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Original poster

Would a psychiatrist really be shagging a patient?

105 replies

JenniferL90 · 20/12/2017 12:23

Because apparently a friend of mine is deeply in love with hers and they have great sex.....a lot.

I find it really hard to believe (isn't it really common for someone to fall in love with psychiatrists etc) but she's off numerous times a week to meet him. Sneaking about etc.

She's married and he's apparently getting married next year. (But out of duty and apparently he doesn't have sex with the woman he's marrying......)

It just seems so unlikely.

I do daydream about sending either her husband or the psychiatrist a letter outing it all. But I think I'm the only person who knows and I don't want to be a part of the fallout.

OP posts:
x2boys · 20/12/2017 13:56

Mental health covers a broad spectrum and some people with mental health issues will be more vulnerable then others but regardless of wether the ops friend is classed as vulnerable or not a psychiatrist should never start a relationship with one of his patients .

BadFeminist · 20/12/2017 14:00

Yes. You don't regularly visit a doctor unless there is a need. Psychiatrists aren't counsellors or psychologists.

That doesn't mean you are by default vulnerable.

You're making a very sweeping and quite offensive statement.

VladmirsPoutine · 20/12/2017 14:02

That doesn't mean you are by default vulnerable.

That's exactly what it means.

Zarathrustra · 20/12/2017 14:02

‘Vulnerable’ in a safeguarding sense badfeminist, not in a ‘helpless victim’ sense.

It’s a clumsy word but it’s used to denote a duty of care

steff13 · 20/12/2017 14:17

I would consider the patient vulnerable due to the imbalance of power. A psychiatrist is in a position to potentially have a lot of control over the patient. A person relies on her psychiatrist in a way she doesn't on any other person.

He shouldn't be involved with her at all outside of the doctor patient relationship. I'd report it, and let the appropriate professional body look into it.

trulybadlydeeply · 20/12/2017 14:24

A psychiatrist I worked with for a time was eventually struck off for inappropriate relationships with patients (well documented in the press). It can and does happen.

I would definitely report to the GMC. If there is nothing going on, then great. If there is, then he really should not be practising. This is probably not the first time he has done it either.

TeaAndAMarmiteSandwhich · 20/12/2017 14:27

Probably !

DeepanKrispanEven · 20/12/2017 15:37

What's stigmatising about being vulnerable in this context, Bad Feminist? The rule about doctors having affairs with patients is predicated on the assumption that they are in a unique position to take advantage of people who trust them when they are at their most vulnerable. Plus what stef said.

LagunaBubbles · 20/12/2017 15:41

That doesn't mean you are by default vulnerable.

Of course it does - the very definition of a relationship between a patient and a Doctor, Nurse etc means someone is vulnerable to the abuse of power that may occur (rarely thankfully).

BadFeminist · 20/12/2017 15:41

Because OP has already stated that the psychiatrist is actually her friends friend.

Which would lead me to believe that they were probably shagging before she became his "patient" and probably is only his "patient" because it means they can shag regularly.

And as someone who has been under psychiatry care, there's a very broad spectrum and it doesn't render you vulnerable.

crunchymint · 20/12/2017 15:42

Of course a patient being treated by a psychiatrist is vulnerable. The psychiatrist is in a position of power and often knows lots of things about the patient that many others will not know. That power relationship makes the patient vulnerable.

crunchymint · 20/12/2017 15:44

And a psychiatrist should not generally be treating someone they know as a friend. If it is unavoidable, that should be declared to their supervisor.

Please report this OP. It is very very wrong.

iklboo · 20/12/2017 15:49

If they were shagging before and she then became his patient it should still be reported to the GMC as an inappropriate relationship with a patient and / or treating somebody close to him. OP check the GMC's website or give them a call for advice.

RestingGrinchFace · 20/12/2017 15:59

Someone is definitely lying here. I don't believe for a minute that he would not sleep with his finance out of deference for her. Either she has made the whole thing up or he is lying to her. If she doesn't have form for lying is she perhaps very gullible? Something definitely isn't adding up.

