To think my brother's wife is a lunatic

[acornfed]

So far around the enforced family dinner table I've heard she thinks car seats are largely unnecessary and are a result of intense lobbying by the car seat manufacturers. She regularly will pull out her 1 year child from the car seat and feed them in the back seat..on the motorway..she seems very proud of this

She also dismisses the Health Visitor advising her about finger food as "middle class advice " due to the waste generated with food being thrown on the floor. Safe to say SIL is the epitome of "middle class", living in a very "middle class area" and undertaking a very "middle class" job. Weird.

"I would argue that the screaming of a baby is more likely to cause a crash than the slight danger of a crash occurring whilst a baby is being held for a 10 minute feed"

Only if you haven't learned to block out that distraction while driving.

Don't drive with your baby if you can't cope with them screaming in the car, you are a danger to other road users.

Risk is about likelihood of something happening AND the effect if it does. Likelihood of baby screaming to the next services? High. Impact if it does? Everyone gets a bit upset. Likelihood of a crash happening if you take the baby out of the car seat? Low. Impact if it does? I'd suggest everyone would be more than a bit upset.

Care to provide statistics for that? I don't recall many of my peers perishing on motorways because of a lack of car seats

It is well known that road deaths have decreased massively over the years, despite the number of vehicles and distance travelled increasing significantly.

This will be due to a combination of factors like improved vehicle safety, car seats, seatbelts, airbags etc.

There's probably better long term stats available, but the link below showed that deaths halved between 2000 and 2013.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/annual-road-fatalities

If a baby is so distressed that you feel the need to take them out of the car seat, you can always get off at the next junction, which in most cases will be far closer than 15 miles or whatever time/distance is being argued about and find somewhere safe to stop off the motorway.

No I don’t think she is a “lunatic” however she’s an absolute idiot for the car seats and tbh she has a point with the finger food.

Sorry I didn't work out the maths, it was obviously a rough guess at times. Apologise for not being as precise as you'd have liked.

Ah come on Miss Bax, if you're going to apologise to someone at least own your mistake and make it genuine. Your last sentence makes it a total non apology.

“And I generally cruise the outer lane at 60.”

You do realise that this monumentally pisses off other drivers and is far more liely to cause an accident? If you want to drive at 60mph you should stick to the inside lane, and use the middle and outside lanes for overtaking only.

“How anyone pre car seat legislation survived into adulthood is baffling
Many didn’t. That’s why we have legislation.”

Why do you think this legislation has been brought in? Or any legislation for that matter? Seat belt laws, drinking age laws, sending kids up chimneys and down mines?

“I don't recall many of my peers perishing on motorways because of a lack of car seats.”

The roads are a lot busier these days compared to when I was a child.

Also Op can I just say thankyou for apologising about using the word lunatic, I do workshops in schools about disability awareness and one of the parts of it is exploring what disabilist words and phrases actually mean and why they are consisdered wrong.

LoniceraJaponica - I've already stated I meant the inside lane.

Your last sentence makes it a total non apology.

It wasn't an apology

Oh fgs, MissBax has acknowledged she stated the wrong term for the fucking motorway lane. What's with the posters trying to wring sincere apologies for a slip of the tongue?!

I don't think you can compare stats from the 60's, 70's and 80's with now anyway. The number of cars and lorries on the motorway has shot up since then.

I find the way inside and outside lanes is designated to be baffling and completely counter-intuitive.

It’s ridiculous that the lane closest to the centre of the motorway - so physically at the inside of the motorway - is officially called “the outside lane”.
And it’s equally ridiculous that the lane closest to the edge of the motorway - so physically at the outside of the motorway - is officially called “the inside lane”.

It’s completely back to front and it drives me mad trying to hold what I’m supposed to call it in my head. Normally I stick with “left lane” / “right lane” for clarity because at least just about everyone knows their left from their right.

So I think MissBax is getting unfairly flamed for getting the words mixed up. (I do agree with everyone else about the importance of keeping babies in car seats though)

God I agree with that sparkle. Most important post this Christmas imho. It’s so stupid that my brain actually refuses to remember it.

I don't know enough about car seats so just follow the advice religiously, it's the best advice available, has not changed much over time and is reliable enough to be part of legislation.

I always take stuff from the health visitor with a huge pinch of salt. You have one child and they tell you a certain message about feeding or safety or development is absolute gospel, then you have another a few years later and get told that they are the worst thing you could possibly and there is a new fad now. And that's what it often is faddish advice.

I tend to stick to listening for them for the absolute critical advice where it's actually 'your baby might die' rather than 'this possibly has a tiny benefit.

Even there they get it wrong, one HV told me I must have plug covers when the following week the other one said that they were dangerous.

MissBax, think it's time you bow out.

No point arguing with everyone! It's almost unanimous that taking a baby out of its car seat whilst on the move is crazy!

OP I agree with your 1st point but understand where your SIL is coming from regards the finger food. The class thing now is a bit

Actually, I disagree.
The other carriageway is irrelevant. One should view the side you're on as the main issue. You drive along on the inside (left) lane, and move right to overtake if you need to and it's safe to do so (as you would on a single carriageway road). What's happening the other side of the crash barrier is a different road really.

The car seat thing is illegal & a safeguard issue

It's only illogical and baffling if you are thinking about the whole motorway. What goes on on the otherside is irrelevant.

As you enter the motorway, join the first (inside) lane. I think the police refer to them as lane 1, 2, 3 etc anyway. To overtake, you move out a lane and the furthest one is the outside lane.

Your last sentence makes it a total non apology.

It wasn't an apology

Sorry, I misunderstood - the word 'apologise' in your post threw me.

And Fanclub, it wasn't a 'slip of the tongue', she didn't know which lane the outside lane was, though I shouldn't think she's alone in that, judging by the driving I see every day.

Cross post fitbit

MissBax you don't need to carry out precise calculations to know that if you have to travel 25mph that you need to maintain a speed of 60mph to do that journey in 25 miles; and that a faster speed will result in a shorter journey; and a slower speed in a longer journey.
If you're doing 50mph in a road works section and think that you can therefore cover 25 miles in 15 mins then your road judgment is seriously off.

There’s are some instances where taking a child out of the car seat (if pullling over isn’t possible) is imo justified or even necessary.

Extreme coughing fits, seizures, asthma attacks etc.

But no, a screaming child isn’t enough imo. But I do see her point about finger food. A lot of food does tend to get wasted.

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