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Original poster

To change my xmas plans because of terrorist threat

164 replies

questabelletreetop · 20/12/2017 21:39

We have afternoon tea booked in London tomorrow, I was planning on taking my two DC ages 12&4 with my sister. The plan is to do that then take the open top bus along Oxford Street to see the lights, ending in Trafalgar Square for carol singing.

My question is with such a huge terrorist risk in London this Christmas would you be taking your children, especially a four year old who can't run?
Is this a sensible thing to do?!

OP posts:
swingofthings · 21/12/2017 09:22

OP, I can fully sympathise with you as for the first time in my life, I am experiencing serious anxiety issues and panic attacks. The problem is not as much the thought of your fear actually happening, but the fear of experiencing the fear.

Like you, I used to live and work in London for years without a thought. I had to go take my DD to London for an interview on Monday that went on for a whole afternoon, so had to keep myself busy. Took buses, underground, train and the thought was there all the time. I told myself that being aware and looking around without being obvious about it was actually a good thing.

I was very anxious before going and on my way, but actually found that it got better as the day went by. I'm sure you know if you've suffered from anxiety for some time that avoiding what makes you anxious is what makes it worse and that confronting it, with measures in place to reduce the chance of an attack is what will make you better.

So hope you do go and even if it doesn't turn out to be the best experience possible for you, it will be for your kids AND you'll come back feeling stronger so that maybe soon enough, you'll be able to go again and this time really enjoy yourself.

loobyloo1234 · 21/12/2017 09:22

How many threads have there been on this subject now? Confused

Go, don't go. In the nicest way possible OP, London won't miss you

PinkSquash · 21/12/2017 09:25

I'm an ex Londoner, and now work in an area with a massive risk of terrorism. I have anxiety, I still take my kids to London- I actually feel safer now than I did with the IRA in the late 80s early 90s.

Unfinishedkitchen · 21/12/2017 09:28

I think MN should creat an ‘I’m scared of going to London’ topic. It comes up so regularly.

ShirleyPhallus · 21/12/2017 09:41

I think MN should creat an ‘I’m scared of going to London’ topic. It comes up so regularly.

Good idea. Then I’d hide it so as to avoid reading this nonsense on such a regular basis

Caulk · 21/12/2017 10:08

I think MN should creat an ‘I’m scared of going to London’ topic. It comes up so regularly.

YES! This totally. They could also have an automatic posting like on the MH ones suggesting people get RL support for their anxiety.

loobyloo1234 · 21/12/2017 10:12

I think MN should creat an ‘I’m scared of going to London’ topic. It comes up so regularly.

This ^

SillyLittleBiscuit · 21/12/2017 10:17

I think everyone should stay away - at least until I've broken up from work.

cardibach · 21/12/2017 10:21

OP there’s a lot on here about whether you will enjoy the day. With all due respect, it’s more about whether your kids will. You booked this for them. Hide your anxiety, let them have a good time and, as a PP said, you’ll probably feel it will get better as the day goes on.
As others have said, the official threat level may be high but the direct personal threat to you and your family is tiny.

CurryWorst · 21/12/2017 10:30

My question is with such a huge terrorist risk in London this Christmas

What huge risk?

CurryWorst · 21/12/2017 10:30

My question is with such a huge terrorist risk in London this Christmas

What huge risk?

Abra1d · 21/12/2017 10:45

The issue is your anxiety not an imagined terrosrism risk.

You need to brush up on risk assessment and statistics but I suspect you don’t want a reason for changing your mind. So whatever. Stay home.

EastDulwichWife · 21/12/2017 10:47

Sounds like a wonderful day out. Enjoy it. You'll be fine.

ArcheryAnnie · 21/12/2017 10:49

You are more likely to be killed on the motorway driving there.

It'll be fine. Go, if you think you will enjoy it. Stay home if you think you won't. Me, I was in Trafalgar Square yesterday, and Westminster the day before, and will be at the Tate later on today. It was fine.

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 21/12/2017 11:44

go and enjoy the day.

I live in France, just after the Paris terror attacks my 8 year old was due to go on a 4 day trip to Paris, I really didn't want her to go felt quite sick at the thought of it, I spoke to my brother (works in terror related stuff) he said with the heightened threat comes heightened security visible and not so visible.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 21/12/2017 12:02

I'm from London. I lived and worked there during the IRA bombings. I never found that particularly scary as there were usually warnings and deaths and injuries minimal amongst those who evacuated properly.

