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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would a psychiatrist really be shagging a patient?

105 replies

JenniferL90 · 20/12/2017 12:23

Because apparently a friend of mine is deeply in love with hers and they have great sex.....a lot.

I find it really hard to believe (isn't it really common for someone to fall in love with psychiatrists etc) but she's off numerous times a week to meet him. Sneaking about etc.

She's married and he's apparently getting married next year. (But out of duty and apparently he doesn't have sex with the woman he's marrying......)

It just seems so unlikely.

I do daydream about sending either her husband or the psychiatrist a letter outing it all. But I think I'm the only person who knows and I don't want to be a part of the fallout.

OP posts:
Zarathrustra · 20/12/2017 12:25

Trolling.

Or complaint ASAP to the NMC and relevant NHS trust

Original poster
JenniferL90 · 20/12/2017 12:26

I do really want to. But what if she's making it up and he gets fired etc?

Or if she's not making it up - then I'm the reason a family breaks up. And a guy loses his job.

OP posts:
twiney · 20/12/2017 12:26

I guess like anything, it could be possible

shouldnthavesaid · 20/12/2017 12:27

My cousin married his. She helped him transition f to m. But that was 40 years ago and in a different country .. she remained a psychiatrist and by all accounts they enjoyed a wonderful marriage, very well respected in their community.

I'm guessing your friend is probably very unwell though.

BulletFox · 20/12/2017 12:27

George Osborne's brother did

BertieBotts · 20/12/2017 12:27

Erm, no, HE would be the reason his family broke up and he lost his job.

Copperkettles · 20/12/2017 12:29

I'd absolutely believe it. It would be appalling behaviour on the psychiatrist's part but people abuse their positions all the time. He needs reporting. If she's delusional, it'll become apparent v quickly. He's potentialpy taking advantage of someone vulnerable

iklboo · 20/12/2017 12:31

The NMC is nurses not psychiatrists. That would be the GMC if he's a doctor or HCPC if a psychologist. But you need to be more sure she's not romanticising or delusional. The regulators will need more details than 'my friend says she's shagging her psychiatrist'.

x2boys · 20/12/2017 12:31

Well it definatley shouldn't be happening but I have known a couple of mental health nurses that have had affairs with their patients(one was dismissed for it)

Original poster
JenniferL90 · 20/12/2017 12:31

It would be her family I don't want to have a hand in tearing apart.

I think she's going to eventually do that herself.

But - if this really is true - the psychiatrist certainly won't stay with her. She's going to be completely out on her arse.

OP posts:
RestingGrinchFace · 20/12/2017 12:32

It sounds a little bit far fetched-is she seeing the psychiatrist because she is a compulsive liar by any chance?

x2boys · 20/12/2017 12:34

If she is making it it will become apparent I imagine, he would be suspended whilst there was investigation .

x2boys · 20/12/2017 12:35

It up*

Zarathrustra · 20/12/2017 12:36

You’re right Iklboo - typo on my part.

Further evidence would be ascertained in the investigation. If a patient discloses they are having a sexual relationship with their doctor it is to be reported.

Zarathrustra · 20/12/2017 12:37

Interesting how stereotypes of MH patients are being rolled out here.

Seems #metoo doesn’t apply to MH service users

BadFeminist · 20/12/2017 12:38

My psych was old af and wore socks with sandals. He didn't even carry any old people sucky sweets.

Some women get all the luck

Original poster
JenniferL90 · 20/12/2017 12:39

No not a compulsive liar - to my knowledge, I guess she could be a be really good at it!

They know each other socially (same hobby group) and their partners even know each other from meeting at parties etc. Awkward......

I guess my life is just super boring, in my mind stuff like this only goes on on TV.

OP posts:
GetOutOfMYGarden · 20/12/2017 12:40

If he is then it's a sackable offence. GMC would be very interested to hear about it.

x2boys · 20/12/2017 12:43

If they know each other socially he really shouldn't be her psychiatrist it would be a conflict of interest surely? It wouldnt have happened in the mental health trust I worked in I don't think.

BadFeminist · 20/12/2017 12:44

They know each other socially (same hobby group) and their partners even know each other from meeting at parties etc. Awkward......

Well surely that makes it a very different story. She's having an affair with a friend then and is calling him her therapist so she can fuck him without raising suspicion.

astoundedgoat · 20/12/2017 12:45

If it's true, then he is abusing a vulnerable patient - and should be reported.

If it's not true, then she is putting his reputation at risk by telling all and sundry that she is engaged on this torrid romance with a medical professional - and it should be reported.

It's more a case of reporting to the Medical Council, not a spouse.

crunchymint · 20/12/2017 12:46

You need to report this. If she is making it up the psychiatrist and boss needs to know as they need to take steps to protect the psychiatrist. If she is not making it up the psychiatrist is taking advantage of very vulnerable people. Please, please report.

lalalalyra · 20/12/2017 12:49

They know each other socially (same hobby group) and their partners even know each other from meeting at parties etc. Awkward......

Did they know each other before he began treating her or after?

It doesn't sound right at all. But it could be that he's not her psych at all and that's just a cover for their affair.

GrandDesespoir · 20/12/2017 12:49

I do really want to. But what if she's making it up and he gets fired etc?

Why would he be fired if she's making it up? I don't imagine they would take simply take his word for it.

Dozer · 20/12/2017 12:52

Allegations of a MH professional behaving this way should be passed to their employer and professional body for them to investigate. You would be acting unethically by not reporting.

Think, for example, of his other (current and future) vulnerable clients.