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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit irritated with my mil over this

54 replies

Amberlight003 · 21/12/2017 15:13

Ok so a month ago I bought most of my daughters Christmas presents, she only has 6 presents off us as I was made redundant recently and it’s been a struggle ever since and I’m still out of work. Kind of scraped the barrel to buy presents for 2 kids. Anyway I put a picture up on my blog and mother in law and sister in law viewed it and commented on it. Two of the main presents were a dolls bath and dolls bed, which were both in the picture.

Fast forward to last week my mother in law told my daughter who is 3 that ‘nannas bought you a dolls bath and dolly bed for you to play with at my house’. She buys toys all year round but they’re always for at her house. I was a bit irritated that she’s gone and bought 2 items off our Christmas list of things right before Christmas but for her own house anyway. We said after she said it that we’ve bought her those for Christmas, she acted completely surprised despite seeing the picture. Anyway we went for dinner 2 days later and she gets the dolls bed and bath out for dd to play with. DD was amazed etc. I just thought couldn’t she have put that all away until after Christmas as she knows we’ve bought her that this year for her main Christmas present, the rest is just crappy things really. Why go and spoil the wow factor to it all?

We’ve seen her about 2 times since and she’s brought it up both time...’are you going to come to nannas and play with my dolls bath and bed soon...you can come for the day and play with them it’ll be so much fun’ bla bla bla.

It’s just irritated me. Would it you?

OP posts:

QuinoaKeen · 21/12/2017 15:15

Yanbu. Is she always like this?

Shoxfordian · 21/12/2017 15:15

Yeah that's irritating

At least you know your daughter likes it so will enjoy playing with it.

What does your dh think?

Ropsleybunny · 21/12/2017 15:16

Stop seeing her, she's vile.

happypoobum · 21/12/2017 15:17

Well you won't tell/show them anything like this ever again will you?

What does DH say about MILs weird behaviour?

Original poster

Amberlight003 · 21/12/2017 15:18

He said he can see my point a bit but to let it go as she’ll soon have those things at our house permanently. He sat there and looked a bit awkward like he was thinking ‘wow Mum couldn’t you just save that for after christmas’ But he would never say anything. That’s a different story all together

OP posts:

WhatHappensInVagas411 · 21/12/2017 15:18

Your MIL is a controlling cunt by looks of things and something needs to be said/done about it. In future, don't post pics of present for your MIL to see (not that you should have to but makes things easier).

If it was me, I would return the toys and but something else OR just buy something else. Even if that meant sticking it on a credit card or selling something to get some cash.

But seriously, someone needs to have a serious word with MIL.

TheMerryWidow1 · 21/12/2017 15:19

what a nasty thing to do to you and yes it was done on purpose. Don't tell her anything ever again the Witch.

Maelstrop · 21/12/2017 15:20

She’s deliberately being a bitch. Why haven’t you said anything, knowing she commented on the picture? Horrible of her to get the stuff out before Christmas, that’s deliberately unpleasant of her.

RestingGrinchFace · 21/12/2017 15:22

YANBU-can you return them and get something different?

Tinselistacky · 21/12/2017 15:22

Block her off all social media so she can't intrude on your life and plans. Keep your business your business. I hope she won't be doing any childcare for you in the future, she is unhinged.

Silverthorn · 21/12/2017 15:23

Yanbu. What a bitch

Animation86 · 21/12/2017 15:23

I had a MIL who would do this. Would buy everything to store at her house.

It's so inconsiderate. She wants to look like the fabulous one, its for her ego.

We used to just ensure we took anything like that to her house to prove a point. It went as far as buggys and moses baskets, travel cots etc when we had no intention of leaving LO there and never did until she was about 4/5. We left her with the joy of getting rid of all those toys and kit that was never touched.

pallisers · 21/12/2017 15:26

She is certainly a piece of work.

I'd have headed her off at the pass if I could said "no, let's not get any presents out before Christmas".

If she insisted, I'd have said "I find it a bit odd that you would produce 2 presents that santa is likely to give 5 days before christmas. Next Christmas we'll have to make sure to stay away from you until santa gets here"

nutnerk · 21/12/2017 15:28

Terrible MIL but your husband needs to have your corner. It will only get worse. Sorry. See 'JustNOMIL' sub on Reddit for like minded people!

SparklyUnicornTractors · 21/12/2017 15:31

YANBU, not nice of her at all.

From here on she gets no information or pictures about plans or presents so she can't pre empt them. And yes, agree about returning the bed/bath for something else if you can. I'm sorry, when it's a tough Christmas anyway that's hurtful.

Original poster

Amberlight003 · 21/12/2017 15:31

What made me laugh was the fact she had the be and bath out in her play room, in the middle of the floor with the door wide open. Every single time dd goes to the toilet she has to walk past the ‘play room’ as it’s on the way and without fail she runs in there and starts playing. So when mil took dad to the toilet that’s what she did and of course she found the bed and bath sitting right there. Mil came down with them both in her hand and said ‘I wasn’t going to let her have these until after Christmas’ so then why leave them in the room dd wonders into every time she’s at your house, why have u even brought them down the stairs for her to play with? It is a spiteful thing to do. Controlling.

OP posts:

JoJoSM2 · 21/12/2017 15:39

That woman is a nasty piece of work.

LizzieSiddal · 21/12/2017 15:44

Yes it is a nasty thing to do.

Your dh will have to start speaking up, or it will only get worse.

Aki99 · 21/12/2017 15:48

What a cunt she is

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 21/12/2017 15:50

Yes, that's nasty one-upmanship right there. She's done it completely deliberately, to show your DD that she's far better than you are. Much of it could have been put down to error, if she'd at least tried to hold back so your DD didn't see it til after Christmas but no - she had to push it so that your DD saw it.

Nasty behaviour. Your DP needs to get onto this and make sure it never happens again.

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/12/2017 15:51

“are you going to come to nannas and play with my dolls bath and bed soon”. Just no. Go round them, collect the toys, take them home and swap your dds presents for something else. Grandma doesn’t get to call them her toys. That’s not a present. They are toys to play at her house. She’s toxic. Avoid as much as possible. She’s manipulating your child. Please limit contact with her.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 21/12/2017 15:51

Sod waiting for your DH, he will be used to it. Tell her yourself... you found her actions, buying copies of DDs Christmas presents and giving them to her just for the sake of it is a cruel thing to do to your DD who will have nothing special for Christmas now! What kind of loving GM does that?

Tell her plainly, she is the Absolute Grinch that has stolen Christmas from your house!

5foot5 · 21/12/2017 15:54

Another one here thinks you should say something or she will do this sort of thing again and again.

I would have emailed her afterwards to express your surprise that she would do this knowing that you had bought her similar presents and this was likely to "take the edge" off the presents you had got her. Ask her to please be careful about giving presents so soon before Christmas and birthdays in future.

If she ignores or kicks off then I think limit your visits and certainly be careful what you share with her on social media.

glitterlips1 · 21/12/2017 16:07

I would be annoyed too. My mother does very similar things. I never tell her what I am buying my nephew or nieces because anymore because she will rush out to buy it or similar and will hand it to them before me. I would block them from viewing your blog if you can.

HotelEuphoria · 21/12/2017 16:12

It isn't acceptable. You need to call her out on it. On a separate note, if she has history of being like this why would you put pictures of them on your blog?

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