I never really found it scary because I was young and didn't have a sense of my own mortality then.

These days it scares me more because the methods of killing seem so much more drawn out and brutal. And of course I worry about my kids or leaving them.

When I'm in London which is regularly I follow sensible precautions. I avoid or pass quickly through crowded areas and remain vigilant for unattended bags. I take the bus rather than the tube because tubes are preferred for attacks because there is opportunity for more casualties.

It might sound silly, but the tube has been attacked (even the 7/7 bus bomb was supposed to be on the tube) since I started doing that. I also went to the London Aquarium last Christmas and passed very quickly over Westminster Bridge and avoided the area around the London Eye because I felt vulnerable in those crowds. And of course that area was attacked too. They weren't on the days I was there, but if they had been my chances of surviving would have been higher.

The chances of being killed in a car crash or crossing the road might be higher, but I don't drive without a seatbelt or walk out into the road without looking either.

Personally in the OPs case I would ditch the carroling.

AngeloMysterioso · 21/12/2017 12:08

Well I work on Trafalgar Square so if I had your mentality I’d be unemployed!
Come to London OP. Have a lovely day.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 21/12/2017 12:13

Well that's exactly it isn't it? You don't take unecessary risks. Being unemployed is a hell of a lot bigger a risk than getting into an attack, so if you have to go somewhere every day for work you do. I did during the IRA attacks.

But if you're doing something purely for enjoyment you have to weigh up how much you want to do it with how much of a risk you think it is. Personally I would probably forgoe the carrolling as I wouldn't enjoy it too much in a risky area.

JacquesHammer · 21/12/2017 12:15

I’m so tired of these threads, they appear regularly

Indeed. If only it weren't compulsory to open threads that don't interest you Hmm

OP YABU but you know that. Could you give yourself some strategies to help manage your anxiety on the day? It would be a real shame to cancel your plans BUT I can understand why you're nervous.

Goldenhandshake · 21/12/2017 12:17

The number of armed police in central London, which is heightened during the festive season, you are probably safer than at any other time.

DeepanKrispanEven · 21/12/2017 12:17

I cancelled the trip I'd planned to take my 5 year old DS to the natural history museum because of this very reason. It's know it's ridiculous, but I know my anxiety would mean I wouldn't enjoy the day

superduperdo, that's such a shame for your son's sake. Surely taking him to the Natural History Museum is about his enjoyment, not yours? I've taken my children on numerous activities which I didn't enjoy in the least, but they loved.

DoubleLottchen · 21/12/2017 12:29

OP, I know how you feel because I sometimes have the same anxieties (weirdly not every time, just occasionally).

I always go, because I know that when I get there, and am walking through the familiar city that I love, I will probably feel absolutely fine. Whereas if I didn't go, then it would be easier to not go the next time I felt anxious, and it could spiral.

So I would understandingly encourage you to go.

taratill · 21/12/2017 12:52

I went to uni with one of the victims of 7 / 7, I went to school with a young man who was knifed to death in Birmingham in a random attack. My cousin's child was knocked over and killed by a bus aged 11. A school friend died from cancer. An ex boyfriend was killed in a motorbike accident at 19.

All of these things are very tragic BUT they just tell me that I have to live you life without fear as you don't now what's around the corner.

The probability of the terrorist attack was much less than any of the other (equally tragic) deaths.

user1495222250 · 21/12/2017 13:03

Get yourself to London and have a great time. Terrorists want to cause fear, affect our way of life. Your plans sound lovely; don't let them spoil a lovely day.

superduperdo · 21/12/2017 13:47

Deepan - the thing is the anxiety isn't for me, it's for my two sons. The thought of being caught up in an incident is some sort, the panic, the running, never mind the risk of them actually being hurt or worse... it's terrifying. I never used to have problems with anxiety, I've done far more risky things in my younger years and never even thought about it, but having kids has been a massive factor. It's not helped by the fact that my second child was lost to a later term miscarriage at 21 weeks - I worry so much more about small risks now, because it happened to us. I do need to try and keep in in perspective, though. I struggle with even letting him ride his scooter to school on the pavement!
Like I said, I think we will go, but just avoid the tube. I've always hated the tube for lots of reasons, anyway.

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