To give PIL gifts to charity shop immediately

[frenchfigs]

Disclaimer: this is absolutely a first world problem.

PILs are lovely, generous people and love giving gifts, and this year is no different. Despite saying they wanted a more minimalist Christmas year, they have gifted us with many presents for the house, like mugs, kitchen gadgets, cushions. I hate most of them. They're just not to my taste.

DH feels guilty about giving stuff to charity straight away, but I don't want it all cluttering up the house. Should I be firm and insist?

How do I delicately stop this from happening next year? DH has already hinted in the past that we don't really need gifts, but perhaps a firmer approach is required.

Agreed.

A bit of abuse from some posters I've taken on board what people are saying about DH having a say too (he doesn't like a lot of the stuff either - he just feels bad because they've spent money on them). But some of the posts are a bit mean for Christmas Day!

Hardly “abuse.”
Personally, I could not be so ungracious as to do what you are suggesting.

No wonder your poor OH feels bad. He feels sorry for his parents who imagined they were being kind.

I agree with you on the hideous teddy front. Stuffed toys went straight out of my house, dust gatherers.

Talking about giving away presents on Xmas day is fairly mean tbh.

Sorry but I agree "abuse" is a bit strong! Especially when some people will genuinely be getting abused more today than usual

Guys, figurative use of 'abuse'!

I know we're all strangers here, but do Mumsnet users speak to their friends the way they do on AIBU? The language is quite harsh!

Yes, your post is entirely mean for Christmas Day.

No, you have not had 'abuse'.

You are being a bit ungracious OP however, it’s up to,your DH to tell his parents the gifts are not wanted and ask if they can be returned for something useful.

How can you use abuse figuratively?

No one has been anything like as harsh with you as the sentiments you've expressed on this thread.

Ok fine, I'm going to ask for the thread to be deleted. Some people are being quite mean. I don't speak to my friends or anyone like this, it's not very nice.

I’m at the stage of life where I have everything I want and can never suggest what the family could buy me as presents so last year I suggested that rather than spend money on me they should donate it to charity. Everyone’s a winner - the family expend money on me, I get a nice warm feeling from knowing that somebody will really benefit from the money and the selected charity gets to swell their coffers. This year the family are spread all over the world so out of sight, out of mind as far as I’m concerned as nobody has asked what I want.

Oh for goodness sake, you can't make yourself like things. Particularly if they are things you'll be using and seeing all the time. Presumably both the OP and her DH will use mugs, for example, so they both have to like them or at not dislike them. She's not throwing them across the room at them, just asking how to tell them gently and politely so they stop wasting money.

Keep them for a month and then suggest the charity shop again.

The idea used to be that threads were usually deleted at the OP's request if they were in some way identifying, not because the OP doesn't like the responses.

Things seem to be changing a bit in that respect though.

Ask for wine or cinema vouchers so you can have a date night and they can babysit

1 aibu is known for being robust anyway

2 given my mum would regularly get a battering Christmas Day - yea I think your use of the word abuse is offensive

Did you appreciate the gesture if not the actual gift? Did they put thought into it? If so remember that act of generosity and ditch the stuff.

calzone brilliant idea. At least if people give those the recipients get an experience they can choose and no clutter.

"Some people are being quite mean" - oh the irony.

OP, I get where you're coming from - figuratively and literally! We used to live in a tiny flat in London and I get that being bought loads of stuff that isn't to your taste when you have nowhere to put it is frustrating. The idea of hideous teddies makes me a bit sad though - your baby will be your PIL's grandchild and surely they'll want to give the baby fluffy friends, even if they aren't quite what you'd choose.

As for asking to have the thread deleted, I asked MNHQ to delete a thread of mine a few months ago when I was given an absolute pasting. They wouldn't. So I sucked it up and swiftly changed my user name.

"Some people are being quite mean" - oh the irony.

^ yes

I should brace yourself for a house full of stuff you don't really like once your child arrives...

(you will be in good company, we all have loads..)

Enjoy the rest of your day :) (and I promise I am not being sarcastic)

YANBU. To the charity shop - we lived in a tiny London flat and I know exactly how it is. I wouldn’t tell them no presents though, let your husband do that if he can stand it.

I get where you are coming from to, and unfortunate as it is we all receive gifts that are not to our taste. As grateful as we are for the gesture, what are we to do with gifts we simple know will not be used??

I have received lovely gifts from a a work colleague, think scarfs, hats, gloves...generally inocuous gifts, but they are always way off the mark of what I would wear style wise.

I felt awful for the waste of money on their part, but last years gift went straight to the charity shop, in previous years i would have held on to it just because it was a gift.