You would be massively unreasonable to insist if he was against it

It is a minefield. My mum has done a bit better this year but a couple of hers to me will be going to local homeless charity. I've said thanks and she won't know. But honestly every year she gets me stuff just nowhere near my taste or even stuff I would ever use.

Are they gifts to you AND dh though as then it's tricky because it's not just up to you. I also agree it wouldn't be the end of the world surely to keep a mug or 2 just to use when they're over?

I would put people above presents- eg your DHs feelings about it or potential to hurt your ILs. So would keep the things for a bit before quietly rehoming (which would be understandable and I am quite particular about how much stuff I ever want as less is more in my book!)

Crikey
Poor DH is all that springs to mind.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts.

I'm probably a bit bossy and a neat freak but the gifts are to both of us and we live in London so space is v limited. We already have lots of mugs, glasses, kitchenware, decorations from PILs - I've hit my limit this year! Our first baby is due soon, and I really need to rein this in before I find myself up to my eyeballs in hideous teddies.

My parents (used to) give even worse presents, but at least I can be blunt with them and tell them we're just not doing presents anymore (they're totally ok with this).

It’s DH’s call, you can’t unilaterally discard, but I’d hint at food or booze for future Christmas’s.

hideous teddies You might find that your PFB loves some of the hideous teddies. What a horrible post.

We don’t do gifts anymore, partly because of this.

MIL buys a CD of some random person for £15. I donate to charity shop (still wrapped) who sell it for £3. I’d rather the charity for the £15. So that’s what we do now.

Wouldn't he like to keep anything or swap for something you already have?

I do think it's odd to buy household things unless asked for.