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Original poster

To Thinkif you walk behind me in the dark you deserve to be stabbed a bit...

81 replies

Bonesinthechocolate · 21/12/2017 19:16

I’m a bit ruffled.

I was walking down a cut through back towards my house with my dogs last night when I heard footsteps behind me that were pretty fast and catching up to me.

I glimpsed a bloke I didn’t know dresses in dark clothes walking briskly towards me, so I ignored him and carried on. My dogs stopped for a wee so I figured this guy would go passed me, but he didn’t. He stopped and waited for me to start walking again. At this point, I took my keys from my pocket and put my stabbiest one between my knuckles with the thought that if he did jump
me, I could at least break the skin and get some DNA for the police Confused (I realise this is a fucked up train of thought, I listen to A LOT of true crime podcasts)

Anyway, I started walking again and he got really close, so I stopped and turned around pretending the dogs had stopped to wee again and looked him straight in the face. He stopped as well and there was a definite ‘moment’, then he turned around and walked back the way he had come Confused

When I got home I called 101 and reported it immediately in the same words as above pretty much, and the woman on the line said that in future, don’t use your keys as protection because you can get in trouble for using a weapon Hmm I said frankly, if someone was about to rape/ murder me and my keys were my only fighting chance, I’d probably risk it.

She’s talking bollocks, right?

Also, I’m fine after the incident. I was shaken but I’m sensible enough to understand one weirdo doesn’t make the world unsafe forever.

OP posts:
AnotherWorry · 22/12/2017 00:07

OP that sounds horrific. Well done for being so brave and thinking on your feet.

I recently went to take my dog out walking after dark and took a small screwdriver with me. I made sure I had a perfectly reasonable explanation for why I'd have it in my pocket and even set up a little scene at home to prove my story. You can never think these things through too carefully.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 22/12/2017 00:14

I think some men just get off on the whole following thing, a bit like flashing. I think they like to scare women. It's happened to me twice. The first time I shouted at the guy and he ran away. The seconded time I literally ran at him and he ran away. I have a very 'fight' response when I'm shitting myself.

x2boys · 22/12/2017 00:19

Keys arnt a weapon though most people carry keys I never carry a bag
and carry my keys in my hand if someone tried to attack me and they were my only defence o doubt the CPS could build a case surely they would have to ask why someone tried to grab me etc?

RavingRoo · 22/12/2017 00:23

I used to carry a penknife and was prepared to use it. You do what you need to, to survive. Deal with the consequences later.

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 22/12/2017 00:28

Are you taking the piss misreal? Confused

TheFSMisreal · 22/12/2017 01:02

Bonesinthechocolate did you mean me? From everything you've said look at it from an innocent perspective. A guy gos for a jog. Sees you with big dogs so decides to start his walking phase before he passes you. Then you suddenly stop so he stops. Natural human response. He increases speed to keep up heart rate. You act shifty then suddenly get in his face as he's about to pass. Still with your big scary dogs He's scared and ran off. If he was there to do anything, how would you looking at him stop him in the slightest? He did nothing wrong

Battleax · 22/12/2017 01:14

Then you suddenly stop so he stops. Natural human response.

Confused

No it isn't.

Any man behaving like that is too lacking in self awareness to be out at night.

TheFSMisreal · 22/12/2017 01:18

Well that was horribly sexist

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/12/2017 01:24

Don't feed the trolls

To Thinkif you walk behind me in the dark you deserve to be stabbed a bit...
Tippexy · 22/12/2017 01:25

@Andrewofgg Good idea but next time please cross the road to overtake her.

Battleax · 22/12/2017 01:28

🙄

Tippexy · 22/12/2017 01:37

Is that for me? Confused

Battleax · 22/12/2017 01:38

No! Grin Just my sluggish reflexes.

Beachtime · 22/12/2017 04:33

A friend of mine asked a relative who was something to do police / law and she once told us (after asking him about what she could do if someone broke into her house)

That she could use something to hand to defend herself that was reasonable to be there. E.g. bashing someone with a lamp or a vase that lives on a table somewhere wouldn't be considered a crime if you were attacked as you just grabbed what you could at the time to try and protect yourself.

However keeping something somewhere for the purpose of 'self defence' wasn't ok.

Like a baseball bat by the door / knife by the bed and then bashing/stabbing them with that would not be ok because there's intent.

Then if someone asked, "well why do you keep a knife by your bed?" and the answer was 'self defence' you'd be in trouble as that implies that it's there because you're intending to use it against someone.

