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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is BU?

118 replies

Masonmumny12 · 21/12/2017 08:53

I won't tell you which person I am as I honestly want to know if IBU...
Person A has a car she has a disabled husband (he is mobile and does not need to be driven around 24/7) a 1yr old child and is 6 months pregnant.
Person B is a shift worker (mostly nights) her and her husband has had a tough time lately due to financial problems, and really needs the car for work.

Person A lends person B her car I October. Person B promises to return the car in December (no date specified, but before Christmas) all is fine.

December comes around and Person A asks for the car to be returned within 2 weeks, give or take a few days.
Person B said that she would like the car until January, but this is not a possibility for Person A.
A day before Person B is to return the car, she gets into an accident. Thankfully she is not hurt, however the car is damaged. Her insurers give her a courtesy car. All great.
Person A is angry because she now has no car for Christmas. She said to Person B that she expected a car on day 'X' and regardless she should have one (meaning she should be entitled to the courtesy car)
Person B believes that this accident was no one's fault and all has been put out.

Who is BU??
Tried to keep objective x

OP posts:
Original poster
Masonmumny12 · 21/12/2017 10:04

@sukithedog no it's not xx @derelictwreck she is being very secretive! All I know is that someone has admitted fault in the accident and my car is in a garage somewhere!! If she wasn't my cousin I would have called the police.

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 21/12/2017 10:07

Trouble is, OP, you have no insurance and you would not be insured to drive the courtesy car.

So I think whether B gives the courtesy car to you or not is a red herring.
She absolutely can't. The issue is that you lent her a car on the condition you have it back by a certain date but it got crashed just before the return date. Doesn't matter that it wasn't B's fault; it happened on her watch so B needs to find a way of providing you with transport until it is fixed. She needs to do something. Shrugging and expecting you to suck it up is totally unacceptable.

Tinty · 21/12/2017 10:08

Masonmummy12 please don't tell the insurance (or anyone else), that the car is yours. A quick google seems to imply you could get a £5000 fine and 8 penalty points for not putting her as a named driver on your insurance.

Original poster
Masonmumny12 · 21/12/2017 10:11

@tinty thanks x I think that's part of the problem.... I didn't have insurance as it ran out the day before. I am only the owner therefore she alone took out insurance but I am beginning to realise that she fail to mention that the legal owner

OP posts:
CurryWorst · 21/12/2017 10:12

Obviously the hire car is to replace your damaged car, so therefore you should have it

absolutely wrong. The hire car is from the insurance of driver B, and nothing to do with person a. They cannot have the hire car.

CurryWorst · 21/12/2017 10:13

BTW, you can totally insure yourself as the main (and only) driver on a car you do not own. But you have to tell the insurance company at the time and it will probably cost you more (and not all companies will cover you)

Rayna37 · 21/12/2017 10:22

She should be able to pay to add you as a named driver on her insurance, then you can drive the courtesy car. Which she should hand over to you. As soon as the car is fixed, insure it yourself and ensure her insurance is cancelled.

diddl · 21/12/2017 11:33

" my car is in a garage somewhere!!"

Do you not know where??

Original poster
Masonmumny12 · 21/12/2017 11:46

@diddl nope and I literally feel sick with stress... I know I can contact the police but I'm so reluctant.

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 21/12/2017 11:49

B needs to find a way of providing you with transport until it is fixed. She needs to do something. Shrugging and expecting you to suck it up is totally unacceptable.
This.

I wonder if her insurance company knows she isn't the owner though?

gamerchick · 21/12/2017 11:50

Tell her you’re contacting the police. See what she does.

Christ in a bike, stand up for yourself. She’s taking the piss.

Jaxhog · 21/12/2017 11:51

Any legal eagles out there who know the legal position? It seems a very unsatisfactory situation to put someone into.

user1495222250 · 21/12/2017 11:54

Person B is the unreasonable one. They are being unbelievably cheeky & selfish and should give the courtesy car to A with a grovelling apology for not returning the car after the initially agreed period.

If I was person A, I'd be ashamed of myself.

Original poster
Masonmumny12 · 21/12/2017 11:57

@gamerchick you are absolutely correct, I am being an absolute push over but I can't seem to figure out the right thing to do as she is family

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 21/12/2017 11:58

Definitely threaten to call the police, your cousin's behaviour has been appalling. It won't be nice but she shouldn't continue to take the piss.

