To be pissed off that “only children” are talked about so badly?

[AboutAGallonofDietCoke]

Tonight I saw yet another thread on a mummies group, talking about having another child in order to prevent (the curse of) their child becoming an only child.
Am I the only person who thinks it’s really not that bad, there’s actually loads of advantages to being an only child, and the child doesn’t normally care, they know no different.
The only people who seem worried about it are those with siblings?

I am an only child and growing up I had lots of comments normally along the lines of
“aww so sad you’re all on your own”
“ you must be really spoiled”
“Only children are weird”

What the hell do you say to that?

After I had my son I had people telling me “ you are going to have another aren’t you? you wouldn’t want them to be ON THEIR OWN!!l” like it’s the bloody plague.

Am I being unreasonable to think you wouldn’t talk about any other group like this? After all I had no say in my only child status, my mum had cancer when I was little and that’s was that. Why don’t people seem to realise how unpleasant it is?

My DD aged 6 is an only child and I’d say say that is one of the most confident, outgoing, bright and vivacious children I know (and yes, I may be very biased!)

I’m now expecting my second DC and have to say that it will be very interesting to see how she reacts to her being a sibling after so long as an ‘only’. I think in many ways, a big age gap will be great as she will have had our attention for long enough to be content and confident in herself - hopefully negating any rivalry issues too... 😂

I’m now an ‘only’ child too, but was a sibling before my DB passed away at a young age this year from cancer... In some ways, I had a very odd and not very close relationship with my late DB for many years, so I can say that yes, I had a brother, but it wasn’t the easiest relationship.

I hope my DD will be happier with her future sibling, all being well, but there are no guarantees of course.

It makes me sad that DS is destined to be an only. Not because I think there is anything wrong with it. I have siblings and so does DH. I want that for him. He's still little and I hope not spoilt.
I'd still love to give him a sibling but it looks like secondary infertility is a problem, coupled with age so we'd not get help

I’m an only child and love it. Have a v close and loving relationship with my parents. I find the idea of siblings really strange! But I always get told “you don’t seem like an only child”. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!

One advantage (maybe some would see it a disadvantage) of being an only child I've seen in my son is that he doesn't get over-invested in friendships. He's never had any "best friends" who he spends a lot of time with. Instead he's got literally loads of "friends", either in school, locally, online, sports, or his cadet group. He gets on with everyone it seems, but on a more superficial level rather than being close, so he doesn't have the teen dramas of being left out, who sits next to who, etc - he is very relaxed and just goes with the flow of whoever is around at the time.

Now i have 3 i can really see the appeal of one - as a parent. I feel really stretched and like i can't give each of them what they need. They are all at different stages. My friends with one can take that one swimming and do things focussed entirely on that one like go to the library etc. With 3 i'm just firefighting and we have to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

I often say i'd like each one to be my only so i could really enjoy them. I am in awe of those with big families who can give all their kids individual attention.

Weirdly my DC (who never really talks about being an only child), after spending the weekend with his cousins, said to me and DH on the way home yesterday ‘My friend X must have a complicated life because he has a brother AND a sister’ - DC’s cousins are just a total of 2 - ‘but my life is simple and quiet and peaceful because it is just me and you two which is what I like...except when I’m dancing.’ I’ve often thought over the years that he is the kind of child (introverted, imaginative) who in some way suits ‘only’ childdom, even though I would have had another child if I could because of my own wishes, so it was interesting to hear his own thoughts on it starting to emerge. I love my sibling but I think I would have suited being an only child too and would have liked many things about that dynamic.

It's very rude to judge someone for their family size. We have an only, I always wanted 3 but DH wasn't keen as he fought non stop with his siblings and once I discovered how hard parenting is I decided to stick with one too. He goes to nursery 4 days a week and is very sociable and confident and a fabulous sharer. We will probably be the house all his friends come to when he is at school and that's fine by me :)