So much better looking than partner

[JonSnowsButtocks]

Ok so this is not about me lol.

I was reading another post and read something along the lines of "that person is so much better looking, I wonder what they see in the other person" sort of thing. I see it quite a lot and the "oh they are punching above their weight".

Didn't want to derail the thread but honestly it's pretty standard stuff, is t it? I don't tend to fall in love/lust with people for just their looks and it tends to be a culmination of things that brings me to the point of a relationship. I know aesthetic is important for most but it's really not top priority, is it?

Waiting to be told I'm a complete weirdo lol.

My DH is really good looking. I definitely noticed him because of that, but obviously it's not a foundation for an 18 year relationship on its own. It is great though, and as a bonus, means I have better looking kids than I might have expected growing up as an average looking person.

My husband and I both used to get this. When we got together, I was considered much more attractive and that he was “punching”. However, he earnt a lot of money so the same people that would say I was better looking, would also say I was only with him for his money 😒 I am with him because he is one of the kindest, most decent people I’ve ever met and he’s with me because I’m super laid back and make him laugh. Looks and money don’t mean anything in the long term

As pp have mentioned, we tend to get together with people of similar attractiveness to ourselves - it's called the matching pairs hypothesis. Cant remember why but probably by going for the best looking person you can get. I know there will be exceptions to this, but its shown as

we tend to notice when a couple doesn't fit this rule. Also when it doesnt fit it tends to more often be the woman is more attractive than the man, where the man has other assets such as money/ status. Not sure how it works as we age though as some age better than others.

The good lord likes plain ordinary looking people, thats why he made so many of them:)

Amen......

Fanny gallops i am dying 😂😂

Benedict Cumberbatch is not remotely attractive. People are attracted, IMO, to his character of Sherlock Holmes and of course, his fame.

DH and I are at a similar level of attractiveness. He is fitter than me now as he chose to run long distances every week whereas I chose crochet and sitting on my arse.

We are very in love and he is quite the best person I have ever met and I can't see that ever changing.

Anyone who takes looks into serious consideration (beyond thinking that having a good looking partner is a nice perk) is both shallow and incredibly stupid. There are so many good, long lasting reasons to choose to tie yourself to someone kindness, compatibility, intellect, wealth, influence, general pleasantness. Of course all these things may change but in all likelihood they won't. They are also all very useful to having a nice life in their own ways. But looks? Looks are so impermanent that they are garuntee ro fade with time-why would you invest your time on the basis of something that you know won't last?

My husband is great looking and in excellent physical shape, but beyond looking clean and presentable, he’s not really into fashion, and is only my height (5’7, which I know would put off many women).

Absolutely the first thing that attracted me to my husband was his personality. You have to be seriously funny to be with me, smart as a whip, and you’d better be courteous and self-deprecating, too.

Over the years my husband has become incredibly successful, so I have heard more than once that I’m a trophy wife, he’s punching etc. which I guess is the more common stereotype, though no less annoying.

Good looks may attract you in the first place but if they've got an ugly personality it would turn you away if you had any sense. In fact some of the prettiest or most handsome people I've met really aren't that nice when you get to know them - they don't have to make much effort do they?

I've an old b&w group photo of my DH's fellow students when he was at college. One young man in particular stands out as being really handsome. Apparently he used to get loads of girlfriends due to his good looks but none of them lasted very long as he was so shallow.

Those of us who are plainer have to develop our personalities.

Generalisation there 🙄

Anyone who takes looks into serious consideration (beyond thinking that having a good looking partner is a nice perk) is both shallow and incredibly stupid.

Some people value sex appeal, you value 'pleasantness'.

My partner gets told he’s ‘punching’ a lot. I think that if they think that they they don’t really know him very well, those closest to him know what an absolute catch the bloke is.

“Very few pp have mentioned cleverness as being very attractive.”

I think that’s because it’s a given.

Very few pp have mentioned cleverness as being very attractive.

Over time looks may fade, the headlamps may start to dim, but a good brain will last a lot longer.

I once walked along Earl's Court Road with a student actor so gorgeous that other girls were stopping dead in their tracks to gawp at him. Then they glowered their envy of me that I was his (unlikely-looking) chosen companion. His only topic of conversation was himself - definitely his own No 1 fan - and I was bored almost to tears! Cured me of ever judging on looks. PS Aspiring actor he may have been, but I have never heard of him since!

DeadGood

“Very few pp have mentioned cleverness as being very attractive.”

I think that’s because it’s a given.

Possibly but why, then, do women on the Essex programme go for really dense, sculpted-hair specimens whereas others find men like Robert Peston and Andrew Graham- Dixon really attractive?