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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU?

58 replies

MusicToMyEars800 · 23/12/2017 23:10

Ok, to start I know I am playing with fire starting my thread in this topic, but here I go!

Aibu in thinking my DP is being a knob by refusing to skip his gym sessions when they fall on Christmas day and boxing day?

He is adamant he is going, even though I want him to be at home with me and the DD's for those days, just having the days off to enjoy our family, good food and drink. Sad
So I will be alone with me and the dd's, and they will be asking where he is going and I will have to explain to them, And my eldest dd is old enough to question it and ask why he is going out and not staying at home with us. Angry

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 23/12/2017 23:11

Are they open? Will it just be for an hour?

Pollypudding · 23/12/2017 23:12

Unless he is an Olympic athlete YANBU

AlwaysPondering · 23/12/2017 23:13

It's open on Christmas Day?! I would probably double check that.

Pollypudding · 23/12/2017 23:13

Could you do some healthy activity together as a Family?

BulletFox · 23/12/2017 23:13

His gym opens xmas day...?

What sort of time was he thinking of going?

CremeFresh · 23/12/2017 23:14

His muscles won't shrivel to nothing if he misses the gym for a couple of days. Yanbu

Original poster
MusicToMyEars800 · 23/12/2017 23:17

He goes every week on a Monday and Tuesday, it's a 24hr gym, I will check if it's open xmas day and get back to you.

Polly He is most definitely not an Olympic athlete Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
MusicToMyEars800 · 23/12/2017 23:18

Also it will be more than an hour, about 2 hours usually.

OP posts:
StylishDuck · 23/12/2017 23:20

Most 24hr gyms are open Christmas Day but there's just no staff on.

YANBU though. It's a bit pathetic that he can't take a day or two off to spend time with his family.

CrackersForlt · 23/12/2017 23:20

Surely he won't be gone all day, just an hour or two? You make it sound like he won't be there at all.

I think it's not unreasonable to spend a bit of time doing something that is important to you, even if it's Christmas day.

As a society we put an insane amount of pressure and expectation on what is, after all, just another day that we've decided has meaning, even though we all know it's not Jesus's birthday.

Let him go. Better he goes and then relaxed and enjoys the day than spends the day feeling resentful that he wasn't 'allowed' to go to the gym.

nestletollhouse · 23/12/2017 23:24

What a knob

MissBax · 23/12/2017 23:25

Oh for God's sake, so he can't do something he enjoys for an hour because it's Christmas day?!

Original poster
MusicToMyEars800 · 23/12/2017 23:26

Yes but he is like this all the time , with birthdays, mothers day etc, he shows no interest what so ever, all I wanted is one day where he would stay in with us, but as per, his life and his 'things' take top priority.

And I have never ever stopped him doing anything, a couple of years ago he went out xmas eve, but didn't get back until late xmas morning Hmm

OP posts:
StylishDuck · 23/12/2017 23:27

So by that principle, the OP should get time to do something she wants to do on Christmas Day without DH and the DCs. But I bet he would protest to that.

Maelstrop · 23/12/2017 23:28

I think he’s being massively unreasonable, personally. Who the hell goes to the gym on Christmas Day?!

Splinterz · 23/12/2017 23:29

I'll be going for a run and if my gym was open, I'd be up there for bit too. It beats sitting on the sofa with a re run of The Great Escape shovelling Quality Street down your throat and drinking.

Christmas doesn't have to be about excess and gluttony.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 23/12/2017 23:29

I usually go for an run at some point on Christmas Eve and on Boxing Day. Keeps me sane.

Sometimes I go early in the morning sometimes I go while everyone is watching a movie. It doesn't bother anyone.

What are you actually bothered about? Does he just generally avoid family time? Or will he sneer at the chocolate and wine? Does it make you feel guilty that he has the commitment but you don't? Something else?

MissBax · 23/12/2017 23:29

What if it was someone walking their dog for an hour or something else they do every day / several times a week?! The world doesn't stand still simply because it's the 25th December. How odd.

TammySwansonTwo · 23/12/2017 23:29

Wait, why does he only go on specific days? Does that mean he's going to something scheduled rather than just to use the equipment? If so surely they won't be running on Christmas Day, and if it's just using the equipment he can do this another day? I'd be fine with Boxing Day but going to the bloody gym on Christmas Day is ridiculous when you have children.

Original poster
MusicToMyEars800 · 23/12/2017 23:29

Stylish Hit the nail on the head!! It's always if it's his things it's fine, if there's anything I want to do like that he objects and makes a big scene and makes me feel bad about it.

OP posts:
TammySwansonTwo · 23/12/2017 23:31

Also, are you 100% sure he's going to the gym? Where was he overnight on Christmas Eve - surely not at the gym?

StrugglingAlbion · 23/12/2017 23:31

I'll be going for a run and if my gym was open, I'd be up there for bit too. It beats sitting on the sofa with a re run of The Great Escape shovelling Quality Street down your throat and drinking

😕 I don't think we could be friends.

Original poster
MusicToMyEars800 · 23/12/2017 23:32

I just wish for once he would prioritise his family ( me and his dd's, we've been together nearly 13 years) instead of his own shit. I always feel like we are second best, but that is a whole different thread.

OP posts:
CheshireChat · 23/12/2017 23:33

So if he's out for about 2 hours and an extra hour to get there and back and get ready.

Now add 3 hours for the OP to do what she likes on her own, that makes it roughly six hours from Christmas where their kids are missing out (seeing as they're questioning it).

That doesn't leave much quality time in a day, does it.

He can absolutely go, but either before or after the kids bedtime so it doesn't matter and it maintains his routine.

StrugglingAlbion · 23/12/2017 23:33

I think for me it would depend on when he was going. Morning when the day hasn't properly started I would be ok with that. I'd be irritated if he wouldn't participate in nice food etc and sneer at everyone else for doing so because he wanted to go to the gym in the evening though.