To give PIL gifts to charity shop immediately

[frenchfigs]

Disclaimer: this is absolutely a first world problem.

PILs are lovely, generous people and love giving gifts, and this year is no different. Despite saying they wanted a more minimalist Christmas year, they have gifted us with many presents for the house, like mugs, kitchen gadgets, cushions. I hate most of them. They're just not to my taste.

DH feels guilty about giving stuff to charity straight away, but I don't want it all cluttering up the house. Should I be firm and insist?

How do I delicately stop this from happening next year? DH has already hinted in the past that we don't really need gifts, but perhaps a firmer approach is required.

YANBU

I wish I'd read Marie Condu earlier.

We got given a stuffed pony for DS1 aged 1 week. Along with plastic toy golf clubs. I remember the day I decided it was ok to move them on out if the house. It felt like a weight had been lifted.

The second or third minimalists pod casts covers this well. Have a listen.

The things they've bought you will be obviously missed when they visit, could you ask for the receipts and swap them?

Thank you guys - @CatkinToadflax a name change might be required if MNHQ doesn't delete! Or maybe I'll try to be thicker skinned

I am really grateful, maybe that didn't come across in my first post. I love my PILs, just not the gifts as I'd rather we all spent time together and did things rather than filling the house with stuff we don't need or want. I appreciate the gesture though, and I know they are being really kind. I hope that doesn't make me a mean person.

I think activity-based gifts or consumables next year is a great idea! Some yummy cakes or an afternoon tea out

IABU?
Yes
You're all abusive. You didn't answer how I liked so I want this deleted.

pomegranatepinafore

Guys, figurative use of 'abuse'!

Huh? You are using the word literally because it is not imagery i.e. figuratively.

Huh? You are using the word literally because it is not imagery i.e. figurative.

If it all has the tags on, can't you take it and get store credit and buy what you will need with a baby on the way.
Also just cause you don't like the answers doesn't make everyone abusive. Thats just being precious.

OP:

You are the one who accused people of “abuse” ergo you are the one being mean.

Maybe next year tell Your in laws their presents are tat so you don’t wish to receive anything from them. Problem solved!

Can you tell tell them you'd prefer vouchers for movies, restaurants, special events...?

Have an "Aunt Mabel" party in aid of your charity of choice. The idea is that everyone brings along an unwanted present, wrapped up and with a cryptic clue about the contents. Then, when everyone is suitably fed and tanked up, each of the presents is auctioned off - you can set a maximum of, say, £10 for bids - and proceeds go to the charity. In many cases the objects themselves will still end up with the charity shop (I know mine did) but at least that way the charity benefits twice over and everyone's had a good party.

It’s so not just DH’s call - ffs you are married and an adult and it’s your house. Chuck it all in the nearest charity shop!

Peonies, if your DM gave you a present and your DH said “I hate that, let’s give it to the charity
shop straight away” and you said “no, don’t” and he took it to the charity shop anyway because it’s his house, how well would you take that?

Op, thoughts...for next year

A subscription to...
Membership of...
Putting money in an account for sprog ( congratulations..)
A voucher, Amazon, book token... you can explain with sprog you will need stuff but you won’t know yet what..

After a disastrous day getting stuff for my sister at which she said O God in my hearing, I shall be taking my own advice.

If it was a present for both of us I would chuck it... obv if it was knickers just for me I might decide to keep it but it seems pretty clear these are joint presents. I also think that we are way too British about stuff like this and I’m not keeping hideous tat in my house to occasionally get it out to pretend to other adults that I love it. How patronising is that?!

Yanbu. We have a permanent charity shop bag on the go; I ask but for presents and I continually reinforce this.

My ILs asked what to get DC, they’ve bought three things rather than the one I suggested. Plus loads of other stuff. We don’t have the space and DC aren’t at home long enough to play with it all anyway... something will have to give...

YANBU I've only recently persuaded DH to get rid of something we were given by BIL 15 YEARS AGO.

We didn't like it and have never used it and instead has been on display for 15 years.
DH had a wobble in case his BIL (who hasn't been to visit us in over 10 years) noticed.....
My house is full of shit like this. Your home is not a storage facility for things you don't want...

OP, I’m with you on the general main point. You are not obliged to like or to keep unwanted gifts, esp. when you have limited space. I don’t think it’s mean to post anonymously on an internet forum
about how frustrating or tricky it can be to negotiate the specifics of getting rid.

I do think though that YABU for expecting other posters to say only ‘nice’ things in response to you.

@64BooLane I think you're right, I was being a bit naive! The AIBU section is not afternoon tea with your BFFs, after all there will be different opinions (and that's the whole point), and people can be quite direct on anonymous forums.

Name change fail! Oh dear!

We now have a charity pile. It consists of the primark pyjamas we're given every year (from in-laws) despite my dh never wearing pyjamas and me being fussy about the style. We're also given a set of bedding every year and we've only kept it once and that's for the spare bed. We used to get as far as washing the pyjamas and putting them in a drawer and then charity shop them 10 months later still unworn. We've asked them many times to not get us anything etc and to be fair they have calmed down a bit. It's just such a waste of their money as they don't have lots of money. I also don't see the point in using stuff we don't like when we have stuff we do like. The consumerism of Christmas is quite horrid.

I feel you.
Every year my DH's nan gives us a black bin liner FULL of gifts. They are things she has collected from jumble sales, car boot sales and charity shops over the year. They range from the tasteless to the baffling. Like 3 pairs of men's slippers, a pen knife, an iron, 2 packs of really horrible bed linen, yards of fabric with no real purpose, a bright orange fake D&G purse, a key ring with the initial B even though none of our names begin with B and so on and so on.
One year she got us 90 tiny Santa hats that you put on your mobile phone and they light up when it rings. I mean, even if we had 45 phones each?
On our wedding night we went to our hotel room and outside the hotel room door, filling the corridor were 2 massive cardboard boxes and 2 bin bag - Nan's gifts.
She means well. I have a cupboard I put it all in and every April we car boot it. Her stuff sells like hot cakes. The circle of tat.

Oh boy, I feel for you. We have 4 boxes of bloody mugs in the garage. All the toiletries are immediately re-gifted (most of the stuff I'm given smells like cat piss on me). And as for the M&S vouchers when we have asked specifically not for M&S vouchers...