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Original poster

Would a psychiatrist really be shagging a patient?

105 replies

JenniferL90 · 20/12/2017 12:23

Because apparently a friend of mine is deeply in love with hers and they have great sex.....a lot.

I find it really hard to believe (isn't it really common for someone to fall in love with psychiatrists etc) but she's off numerous times a week to meet him. Sneaking about etc.

She's married and he's apparently getting married next year. (But out of duty and apparently he doesn't have sex with the woman he's marrying......)

It just seems so unlikely.

I do daydream about sending either her husband or the psychiatrist a letter outing it all. But I think I'm the only person who knows and I don't want to be a part of the fallout.

OP posts:
Timetogetup0630 · 20/12/2017 12:52

OK so Shen is your friend and she has told you this ?
So first you need to clarify that it's true.
And then if they do have a Professional/ Patisnt relationship you need to spell out to her the implications of someone blowing the whistle and reporting him. It's a huge breech of professional ethics.
Someone else will notice eventually.

VladmirsPoutine · 20/12/2017 12:55

I've watched a programme similar to this scenario before.

chirpyburbycheapsheep · 20/12/2017 12:59

Why do people find it hard to believe this could happen? I agree with Zara. This is why people with mental health problems are particularly vulnerable to abuse (and an 'affair' with a psychiatrist is classed as abuse due to the power imbalance and other issues) because if they speak out they can be called, well, basically, 'crazy' (compulsive liar, fantasist etc).

I have had very bad experiences with therapists and psychiatrists. I was also assaulted by a consultant (not mental health but physical). Pyschiatrists are people - there are good ones and bad ones.

VioletCharlotte · 20/12/2017 12:59

The be honest, unless your friend is vulnerable, I don't think it's your business to report him.

If it was my friend, I'd express my concern to them that he was abusing his position of trust and could be in serious trouble. Beyond that, I'm of the view that they're adults and it's up to them what they do.

And be there to pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 20/12/2017 13:02

In this world anything can happen, so I wouldn't be surprised.
However if he's found out he'll be sacked and struck off

KitKat1985 · 20/12/2017 13:02

I work in mental health services.

It is fairly common for patients to fall in love with their psychiatrists, and some have been known to become delusional and believe their psychiatrist also loves them and create elaborate fantasies based on this.

HOWEVER, I have very sadly also seen cases of mental health staff abusing their position and having relationships with patients. It's really, really rare but it does happen.

sourpatchkid · 20/12/2017 13:03

I'm with Zara - I've no idea why people don't believe those with mental health problems. Many mental health professionals are great, some are unboundaried arseholes.

Noofly · 20/12/2017 13:04

One of my cousins was a psychiatrist and he did sleep with one of his patients and ended up marrying her! He did lose his license in the process... (was in the US)

GetOutOfMYGarden · 20/12/2017 13:04

One of three scenarios is going on:

  1. The psychiatrist is diddling one of his patients, which is sexual misconduct due to the power imbalance, and a sackable offence. He needs reporting to the GMC if this is the case.
  1. She isn't actually his patient, that's her cover for their affair and why she's meeting with him. In this case, she needs speaking to because she's putting his job at risk with the shit she's telling you. If she's woman enough to admit an affair to you, she should be woman enough to tell you that this 'patient' bit is a lie.
  1. She's completely bullshitting.
Copperkettles · 20/12/2017 13:06

I don't think it's up to the op to establish if it's true or not. A report would lead to an investigation. It would be keeping his other patients safe. A good doctor would understand why a report had been made. People absolutely do abuse their positions.

x2boys · 20/12/2017 13:07

I was a mental health nurse for years I have known of mental health nurses having affairs with patients I have never known a psychiatrist too however , so I know it could happen but the consequences of the affair being found it would be massive e.g. dismissal and being struck off I would say it absolutely could happen but it would be rare imo .

old0wl · 20/12/2017 13:13

It seems unlikely but who knows? What is your friend being treated for, could she be living in a fantasy and over projecting onto her doctor?

In most cases the psychiatrist would have far too much to lose to even contemplate such a thing but as a pp said people abuse trust and power all the time so perhaps she is telling the truth?

retirednow · 20/12/2017 13:14

Does he know she has said these things? he has a right hasn't he to a 'fair trial'. Perhaps it would be better if she didn't see him anymore, for both their sakes.

mindutopia · 20/12/2017 13:20

Unfortunately, yes, this happens more than you would think. I definitely know a couple people who have worked in mental health care (privately, not that it matters, but I suspect there is a lot less oversight and supervision) who have have sexual relationships with patients in their care. Not saying it's ethical or right, it's not, but it happens more than you would expect it would. Unless she has a history of being delusional (no idea what you know of her mental health background), then I would assume it's true, though quite reckless of them and obviously highly unethical on his part. I don't know what I would do about it though if I suspect it's true, probably depends on how vulnerable I thought she was.

Foodylicious · 20/12/2017 13:24

Not suggesting you start stalking your friend , but do the times a dates she is 'meeting' and having this affair seem plausible?
Do you have any reason to think she is unwell at the moment?

Or other reason not to take it at face value?

AcrossthePond55 · 20/12/2017 13:28

IF this is true, then chances are she isn't the only one. Chances are he is abusing other patients this way.

He needs to be reported.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2017 13:31

Sounds like a cover story to me and I bet he will be thrilled to find out that his bit on the side is telling you he is her therapist, knowing full well what he stands to lose if/when it comes out. And it will because you wont be the only person she has told.

Personally I think you should report it.

If it is a genuine doctor/patient affair then he should be stopped from practising. And either way, his fiancee and her husband deserve to know whats happening. A woman is currently excitedly planning her wedding ignorant of the fact that she is marrying a cheating cunt.

DeepanKrispanEven · 20/12/2017 13:35

The be honest, unless your friend is vulnerable, I don't think it's your business to report him.

Surely be definition virtually anyone who needs to see a psychiatrist regularly is vulnerable?

OP, do you know the official reason why your friend is seeing this one?

Emmageddon · 20/12/2017 13:43

If he's part of her friendship group, he shouldn't be treating her. He certainly shouldn't be shagging her but is she simply saying he's her shrink as an excuse to see him?

The GMC would be very interested if this is actually happening.

DentalDilemma · 20/12/2017 13:46

I'm with Violet and think you should stay out of it unless your friend is actually vulnerable. Not everyone who sees a psychiatrist is vulnerable IMO, for example I only go to get my ADHD medication.

BadFeminist · 20/12/2017 13:47

Surely be definition virtually anyone who needs to see a psychiatrist regularly is vulnerable?

Ugh. Really?

Welcome to mental health stigma. Such fun.

Zarathrustra · 20/12/2017 13:49

In a safeguarding sense MH service users are classed as ‘vulnerable’.

Hence DBS checks.

And not fucking your patients

VladmirsPoutine · 20/12/2017 13:49

Ugh. Really?

@BadFeminist Yes. You don't regularly visit a doctor unless there is a need. Psychiatrists aren't counsellors or psychologists.

Lily2007 · 20/12/2017 13:50

I would believe her, it does happen and can't see what incentive she has to lie - saying she's cheating on her husband doesn't exactly make her look great.

People tend to assume if a man has a respectable job he won't cheat but I know from personal experience some of them make propositions (which I've always turned down). For some reason some women tend not to believe you if the man has certain jobs and just say as he's x that can't be true, its very odd. I even have one in writing which would have lost him his job, actually the guy did lose his job in a day so maybe someone found the work version or I wasn't alone.

BulletFox · 20/12/2017 13:51

I've never actually got the term vulnerable. Vulnerable to what? Other people taking advantage?

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