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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really angry with dh

99 replies

Animalfarmfan · 20/12/2017 19:53

So dh works full time. I work very part time around caring for our 3 dds.
Dd3 still has toileting accidents. She clearly had one this evening as I was cooking dinner. I could hear dh ask her when she had the accident. Although he didn't know I could hear.
I carried on cooking believing dh was dealing with it.
When I served dinner I was surprised to seeds still in wet clothes. By this time dh had gone to to his Christmas party.
Aibu to think this is laziness at best and neglect at worse.

OP posts:
ILoveMillhousesDad · 20/12/2017 20:34

This post has made me so angry Angry

I hate him.

LizzieSiddal · 20/12/2017 20:34

Unless he's got form for being a twat, I'd just assume he'd forgotten to get her changed.

Lizzie48 · 20/12/2017 20:35

My DH would have called me as well. He never knows where to find our DDs' clean clothes or pyjamas. But he certainly wouldn't have just left.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 20/12/2017 20:35

Ignore the lock the prick out comments.
That could backfire on you massively, especially if he is on the tenancy it's illegal!

I would most definitley be sending a message or giving him a phone call.

Kentnurse2015 · 20/12/2017 20:37

Don't message him
Now. Discuss it tomorrow

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 20/12/2017 20:38

It would have been better to undress her and leave her semi naked than do nothing. You need to talk about his neglectful behaviour tomorrow.

tumblrpigeon · 20/12/2017 20:39

Discuss it calmly tomorrow

shakeyourcaboose · 20/12/2017 20:39

@IloveMillhousesdad me too, that poor wee girl, knowing that her dad knew and he did fuck all!

Insomnibrat · 20/12/2017 20:43

Selfishness and laziness in action.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 20/12/2017 20:43

Who does that?! Seriously

Poor dd. Hope she's ok. At four they're old enough to feel embarrassed after an accident.

I'm so upset for your dd.
Unfuckingforgivable behaviour

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 20/12/2017 20:44

What is going on with these men calling you? What would they do if you were out?? How can a grown man with a brain not know where to find his own children’s clothes? Confused I’m assuming these men hold down jobs etc?

LizzieSiddal · 20/12/2017 20:44

I'm rather confused at some of the replies.

Yes, if this man deliberately left his dd in wet clothes that's horrible. But how do you know he wasn't rushing about and forgot? Confused
I don't know a single parent who's never been forgetful and made a stupid mistake. I know I have. Thank god my Dh didn't react like some of you on here are suggesting Hmm

AnnieAnoniMouse · 20/12/2017 20:45

Unless he's got form for being a twat, I'd just assume he'd forgotten to get her changed

What?

He asked her when it happened. That’s when you take them immediately, shower them off & put them in nice clean PJ’s. You don’t leave a wee soaked 4 year old to get sore skin & wee on the sofa etc.

He’s a complete twat AnimalFarmFan and generally a lazy, ‘not exactly hands on’ Dad, why exactly are you putting up with it?

It would be the straw. I’d text him. ‘Don’t come home tonight, or any night. Leaving DD3 in her wee soaked clothes is the final straw. I’m done. I will call you Friday to make arrangements for you to see the children over Christmas, that’s if you can even be bothered’.

Life as a single parent is hard work, but it’s less hard than living with a lazy, ‘hands off’ twat, who thinks little wifey should just crack on with everything.

BackInTheRoom · 20/12/2017 20:45

Can I say typical man or will I get shit?

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 20/12/2017 20:45

He never knows where to find our DDs' clean clothes or pyjamas.

Really? What a feeble excuse.

GlitteryFluff · 20/12/2017 20:46

Definitely talk to him about it
Might be better to wait til he’s home, or in the morning if he’s drinking tonight though.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 20/12/2017 20:48

My DH would have called me as well. He never knows where to find our DDs' clean clothes or pyjamas

FMD. How the actual fuck does he not know where to find her clean clothes or pyjamas? Do you live in a maze? Are they not, you know, in drawers/wardrobe in her bedroom?

But he certainly wouldn't have just left

....well, that’s ok then.

For fuck sake.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 20/12/2017 20:53

I see the lock him out crew have arrived.What lock him out house he probably co-owns?
It’s provocative, and what’s gained in him temporarily not getting in?
Stopping an owner accessing their own property,that’s illegal

AnnieAnoniMouse · 20/12/2017 20:54

bibbdee if the ‘typical man’ you know would leave a 4 year old in wee soaked clothes, I suggest you make some new friends & sort your relatives out. I can, hand n heart, say I know about 3 out if a good h7ndred men that would do this and they are all monumental fuckwits who my friends would be far better off without. Even my ‘lazy as the day is long’ cousin would, at the very least, tell her go and get changed or tell his wife their DD ‘needs sorting out’.

It’s not just a ‘one off’ the OP has said that’s he’s ‘not exactly hands on’.

LizzieSiddal · 20/12/2017 20:55

Well I once put my baby in her care seat at 3 months old. I then FORGOT to strap her in. I drive home, around 2 miles then had a complete melt down when I realised what I'd done.

Luckily my Dh comforted me rather than locking me out! Parents do stupid things, sometimes.

LizzieSiddal · 20/12/2017 20:55

Meant to add, I would SPEAK to your H before assuming he's a nasty cunt.

BackInTheRoom · 20/12/2017 20:57

@AnnieAnoniMouse

I see enough posts on MN about lazy men tbh. Isn't there also The Mental Load?

JaneEyre70 · 20/12/2017 20:57

I'd get all of his pants and trousers together, and drop them into a bath full of water overnight. Then when he's looking in the morning, say you thought he liked wet things seeing as he was happy to leave his daughter in them.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 20/12/2017 20:58

lizzie but talking would be the reasonable thing to do wouldn't it? Where's the fun in that for some of these poster, they obviously think he deserves the firing squad and for divorce papers too be served ASAP.

LizzieSiddal · 20/12/2017 20:59

Ffs that is getting hysterical now.