Staying with PIL and room is full of BILs stuff - is this weird?

[Seahawk80]

We're staying with PIL for 3 nights before Christmas and 2 nights after. Before we came to stay they said that they had spoken to BIL and said that now we had DS we would need his old room as you can't fit a travel cot in the room that was DH's. They said he was ok with this - I thought well he should be - he's in his 30s! The house was bought when DH and his brother were in their early 20s so it's not even childhood bedrooms. When we arrived yesterday we came up to the room and it's like one of those living museums! BILs stuff is everywhere- there is no wardrobe / drawer space which is annoying but not that bad. There is a a desk and chest of drawers both covered with his stuff - things like old letters, business cards, pens, postcards, just bits of crap. We have had to put everything on the floor and can't unpack. It also looks a total mess. I'm sure they have other people to stay and can't believe they leave things in such a mess - he doesn't live here and hasn't done for years - God knows how long it's been there! Is this normal? I know I would never have guests to stay in a room that was a tip! Please tell me your funny stories about staying with PIL so that I can read them after stubbing my toe on an open suitcase when I get up for night feeds!

My favourite was when bil,'s very old car was on pils driveway while they were away as they "didn't want it left on their drive while away" 🙄
Fil used to go out daily to start the engine and it had all manner of steering locks and alarms on it.
The car was probably worth about fifty pence 😂 They are all very well off. So odd.

I'd just shove it all out the way!

XP's parents' house was like this. Both boys were in their 30s but their rooms looked like they were still resident teenagers. TBF, BIL's was slightly better, but XP's still had soft toys, uni work and all sorts strewn about. Current MIL disposed of the Iron Maiden posters and Kylie calendars and replaced the twin beds with a lovely double for visitors as soon as DH and BIL had paid their first month's rent to move out! They'd be welcomed back with open arms if they needed to, but while they're living independently, so is she!

(I think the Iron Maiden posters are still in the loft, should they be needed in future. They all have squirrelish tendencies)

I could have written this exact same post! Every year we go and stay but have nowhere to put our stuff as the wardrobes are full of BIL's stuff

Why do people expect space in wardrobes when they spend a couple of days in someone's house? It's not a B&B, not everybody can afford a house big enough to have a guest room.

nothing odd at all, and very kind of him to let you use such a personal space

There's a compromise between completely clearing it & leaving it just as it was though.

It's odd (imo) that the wardrobe & drawers are too full to use.

Can you use your husbands old room to hang clothes/store suitcases?

Maybe it's mothers of boys

Straight in with the prejudiced stereotypes.

Surely you move all your crap out of your bedroom when you leave your parents. If you haven't got room you sling some of it out/give it away etc

I had to point out that he needs to eat and that he can't just live on air to protect their table!

I wouldn't let you clip something onto my table either if I am honest!

Mum and Dad moved house a year or so after I moved out. But I took every single thing with me, and so did DB. I didn't even think about leaving anything behind once I had my own house to keep it all in.

It's a bit odd to have so much personal stuff lying about when you have people using the room as a guest room.

Why do people expect space in wardrobes when they spend a couple of days in someone's house?

I was wondering this too! Not something I've come across outside MN. We always just live out of suitcases etc. Not having floor space for those would be a pain though. And having every single surface cluttered isn't ideal, but we get this when we stay at PILs and I'm pretty used to it now.

I consider that it's the adult children who have moved out who should be clearing their rooms, rather than leave their crap cluttering up their Parent's place

it is weird, PILs only really sorted dh's and SILs rooms fairly recently!

and it took them years to accomplish it, right from when our children were born she would slip them odds and ends. matchbox cars to choke a child, iffy ladybird books, dodgy stamp collections

DS1 is the only one to have officially moved out so his room is a decent guest room...I made him sort out stuff and take what he wanted!
DD is studenting, but childhood stuff is gone, and DS2 needs to have a cull, he keeps saying he will but I may have to remind him! His room is full of rocks and starwars shite.

Surely you move all your crap out of your bedroom when you leave your parents.

Nope, all of us still have our bedrooms (I mean sisters and most my friends). I expect my kids to keep their own bedroom too hopefully, what would we do with their space anyway? It will always be their home - and realistically their first homes are not going to be that big.

My own parents have their own rooms in my grand-parents home, I quite like it.

Just move all of his stuff into your husbands old room

I was with you till you got to the table bit. I wouldn't be thrilled with you clipping something onto my (rather expensive and saved for ages) table either as it goes. If you want to bring highchairs and the like then bring one that doesn't potentially take the varnish off tables or break them. Or send hubby to Ikea and keep a spare there. It does sound a little precious of you. Can he only eat if he's in that particular chair. Can one of you not hold him on your knee as a compromise.
It's a long time to stay anywhere!

If my two ever leave home they can take all their clutter with them. I quite fancy a nice guest room again like before we had DC. No point in having unusable rooms.

They can always go down to Stock 'n' Lock if they are desperate.

My grown up sons still have loads of crap in their childhood bedrooms. They are now both married and live in beautiful stylish homes (the type I would like) where their stuff would not be welcome. They are constantly being threatened that it will all be chucked out if they don't take it, but they also know I am a softy and they like the thought that it is here. Beano albums, subbuteo and scalextric anyone?

Yes, when I first met DH he was living with his parents but his brother had moved out long ago. Despite me being 23 and him being 29 we weren't allowed to sleep in the same room so I got given the brothers room. Full of really odd bits, still had certificates and good job offers up on the wall, even photo's that were clearly his! But he had his own house. Didn't get emptied until the in-laws divorced and sold the house.

Green I would get a big box, chuck all the crap in it and wrap it up for Christmas and take it round to their houses.

When DH and I stay with PIL we have a large attic bedroom - which was DH's room- that is very nice. They put in a guest bathroom which is great and there is another small connected room up there which was great when we had DD and DS.
But they use the space - quite rightly- for all kinds of stuff as well. So we often find a clothes airer covered in his grandma's pants because his mum does all of her washing, or their pants. I opened a drawer to put clothes in and it was full of boxes of Tena lady (about 30 boxes) - bought 'on offer' apparently. DS found a pack in a bag and stuck one on his head. FIL collects elastic bands - don't ask- and makes them into elastic band balls and MIL puts them in a drawer in 'our' room, out of the way.
It is a nice room with lots of privacy and our own bathroom and I am grateful and giggling rather than grumbling.

Great idea sparkling.

Do it!!