Am I actually unreasonable here? (Eating disorder related)

[PixieXox]

I'd like to start off by stating that I know my attitudes aren't entirely normal and I try to stop it affecting others as much as possible so I'll include the backstory but I'm apparently unreasonable so here we go

I've only really recently started treatment for my eating disorder that has been building up for the last year. My work have been very supportive about it but I have bad anxiety which is worsened when I'm around food. The main instance is that if I'm working and someone starts eating near me (think loud things like crisps or things that smell at all...) I can start to lose focus and panic. I'm looking at better coping mechanisms but very much in the early stages just now.

My go to reaction when someone does this is just to take 5 minutes away, then come back when the environment is better. Normally I'd avoid it anyway by sitting in a quieter area but whatever works. The reason for this is that the sound/smell of food when I'm not prepped can send me into a bit of a panic and if I've eaten already I can't keep it down.

Over the last few weeks, a colleague has started sitting beside me after my shift has started which is fine - she can sit where she wants and I can't / won't try to dictate that. She has lunch at her desk rather than the canteen and it's often something like curry and crisps while reading the news (not working through lunch or anything, just munching and chilling).

I think I do visably panic, to be honest I'm crying inside so I imagine it showed slightly but I excused myself as calmly as I could and ended up being sick a few times (wasn't the best day.) when I came back though she demanded to know where I had been. I was a bit and said I'd needed a bit of fresh air to which she said I was personally offending her and that she could eat what she wanted where she wanted. She said she was reporting me to management but not sure if this has happened yet.

Genuinely curious if I'm unreasonable for not being able to sit breathing in curry. It seems like such a silly thing to me but she seemed genuinely offended that I left. I know it's not anyone else's fault that it stresses me btw, I wasn't feeling any negativity towards her I just needed away.

I think eating strong smelling food like curry or fish in an enclosed space like an office in general is quite rude regardless of eating disorders.
On the other hand eating sandwiches, crisps, biscuits, nuts or other snacky food in an office seems to be quite common.
In this specific situation her reaction seems to be a bit odd and over the top. However if she doesn't know you have an eating disorder maybe she thinks your reaction is odd and over the top. Seems strange that she always sits next to you if your behaviour bothers her. Do you run off every time she eats and it was just this time she snapped. To be honest I'd feel really embarrassed and shamed if someone ran off in disgust when I was eating my sandwiches so I can partly see why she was upset but I wouldn't eat curry or sit next to you again if I knew it bothered you.

tappity I assume you are too busy to go to the loo, so you shit and wee in a potty beside your desk too?

It takes 10- 15 minutes to leave your desk to eat your food in a different room and if it's hot smelly food then you've probably already left your desk to buy it, or to heat it up. Realistically you probably aren't actually working and eating at the same time anyway, so what difference does it make where you are sitting, to your very busy and important schedule?

I rarely take a lunch 'break', just eat at my desk. I could go to the staff room for lunch, but I actually don't want to. I need that twenty minutes on my own at my desk to catch my breath and not be talked at for a little while. The thought of a loud, gossipy staff room is my idea of hell on earth.

Astrid, I didn't say I was important...busy though . I'd rather work through lunch than stay really late as I have a small DS. Can't see it working in our (very large, household name) company as many people do the same.

But giving the impression that you are too busy to leave your desk to eat sort of implies that you think the place would implode without you. No-one, no matter how busy (or important) should martyr themselves to the point that they can't stop for 15 minutes to grab a sandwich or a bowl of soup away from their desk. It's ridiculous to think you cannot do that.

If you really feel that way then fine. Just don't eat curry or fast food or anything else smelly, sloppy, noisy or messy that requires an element of weary tolerance from your colleagues.

Astrid, of course I can leave my desk. But might for example only have a few mins between calls or have back to back conference calls where I can mute my phone and eat during someone else's part. In my lsrge brand new office there is neither a canteen nor a staff room. I have never thought negatively about a colleague eating at their desk though (apart from that it smells delicious and I'm hungry). Clearly not everyone thinks like you...

I think I'd rather not eat at all then go sit in our staff eating areas.
Luckily our entire office eats smelly noisy food.

Two issues I think. Your eating disorder for which you are seeking treatment and which to be fair does spind a little disproportionate; and

The eating of hot, and/or smelly food at desks.

I have 14 staff in an open plan office to which clients visit regularly, often without notice.

In the new year I am going to introduce some new guidelines about food at desks. Simply that if any member of staff wants to eat hot food, or smelly food they need to go to the canteen or the rest room (where there is a micro wave). Lunch at the desk should be a sandwich or salad or anything that does not pervade the environment and make the department appear to be unprofessional.