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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Thinkif you walk behind me in the dark you deserve to be stabbed a bit...

81 replies

Bonesinthechocolate · 21/12/2017 19:16

I’m a bit ruffled.

I was walking down a cut through back towards my house with my dogs last night when I heard footsteps behind me that were pretty fast and catching up to me.

I glimpsed a bloke I didn’t know dresses in dark clothes walking briskly towards me, so I ignored him and carried on. My dogs stopped for a wee so I figured this guy would go passed me, but he didn’t. He stopped and waited for me to start walking again. At this point, I took my keys from my pocket and put my stabbiest one between my knuckles with the thought that if he did jump
me, I could at least break the skin and get some DNA for the police Confused (I realise this is a fucked up train of thought, I listen to A LOT of true crime podcasts)

Anyway, I started walking again and he got really close, so I stopped and turned around pretending the dogs had stopped to wee again and looked him straight in the face. He stopped as well and there was a definite ‘moment’, then he turned around and walked back the way he had come Confused

When I got home I called 101 and reported it immediately in the same words as above pretty much, and the woman on the line said that in future, don’t use your keys as protection because you can get in trouble for using a weapon Hmm I said frankly, if someone was about to rape/ murder me and my keys were my only fighting chance, I’d probably risk it.

She’s talking bollocks, right?

Also, I’m fine after the incident. I was shaken but I’m sensible enough to understand one weirdo doesn’t make the world unsafe forever.

OP posts:
lucylouuu · 21/12/2017 19:20

I always do that with my keys if someone's lurking behind me like that!

ohfortuna · 21/12/2017 19:20

Wtf, I would be very rattled after that🤤
poor you, that's very weird behaviour from the bloke
In your shoes I probably wouldn't have mentioned the thing about the keys to the 101 person in fact I wouldn't mention anything about how I planned to defend myself

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 21/12/2017 19:23

I'd say she's talking bollocks. You have a power under common law and S3 Criminal Law Act to use reasonable force in self defence. Guessing he walked off because you got a good look at his face, so could give a description Flowers Hope you're feeling OK.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 21/12/2017 19:23

Unfortunately she isn't talking bollocks (happy to be corrected). However, that said, I would do exactly the same as you op, in that situation. I would also defend my house and family against burglars....although that's frowned upon these days as well !!! Glad you're ok though

Rossigigi · 21/12/2017 19:25

Bloody hell thats really scary!
Def use your keys. And no you aren't the only one that think of things like DNA- mine is to scratch them to get it under my finger nails.
If it's self defence use anything you have to hand. Personally I think she's talking crap.
Sorry you had to experience that. Could you use a different route in future? (Over active imagination but just so that someone hasn't been monitoring your movements) I'm glad you reported it though. How seriously did they take you?

Hatsoffdear · 21/12/2017 19:26

Well I hope the police took it seriously it sounds very frightening op.

I once punched a jogger because I was walking along our lane and this bloke literally ran up behind he and I could hear his Bresth rasping literally just behind me.

I turned and punched him. He was an innocent jogger but I wasn’t to know that. He apologises. Grin

Ginorchoc · 21/12/2017 19:27

No she is is wrong, there is a defence called instant arming, if you are attacked you are within the law to use what you have on you, near you to defend yourself.

It’s a grey area of law, using them thinking he might attack you if difficult or if you run after him and injure him then the law gets murky. Remember the farmer who shot the burglars running away, in the eyes of the law he wasn’t defending himself, they were leaving when shot. Not coming toward him.

There is an old Police mantra, public rights, “Is, Has” and Police rights “Is, Has, Maybe Has, Is about to be” this lovely relates to what is and lawful.

The call taker was probably a civilian.

Hope you’re ok.

Xihha · 21/12/2017 19:29

Sadly she probably isnt talking bollocks, my friend got in trouble for spraying perfume in an attackers eyes. Walking home and she felt like she was being followed, had one of those tiny bottles in her pocket so gripped it in her hand ready, guy grabbed her, she sprayed it in his eyes and ran, Police were more interested in telling her that what she did could be considered assault than actually taking the guys description.

finnmcool · 21/12/2017 19:29

The thing is; if you admit having your keys in your hand, ready to use as a weapon, that's where you could get in trouble.
Always say, you were just holding your keys as you were on your way home/ to your car etc.
I'm sorry you were so frightened op hope you're feeling better now Flowers

Rossigigi · 21/12/2017 19:29

lifehacker.com/dont-put-your-keys-between-your-fingers-for-self-defens-1819780877

I don't know if the link works but an interesting read- and not because it's not allowed!!

