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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My dh is an inconsiderate arse

61 replies

whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 20:44

Just so upset and fed up of his behaviour.I've had to work lots the last few weeks while keeping an eye on DM since Dad died in September.This will be our first Christmas without df.To make matters worse I'm working Christmas day.I told dh I was off tonight.Get a text he has gone out with mates!!! He sees them more and more.This week he has golf and a few days away at the coast where df lives.He needs a break.......so stressed and angry.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 21:07

Basically he has. Chosen his mates over me...he is selfish.

OP posts:
User02 · 24/12/2017 21:11

He is quite awful. You are working all sorts of hours you are having first Christmas without DF. He really should be more supportive.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 21:25

I specifically said I had Xmas eve evening off he has two weeks to chill out.I'm fuming.

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 24/12/2017 21:26

That’s pretty shit of him. I’d be fuming if mine did that. Is he always this inconsiderate?

Clandestino · 24/12/2017 21:29

I'm sorry but he doesn't seem to care about you at all.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 21:34

Used to be great then after his heart attack took up golf.one a month then once a week then a few drinks with lads then curry night out now this!!!!I've worked 57/hours this week.no food cooked and D's presents not wrapped that I had to buy online.I didn't want to work tomorrow but told myself Xmas eve would be my pit stop....I'm so sad.My own DM scattered dads ashes while I was working Monday...he knows this upset me greatly to find out via Facebook.what a shit Xmas!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 21:36

I said what about buying dcs presents as he never does so I suggested he chose some.he couldn't be bothered.I said what would they think and he said he didn't care.

OP posts:
ImtheChristmasCarcass · 24/12/2017 21:42

Sounds to me as if he doesn't add a single positive thing to your life and you'd be better off without him.

sarahjconnor · 24/12/2017 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missyB1 · 24/12/2017 21:54

Sorry but he sounds like a waste of space and certainly doesn’t seem committed to his family.

New year new start with just you and the kids?

BewareOfDragons · 24/12/2017 22:06

Sounds like he doesn't give a shit about any of you, tbh.

Also sounds like his health scare has made him more selfish and self-centered rather than more grateful he has a family who loves him. What a shame.

I'd giver serious thought to why you're essentially killing yourself for him so he can do fuck all and take me time after already having loads of me time. Perhaps start the New Year without him.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 22:13

He just came home told me I know what to do if I don't fucking like it.Called me a bitch and said life doesn't revolve around me!!! Never seen him like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 22:17

Never been called a fucking bitch.Perhaps he waited for my darling Dad to pass away before he let the truth out.31 years this week.

OP posts:
Motoko · 24/12/2017 22:19

Well, that's it then, isn't it?

Start sorting out a divorce, once Christmas/New Year are out of the way. He obviously doesn't give a shit about you or the DC.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 22:20

31 years this week.Well I've he er been spoken to like that before.Off to midnight mass as I can't think of df Christmas day I'm working.what a very hard year.

OP posts:
MichaelFabricantsHair · 24/12/2017 22:20

He sounds like a massive bell end.

So sorry you've lost your dad, must be difficult this Christmas without him. You deserve better than this.

Maelstrop · 24/12/2017 22:20

Wow, has he had a lot to drink? Why is he deliberately sabotaging Christmas Eve? Do you think he wants out of the relationship?

Why did your dm scatter the ashes without involving you? It’s not something urgent, my fil’s ashes are upstairs and it’s been 5 years! (We’re going to scatter mil and him together~she’s not dead yet!)

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 22:22

That has to be it.I e thought for years he didn't care now I know.He said he won't apologise.

OP posts:
Mxyzptlk · 24/12/2017 22:24

That's awful.

I have heard it said that having a heart attack or stroke can change someone's personality.
Doesn't mean you have to put up with it, though.

TemptressofWaikiki · 24/12/2017 22:24

Well, it's common to have another heart attack after the first one. Often within a year or so. I'd insure him....

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 22:25

DM.was going to scatter them alone...her choice not ours .I guess she suddenly wanted it done dsis offered.she shouldn't have put the photo up as all four of us are reeling.

OP posts:
Mxyzptlk · 24/12/2017 22:25

He's said for years he didn't care? I guess you better believe him then.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 24/12/2017 22:27

People tell me I always see the best in people and I'm too kind.This is unforgivable though D's 18/is here and heard it all.I'm so sorry for him.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 24/12/2017 22:28

Is there something else going on op? I'm not even sure if I should say it but could he be seeing someone else? Is there something that's causing his behavuour to change? Is he worried about his health? What was your side of the argument?

He's being totally selfish and unreasonable, the question is why?

PersianCatLady · 24/12/2017 22:28

Are you sure that he is going out with mates when he says he Is?

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