Most over used phrases and sayings in AIBU?

[FeelingGuiltyAlready]

I offer up:

Get a grip

Keep your beak out

I feel sorry for your children

You sound like a bit of a cunt

AIBU?
YANBU?
YABU?

LTB

LTB is in Relationships surely?

Narc

No is a complete sentence

And you had children with this man why???

(Lighthearted)

Batshit crazy

Tinkly laugh (as part of crappy advice: "Say x and then give a tinkly laugh")

You have a DH problem

It's an invitation, not a summons

Get a grip

Go NC

Personal favourites - Are you on glue??
Off you pop, cuntychops!
Fuck off to the far side of fuck, and when you get there, fuck off some more!
I'm fond of naice ham, but I don't think that's very AIBU.

Wow. Just wow.
I hate that one.

Laughed so hard I spat my tea/coffee on the keyboard.

Name changed.

DH has a hobby. I can't say what as it would be outing.

DH works very long hours.

Bloody hell bullet i was coming on to say that

That was to bullet btw it's not a phrase or saying!

^^this

^^ this times a million

Oh yes, I absolutely loathe "wow just wow".

I honestly don't understand why AIBU is such a bear pit. If someone is so unsure that they feel moved to ask the question, then that suggests there is some doubt in their mind. So usually the situations are quite subtle really.

Another one is YADDDNBU! Too much of that bollocks.

“I would be spitting with rage” (loosely translated as “I would probably roll my eyes once and ignore it”)

Report to 101/council

"You should nip this in the bud" - usually said after a poster says her partner has been a total cunt to her for about 12 years or has just been found out shagging her sister for the last six months.

"You dodged a bullet there" - usually said after a poster has had to throw out her partner of several years and father of her 5 children after he has had an affair/has confessed to drug habit/revealed bigamous marriage in Kettering.

On these threads you never want to be the pedant asking if the poster fully understands either phrase, because it's often in the context of a thread where the OP is genuinely seeking advice, but still. #deepbreaths

(This is what this thread is for, right?)

Poor kid

Nope. It was most overused on AIBU, not most annoying on Mumsnet. Sorry.