Battleax · 21/12/2017 19:30

Ignore her. I have very difficult hair that needs constant attention from old fashioned metal combs.

Wolfiefan · 21/12/2017 19:30

That sounds scary. I could be wrong but I believe it's illegal to take something with you to use in self defence. So you can't buy a bloody big key especially for gouging. But you can use anything you might have to hand.

Originalfoogirl · 21/12/2017 19:31

I listen to A LOT of true crime podcasts

Me too! What you listening to at the moment?

Ginorchoc · 21/12/2017 19:31

Jesus is also correct re the Criminal Law Act and reasonable force, you can use force to get yourself away from a situation or to defend another vulnerable person i.e a child. Once the threat is over or you can get away that would be considered reasonable, if you then continue it again gets murky.

MaidOfStars · 21/12/2017 19:32

I used to play darts and kept those in my handbag permanently. Now, I’m back to keys. My Yale one (spikiest end), gripped between second and third finger, stabilised pointing outward with my thumb, ridges/peaks facing away from me. My plan would be to slash down in their face, hopefully hitting an eye while I’m at it.

And while it may technically be illegal, I doubt there’s a CPS who’d pursue a case.

BulletFox · 21/12/2017 19:34

That must have been frightening, Bones

Hatsoff Grin How did he react? TBH even though he was an innocent jogger he should respect people's personal space

StrictlyCalmanDancing · 21/12/2017 19:35

I think Finn's right. Having them between your knuckles earlier technically brings in the pre-meditation element - although in practice it would be unlikely to stand up if you'd used them to genuinely defend yourself.

Also second the lifehacker link!

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 21/12/2017 19:35

Xiha could be considered an assault. However, if the use of force was reasonable and in self defence, it is highly unlikely that the matter would be taken further, even if the person was mistaken in their belief that they were about to be attacked (provided it was an honestly held belief).

MaidOfStars · 21/12/2017 19:35

And will now be changing that technique, based on the link above.

Slowtrain2dawn · 21/12/2017 19:35

I have one of those mini Swiss Army knives on my keyring, it’s really useful for all sorts of jobs. It is not there to defend myself at all but.... guess I’d really be in trouble if I used that!

Battleax · 21/12/2017 19:36

Sadly she probably isnt talking bollocks, my friend got in trouble for spraying perfume in an attackers eyes. Walking home and she felt like she was being followed, had one of those tiny bottles in her pocket so gripped it in her hand ready, guy grabbed her, she sprayed it in his eyes and ran, Police were more interested in telling her that what she did could be considered assault than actually taking the guys description.

But she was neither attacked nor charged with assault? So good result all round?

x2boys · 21/12/2017 19:36

When I used to do control and restraint training(I worked on acute mental health wards) the trainer always said if someone attacks you you could use whatever means necessary to get away? I think if you then went on to retaliate then you would be in trouble but it's a grey areaConfused

WhooooAmI24601 · 21/12/2017 19:38

Ah there's no way on earth you could get into trouble for defending yourself in that way, surely?

If you decide to attack another human being your human rights sort of go out of the window at that moment (in my opinion) and if you get kicked shitless or stabbed with a key, you've no right to complain. Obviously the law doesn't dance to my tune but YANBU at all.

Andrewofgg · 21/12/2017 19:38

Some time ago I found myself walking late at night toward my car - a woman in front of me - no pavement on the other side of the road. As men go I am not very frightening but I decided to speed up and hurry past her and get well ahead; she might be alarmed as I approached but that would quickly pass. I hope I was right.

Rossigigi · 21/12/2017 19:41

x2boys you are right it's grey. I was a physical intervention training for 8 years. The problem is when people use what they are taught to use in a 'controlled enviornment' on the public. You are taught to work in a specific way with a specific amount of people (based on the intervention) with a specific technique.
However, I say that if you are being attacked, you do what you have to do to keep yourself safe and get away!

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