To change my xmas plans because of terrorist threat

[questabelletreetop]

We have afternoon tea booked in London tomorrow, I was planning on taking my two DC ages 12&4 with my sister. The plan is to do that then take the open top bus along Oxford Street to see the lights, ending in Trafalgar Square for carol singing.

My question is with such a huge terrorist risk in London this Christmas would you be taking your children, especially a four year old who can't run?
Is this a sensible thing to do?!

Honestly, please don't change your plans, you will be fine. I go up every week, London is so big you are unlikely to be in danger even if there was an attack....and the likelihood of that is still low even with the raised threat levels.
The carol singing will be great and the security will be high.
At the moment, London is magical....there are lights everywhere and Christmas trees in every shop and on every street corner. When it gets dusk and the lights are on, it is a Christmas wonderland....I never fail to be delighted myself and if I were a child, I'd find it really exciting. The children will love it, don't let fear spoil the day....

Questa

I'm sorry for saying Meh.

But I need to have that view or I couldn't live my life.

As other posters have said though, the police are clamping down VERY quickly on terror attacks or even threats of them, & the likelihood of you being involved is very low.

OP

If you don't go your anxiety is effecting your children and their lives. It is not the terrorist threat making you wary it is your anxiety.

London has been bombed hundreds of times, there have been multiple attacks, but as a sign on the tube said, "dear terrorists, we are British and we will jolly well drink tea and carry on".

Do you have any coping strategies? Have you seen a counsellor? Do you have some medication?

There is not much you can do about terrorism other than reporting unattended packages/bags. There are things you can do about anxiety.

Nothing would make me go to that part central London at this time of year, I lived there for years and Oxford Street just before Xmas is horrendous and far from relaxing.

There's no way I would take my son to London or any big UK city anytime soon. If the terrorists have won, then so be it. I'm not risking my family for anything. I know people will think this is ridiculous but I honestly dont care!

I agree with Lucy

Please go. The risks are tiny.

I'm going in to central London on Saturday and I've had sleepless nights about it for ages, I won't be happy until I'm home tbh. I'm still going though.

OP i do understand the anxiety, both from experience of growing up around terrorism and also the personal experience of tragedy. You ask The way I look at it is that (as someone else mentioned) why would I take a risk? - you have to ask yourself what a risk-free life would look like, and whether it would have been worth living. You have to choose which risks you are willing to take for which rewards, but you simply cannot avoid all risk in your life other than by dying right now.

What Threat !!

But if it has actually happened to you then that threat is incredibly real.

It has happened to me but that isn't going to dictate the rest of my life or the lives of my children.

I'd never leave the house if I thought as you do.

In all fairness though even as a born and bred Landaaaner I always think first about heading to central - it’s making sure I have my trainers on , have a bottle of water and just heightened awareness

—unless I have been on the lash—

I won't be happy until I'm home tbh. I'm still going though.

Why? Life is too short to do something you don't enjoy?

If you are acting to 'protect your family' from a threat then you would never leave the house. In fact, you're more likely to get seriously hurt IN your house. It makes no sense.
London is amazing at Christmas OP. Absolutely wonderful. The lights are fab and the carols even better! Have a wonderful time. Oxford Street i'd avoid simply because it's sooooo busy - although selfridges windows are great - unless you're on the bus which you say you are so that's fine!

There's no way I would take my son to London or any big UK city anytime soon. If the terrorists have won, then so be it. I'm not risking my family for anything.

I take it therefore, Lucy, that you never let your family travel by car or walk anywhere near roads with traffic on? Because that's a bigger risk by a factor of several hundred.

Don't cancel. DP and I have been going up to London regularly and we will continue to do so.

We are travelling on train, tubes and buses and it is busy, busy everywhere.

Enjoy your trip to London :)

It has happened to me. I've sought help for my anxiety issues. I'm better now.
These threads are always the same. Op asks for advice on whether or not to go. Lots of posters tell them to go. Op comes back and reveals anxiety. Other people with anxiety show up and agree with op.
If you don't feel comfortable going then stay at home. Seek help for your anxiety. Your life will be so much easier.

full The kids want to go, we've got ballet tickets, and I'll screw them up with anxiety if I scrap our plans. I might need a stiff drink to get me through it.

No one can eliminate risk from their lives. If you feel anxious about going to London, well, either get some help with anxiety, or don't book stuff there.

You asked whether it was unreasonable. Vast majority of people, plus very clear statistical evidence: yes, fucking unreasonable.

OP: I don't care. I'm anxious.

Fine. Why bother asking then?

It just perpetuates the idea that these fuckwits are actual proper terrorists. Stop harping on about these inadequates and their shitty attacks.

Absolutely insane not to take kids to a city, but to let them cross the road, travel by car, learn to drive etc. What sort of thinking is that?!

I'm far more worried about drones dropping acid or disease on us than I am about terrorists on buses or tubes etc. And that shit will spread fast, so it won't matter where you are!

For the posters who won't consider any big city- have you thought at all what impact your hysteria could be having on your DC?

By refusing to go certain places they will be associating big cities with risk and danger- just think how narrow that could make their future.

Speaking as someone who was given a crippling fear of flying by my mother (all planes are dangerous, we're going to crash, terrorists on every corner blah blah) I can honestly say it massively affected me as an adult. And flying is something that's not essential for a lot of people, going to cities is going to be!

I really think parents need to lead the way with this, showing positivity and strength to DC rather than media led fear over a very tiny risk.

Output - that's exactly what my DP says. They'd love to cause carnage but they are inept and can't get their hands on anything really dangerous anyway.

I grew up in NI during the 70's and 80's..
I'm still her. You will be fine!

You are trying not to let your personal anxiety issues affect your children.
You have booked a trip, at a very emotive time of year, they are excited about it. Then you cancel. Are you going to lie about the reasons why? That is going to be very memorable for them, and not in a good way.
If you are trying to work on your issues, get counselling and try activities on your own that don’t impact negatively on your children if you can’t cope. Otherwise, you will pass your fears on.

DD and DS1 are planning on learning to drive next year. Now that is a terrifying thought for me.

The way I look at it is that (as someone else mentioned) why would I take a risk?

Because you take risks. Every day. They are part and parcel of life. You just don't realise it and think about them all as part of the same rational framework. If you don't go to London, you'll go out somewhere else? In your car? Higher risk. If you go to get some food from the supermarket instead of the tea you were going to have, you take a risk. You could be run over in the car park. You could be killed by a badly placed tin of beans falling on your head. You stay in? Your house could suffer a catastrophic collapse. A light aircraft could crash into your roof etc etc.

I'm actually not being flippant. The risk of being in a terrorist attack in London is tiny. So is the risk that a plane lands on your house. The risk of being run over by a car in London? Much greater. Which is why road safety for kids is important. Risk of having your handbag nicked? Greater still. Keep an eye on it.

We should assess all our decisions in a rational way. To focus on one unlikely event and ascribe to it some misguided probability is irrational. Please don't worry. Go out and have a lovely day with your family.