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Original poster

To think my brother's wife is a lunatic

194 replies

acornfed · 24/12/2017 06:37

So far around the enforced family dinner table I've heard she thinks car seats are largely unnecessary and are a result of intense lobbying by the car seat manufacturers. She regularly will pull out her 1 year child from the car seat and feed them in the back seat..on the motorway..she seems very proud of this

She also dismisses the Health Visitor advising her about finger food as "middle class advice " due to the waste generated with food being thrown on the floor. Safe to say SIL is the epitome of "middle class", living in a very "middle class area" and undertaking a very "middle class" job. Weird.

OP posts:
MissBax · 24/12/2017 07:40

100mph?! Erm no... There were road works and the limit was reduced to 50mph.
Even if it hadn't you do realise the speed limit is 70, right?! And I generally cruise the outer lane at 60.
I think you need to refer to your driving theory mate

GinIsIn · 24/12/2017 07:41

@MissBax please do read up on it - it’s a very, very stupid and dangerous thing to do.

lightlypoached · 24/12/2017 07:41

our old neighbours were in mourning when they moved in. they had taken their screaming baby out of her seat whilst on the move, to feed her, had a crash and the baby was killed. everyone else was unscathed.

absolutely awful. very rare, very unlucky but it does happen.

Is your SIL a lunatic ? probably no, but is she daft and selfish? definitely yes. I'd challenge her in order to try and protect the baby.

Slartybartfast · 24/12/2017 07:41

mate

right

Fundays12 · 24/12/2017 07:41

Car seats to me are absolutely essentials it’s extended rearfacing until 3 but that’s my personal choice.

The professionals thought the baby would have survived with minor injuries if it wasn’t out of its car seat. It was thrown out of a parents arms and hit its head from what I read. It’s very tragic an my heart goes out to the parent but you pull over if you can rather than take your child out of the car seat whilst driving. My oldest child has autism and got distressed and would scream very loudly in his car seat I went as far as buying a new car seat but never took him out.

To the OP your sister in law sounds opinionated but actually I see her point about finger food waste. If you don’t like her don’t spend time with her.

Believeitornot · 24/12/2017 07:42

I’m not going to call social services for the fact that you decided that not being upset was better than potential serious injury or death. Hmm I’m just questioning the judgement.

I’ve had a screaming baby in a car seat and unable to remove her. But I’d never have taken her out. We always had one of us in the back and would soothe that way.

NannyOggsKnickers · 24/12/2017 07:42

MissBax As distressing as the crying is- one episode of prolonged crying is not going to permanently damage your child. But being in a car accident out of their seat will.

DD hates the car. So I sit in the back when I can and try to sooth her. But sometimes, not often, she has to have a moan for a bit. It won’t hurt her. If a child’s needs are met the rest of the time then one bad car trip won’t hurt them.

Pengggwn · 24/12/2017 07:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wilburissomepig · 24/12/2017 07:44

DH had to take DD out of car seat on the motorway last week as she was screaming at the top of her lungs and the nearest services were 25miles away. We weren't just going to leave her screaming for 15mins straight

What? You think this OK?

Unreal.

Believeitornot · 24/12/2017 07:45

taking a child out of the car seat to comfort or feed them might be acceptable

I don’t think it is in a moving car.

I wouldn’t remove my own seatbelt and move around the car when moving. Why is that ok for a child?
I’ve been in cars when they’ve had to stop suddenly or been hit at low speed and it’s quite a bump. Why risk it at high speed.

MissBax · 24/12/2017 07:45

It was once I've done it, and as I say we weighed up the risks and made a decision (y'no, how we all do every single day). It's not something we're going to make a habit of, and I'm not questioning the importance of using a car seat.
You do all realise that it's legal for us to hold.a baby in the back of a taxi right?

Tour · 24/12/2017 07:45

Im convinced our next door neighbours drove regularly with their baby out of her car seat. Hard to see due to windows but Mum used to jump in the back with her in her arms and they would set off immediately. Both dentists so no doubt highly educated. Madness

Believeitornot · 24/12/2017 07:47

You do all realise that it's legal for us to hold.a baby in the back of a taxi right?

Doesn’t change the risk. And I’ve not done it.

NannyOggsKnickers · 24/12/2017 07:47

I love how people here think they can calculate the risks as being ‘tiny’ without all, or indeed any of the information.

Do you know everything about everyone in the cars around you? The services history of those cars? The precises breaking distances for the conditions you’re in? The driving record of all the drivers? Etc.

To calculate it all properly for the situation you are in your need all the variables. Not just a vague idea about accident statistics and an iron clad belief in your own driving prowess.

FFS.

Rebeccaslicker · 24/12/2017 07:47

It's because people think it will never happen to them. That's why they risk it.

Madness in my view!

Pengggwn · 24/12/2017 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissBax · 24/12/2017 07:48

I didn't say it changes the risk, but I'd trust my own driving over that of a taxi drivers (the ones you see round here drive like lunatics).

Wilburissomepig · 24/12/2017 07:49

Oh well that's ok MissBax, cos you only did it once and you can do it in the back of a taxi. Makes all the difference that ...

HerrHerrHerr · 24/12/2017 07:50

It was once I've done it, and as I say we weighed up the risks and made a decision

Ok, so I understand the risk of the baby being unrestrained (being crushed by you, being let go by you and what would obviously happen then etc). What were the risks of letting your baby cry for 25 minutes. I know it’s horrible, I have a car seat hating baby but what is the worst that can happen before you can stop? Is it worse than the risk of crashing?

Slartybartfast · 24/12/2017 07:50

Taxi drivers just want to make money, they dont want to miss a fare, which they would do if they needed car seats for every eventuality.

Millybingbong · 24/12/2017 07:51

Legal doesn't make it safe bax

I was pretty pleased mine were in car seats when I was unexpectedly hit by a lorry on a motorway. Saved their lives. Fortunately I already knew car seats were non negotiable in advance of the real life situation.

Believeitornot · 24/12/2017 07:52

@Pengggwn you didnt stand a chance anyway.

NannyOggsKnickers · 24/12/2017 07:52

MissBax You are missing the point. Your driving isn’t the issue. You should be driving to be aware of other drivers. They are mostly the people that will hurt you.

This is how people have accidents. They aren’t aware of the conditions and forget that they are driving a possibly lethal machine and treat is too casually (texting, eating, taking phone calls and speeding). All because in their mind they are much better drivers than anyone else.

This is how accidents happen. People get this god like belief in their own driving ability and forget that they don’t have any control over the mistakes of other drivers. You might be a good driver. But the guy next to you might not be. There’s your risk.

MissBax · 24/12/2017 07:53

Legal doesn't make it safe bax

Sorry I wasn't suggesting it does, simply responding to those who say they wouldn't "because the law".

diddl · 24/12/2017 07:53

I'm assuming that whoever is driving also agrees with her otherwise they would pull over asap.

I agree about food waste & food on the floor though!

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