So I suppose that could be why the 101 woman said that - as silly as it sounds (as you thought you could be attacked!) When you put the keys between your knuckles you did that with the intention of hurting someone.

Whereas, as other posters have mentioned if you just 'happened' to have your keys out in your hand at that peicise moment and then 'Used' them if you were attacked; there was no initial intent there, you were just using something that was already there for a legitimate reason.

Not sure how true the above is though! As the closest I've been to policing/law is a degree in psychology and a boxset of law and order Grin

NovemberWitch · 22/12/2017 05:30

Two things. Like a traffic accident, don’t admit liability and don’t give the police any idea that you knew what you were doing. ‘I was so scared, I don’t remember what happened next’
Second point, I have explained and educated the men in my family about how it feels to be a woman alone, at night in particular and encountering a man you don’t know. Now dad, OH and adult son know not to be scary, not to get too close, to cross the road if possible and to be aware of the possible issues. No, they shouldn’t have to, but they all put it in the category of politeness and good manners not to be unwittingly frightening. And it might stop my DS getting himself into a tricky situation he can’t handle.

NovemberWitch · 22/12/2017 05:34

Tippexy why should Andrewfogg cross the road to a side with no pavement and endanger himself? That’s not reasonable.

goldengimbas · 22/12/2017 06:25

I once had someone try to grab my handbag and I had my arm in a cast so hit him with it. He soon let go of the bag
I was told by the police that he could report me for assault,

Original poster
Bonesinthechocolate · 22/12/2017 07:09

Yes... my utterly terrifying dogs 🙄 they are westies....

OP posts:
PinkietheElf · 22/12/2017 07:32

The problem is the law not the police. If you commit premeditated attack as you have something heavy in your hand to use to protect yourself you will have assaulted someone.
I get annoyed when the police are seen as the problem (though I admit they can be on occasions - you get dick heads in all walks of life).
So as explained in PPs you just happen to have keys or whatever in you hand.
I always brace myself if I'm suspicious and am prepared for making the sweep of my arm which will engage my largest key with his eye blinding it for life Grin - It hasn't happened yet but I feel my readiness could be giving a don't try it with me mate attitude. I'm 5'8" which helps. I was brought up in the countryside with no street lights so learned to act capable as I felt it would be a deterrent.

Lweji · 22/12/2017 07:32

You did well, OP. For self defense it's best to face the attacker than to be grabbed from the back.
And except for the Hannibal Lecters of this world, they will be stressed as well.

Avocado0nToast · 22/12/2017 08:00

I went on a self defence course once and was told by the instructor 'do not say you were carrying your keys as a weapon'. Apparently technically (and I don't know the ins and outs of the law so happy to be corrected) anything carried with the pre thought out intention to harm counts as a weapon and you could be charged as such. It's fine though if you 'grab the first thing to hand in self defence' Wink

Lweji · 22/12/2017 08:08

I was told to be careful not to choke the attacker to death.

I'm particularly good at getting attackers into a guillotine position (head under my shoulder, my arm around his neck).

CauliflowerSqueeze · 22/12/2017 08:19

Oh my god. I would not be ok after that situation. You’re so brave stopping and staring like that. I wonder what the hell he was up to.

At a self defence class I went to as a teenager, I remember 3 pieces of advice
1 - put your keys between your fingers to slash their faces if necessary
2 - put on a fake happy surprised face and say “oh my goodness! I knew your mum a while back! How is she?” That part of their life they like so hidden can apparently totally shock them into running off. Plus they think you will know them somehow. Who knows.
3 - yell “fire!” People hear “help” or “rape” and ignore it apparently but not “fire”

Hope this creep gets caught.

PinkyBlunder · 22/12/2017 08:44

beachtime explains it much better than me. I don’t think it was the 101 lady victim blaming as such, people that were intending to do/did the harm really do try and turn it round even when it’s rediculously outrageous. So I’d imagine she was just advising caution. When he was police it did actually happen to DH. He had to push someone against a wall to restrain them and then onto the floor as they were starting to become aggressive in a public place and then got called into court where he was accused of police brutality by sillly persons solicitor. It was all so totally outrageous it got dismissed immediately but the fact was they gave it a go to try for a lesser punishment.

ADayGivingMeHope · 22/12/2017 08:47

Omfg - your life / rape verses defending yourself with keys... if this isn't case closed then I don't know what's happened to this world!