I used to let other people borrow my car in the past, back in the days when it wasn't astronomically expensive to insure cars for any driver of 25 and over. But I wouldn't now, it's more hassle than it's worth and my car is only insured for myself and DH, end of.

gamerchick · 21/12/2017 11:59

Yes and she’s taken advantage of you thinking that. She doesn’t seem to have the same opinion though.

Just tell her you’re contacting thher police. Put a rocket up her arse or this stand off will just go on and you’ll have no car. Tell her you want to know where the car is for starters.

SparklyLights · 21/12/2017 12:03

Person A should get the courtesy car without a doubt HOWEVER that may not be possible under the terms of insurance etc. If it were possible then Person A should definitely have the car.

If the courtesy car can’t be lent to Person A due to insurance then Person B should grovel, apologise and offer to run lifts on courtesy car wherever possible. Person A should have their own car back by now. Person B shouldn’t benefit of use of courtesy Car leaving Person A without.

The only thing I’d say to Person A is that they shouldn’t have lent something so essential out (whether it is used all the time or not). Person A was not being unreasonable to lend it, just that this sort of thing can happen and it’s a pain in the neck and highly inconvenient to sort out.

ImAMarshmellow · 21/12/2017 12:33

If she's paid the insurance you wouldnt be able to drive the replacement, so I would say the curtesy cars is B (although your worse off because no car, no replacement)

If it gets written off who gets the money?

When the car is repaired, make sure you go with her to collect it. I'd be VERY careful and check a legitimate garage is repairing and it's had all the correct VOSA checks. Also have a good look round the car and check the repair has been done properly.

What you did was a good thing, she's just an absolute melt for treating you like this.

PurpleMinionMummy · 21/12/2017 12:41

B is being unreasonable but I suspect you can't have the courtesy car anyway if the insurance is hers.

As for insuring a car that's not yours I don't believe that's an issue at all. My dh was the legal owner of our last main family car for many hears but I held the main insurance policy on it as I drove it the most. Perhaps it's different if you live in the same household though.

Jaxhog · 21/12/2017 13:43

You need to know where your car is being repaired! Person B must tell you this, plus they should give you copies of all correspondence with their insurance company about what happened. Is it even being repaired at an insurance company approved garage?

RestingGrinchFace · 21/12/2017 13:46

B-they accident happened under their watch to a car that didn't belong to them. They should make sure that A has a a car of some sort-whether it is the courtesy car or a pays to hire another car.

Jaxhog · 21/12/2017 13:49

This is how to insure a car that doesn't belong to you (UK).
www.money.co.uk/car-insurance/how-to-insure-yourself-to-drive-someone-elses-car.htm

What it doesn't say is how to resolve problems when the car is in an accident.

Original poster
Masonmumny12 · 21/12/2017 13:54

Thank you @jaxhog I have sent a message to my cousin (yet again) and kept it strictly business. I asked her for all correspondence and to know exactly where the car is. Still waiting for her to reply Hmm

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 21/12/2017 13:59

She’s being a dick, how stressful for you OP. I hope she replies and decides to be a bit more civilised and you get your car back ASAP. No more favours for horrible user cousin!

OhBeggerItsMorning · 21/12/2017 14:04

Have you seen the courtesy car? Do you know for definite your cousin has one? Do you know for definite there was an accident? As you said upthread - your cousin is being very secretive, could she have invented the accident in the first place just to keep your car longer? Has she sold it and bought another for herself? (Hard to do without owners documents, though.)

If I were you I would start at square one and investigate that. You are in a position to demand to see your car, after all it is yours, you have paperwork to prove it. If it is damaged, as the owner you need to be involved with the garage and possible repairs - you need to know what is being done to it, and before Christmas, so by Saturday as I expect most garages will be closed for at least a few days between Christmas and New Year.

If it hasn't been in an accident you need it back now, if you don't get it back you will probably have to report it as stolen to the police, cousin or no cousin. Then you should probably go nc.

Your cousin has pulled a fast one on you, come down hard on her, she has only brought the consequences on herself if she is lying about something.