Rudgie47 · 20/12/2017 16:11

I know 3 health care professionals who did have affairs/sex with their clients.
It happens.

x2boys · 20/12/2017 16:13

Pychiatrists dont generally get to chose who their patients are though Bad , In the trust i worked for it depended on where you lived and who your GP was as to who your Psychiatrist was [assuming it isnt a private Psychiatrist of course] And while yes i agree some patients will be very vulnerable and others not so much because the ,Psychiatrist is in a position of power he would be abusing his power to sleep with his patients

GerddwrEryri · 20/12/2017 16:14

If they are then the psych has massively overstepped the line!

Either that or she's attention seeking.

I say this as somebody who has seen three different psychiatrists over the last year. In my experience they have always been very caring but there is a clear professional boundary in place.

VladmirsPoutine · 20/12/2017 16:14

Because OP has already stated that the psychiatrist is actually her friends friend.

This doesn't expel vulnerability; in fact you could argue that it makes her even more susceptible to abuse ergo vulnerable.

Which would lead me to believe that they were probably shagging before she became his "patient" and probably is only his "patient" because it means they can shag regularly.

It is possible to shag someone without jeopardising your professional integrity. She could be under the care of any other psychiatrist if all they fancied was shag. And if this were the case the OP's friend would have achieved quite a remarkable feat in seeking and attaining psychiatric care in order to carry on engaging in clandestine liaisons.

And as someone who has been under psychiatry care, there's a very broad spectrum and it doesn't render you vulnerable.

You may not like it but in absolute terms it does render a patient/client/individual; entirely vulnerable. No-one is saying that MH isn't a broad spectrum, of course it is, but it undisputedly renders you vulnerable.

What aren't you grasping about this?

blackdoggotmytongue · 20/12/2017 16:25

Lol at all the excitement over the use of the word ‘vulnerable’. It’s emotive but only because people automatically consider it as a slur, not in the specific sense of safeguarding. It’s used for all sorts of groups.
As a social researcher, all military personnel are deemed ‘vulnerable’ and the study is subject to the same ethics requirements as any other vulnerable population (people with mental illness, children, etc). It’s about the potential for coercion and power imbalance, not a comment about an individual’s capacity or worth.
Ethics rules fascinate me.

Fanciedachange17 · 20/12/2017 16:26

Could a psychiatrist ever shag a patient? Hmm

Could a Catholic priest abuse choir boys?

Could a Judge be part of a child molesting group?

Could a policeman accept stolen goods?

Could an MP cheat on his/her expenses/spouse/colleagues?

Having an expensive education and a professional salaried career is no guarantee of perfect morals. Report. His name will be clear if he's innocent. If he's not - well it sends a loud message to others similarly tempted.

Sashkin · 20/12/2017 16:40

badfeminist All patients regardless of specialty are deemed vulnerable in terms of the power imbalance between them and their doctors/nurses. I can’t have sex with my dialysis patients because they may feel unable to say no in case I retaliate. Same with psychiatric patients - I hardly think that recognising this is stigmatising. Or would you say that no psychiatric patient would have any concerns whatsoever about pissing off their psychiatrist?

BadFeminist · 20/12/2017 16:50

Yeah, I know I've overreacted at the term vulnerable.
I'm probably just highly sensitive at the moment. I have anxiety and I can be a bit like a dog with a bone at certain times of the year, this being one.

My MH issues don't leave me vulnerable to a psychiatrist trying to fuck me, I'd rather fuck a cheese grater because my skin has felt like it's made of broken glass for the last two weeks. (Literally only on here as a distraction, terrible suggestion from a friend)

Apologies

ReturnOfTheMackYesItIs · 20/12/2017 17:12

Report to the GMC.

If you look at GMC hearings on line, plenty are of Drs and Psychiatrists having hearings due to 'inappropriate relationships' with patients.

A Psych I used to know is currently in prison...

DoculamentDoculament · 20/12/2017 17:22

It doesn't matter if the person deems themselves 'vulnerable' or not, the power imbalance creates a vulnerability of it's own.

And regardless, all Drs should not be having sexual relationships with patients or ex-patients. GMC and local NHS trust guidelines (if he works for the NHS) are always very clear about this.

He will KNOW this. He needs reporting to the GMC.

retirednow · 20/12/2017 19:19

Does her husband know about this, were they all friends and he just happens to be a psychiatrist. Cant you just call the local health authority or the GMC and ask them what you shoulds do with this information.