Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you expect a school to respond?

110 replies

Methenyouplus4 · 17/12/2017 08:24

DC is 13. At lunch time at school, they were with friends getting lunch (with tray in hands). Another student (the same age) came and pulled the bottom half of their uniform down, leaving DC stood in their underwear in front of the vast majority of the school.

The other student had brought over about 7 other students specifically to watch them do this.

Would like to know how you would expect the school to respond to this?

DC said they don't really know other student (other than knowing their name and it being another student in year group). Thank you.

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 17/12/2017 09:08

If you feel that the school aren't dealing with this appropriately I would contact the safeguarding team at the local council.

I would do this after contacting the head teacher and chair of governors first though.

Original poster
Methenyouplus4 · 17/12/2017 09:10

I am going to speak to school on Monday to find out exactly from them what is happening.

Sadly, it was only when I threatened police action/ OFSTED with a previous incident this year that I got an appropriate response. Then it was very awkward as they had already given sanction and had to 'add' to it at a later date.

OP posts:
TheHeartOfTeFiti · 17/12/2017 09:11

In schools I’ve worked in it would have been a three day exclusion

Fairenuff · 17/12/2017 09:11

As this is a safeguarding matter, I would speak to the head and request a meeting urgently. Tell them that if this is not dealt with appropriately you will be contacting Offsted.

LokiBear · 17/12/2017 09:11

Green - of course you are allowed to suggest it. I've been a head of year for 10 years. You absolutely can tell a parent that it is their right to contact the police should they wish to do so and that the school will make available any information they have. The likelihood is that the police will talk to the perpetrator and give them a telling off from a legal standpoint, but advise that consequences are issued in line with the schools policy.

Original poster
Methenyouplus4 · 17/12/2017 09:12

Thank you. I will be doing that. I will speak with the head first thing Monday and take it from there. Thank you all. I will of course keep you all updated.

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 17/12/2017 09:12

Green ds had a knife pulled on him in class. School excluded externally for 2 days and police said “county commissioner gives schools power to deal with school situations”.

I’d also be firm with school and back everything up in writing.
Importantly ask them to put in writing how they are actively going to prevent your child being the victim of assault again.

I like the idea of making own suggestions - such as an assembly.

Fairenuff · 17/12/2017 09:13

Ah X post OP. This is why you need to move fast and make sure they understand that you will report to Ofsted.

Original poster
Methenyouplus4 · 17/12/2017 09:18

I feel the student should be externally (not internally) excluded.

If this doesn't happen, I will certainly be taking it further. Due to previous incident, I am starting to have serious doubts about the safety and wellbeing of DC at that school. I understand such incidents can happen anywhere, but response of school to violence/ assault seems to be so minimal that I believe it can't possibly be a deterrent/ send a clear message about what is acceptable.

DC wpuld be mortified by assembly. As I said, majority of school were there so they would know exactly who it is aimed at. I already imagine that going in on Monday will be very tough for them.

OP posts:
sashh · 17/12/2017 09:18

Bloody hell OP I'd be calling the police.

School should be taking this very seriously both for the victim and for the student who assaulted them.

One thing I would say to the school is, "What would you do if that happened to the head?" Why should sanctions for assault be any less because it is a student not a teacher?

The school have a duty of care, they are not caring.

Argeles · 17/12/2017 09:19

I’m so sorry to hear about this disgraceful assault on your child op.

I used to be a Secondary school Teacher, and some of the behaviour and issues I’d deal with on a frequent basis were frightful. I left one school mainly on the basis of the disgusting handling by Senior Management of poor behaviour and offences.

My advice would be to also contact your local authority, or Ofsted head office and make a complaint over the phone in the first instance. Tell them that you are seriously concerned about the safety of students in school name & location. You can remain anonymous if you wish, and just tell them you’re a concerned parent at the school and speak of a recent assault, and behaviour consequences, and that you fear for your child.

The school will get ‘a rocket up their arse,’ and hopefully this will trigger an improvement in their procedures.

Best wishes to your and your child.

Ceto · 17/12/2017 09:22

Get copies of the school's bullying, safeguarding and discipline policies and ask them exactly what steps they are taking to implement them.

Notevilstepmother · 17/12/2017 09:23

I think with that response and it not being the first time it might be time to look for a new school. You can fight or you can put your energy somewhere more positive.

Greenshoots1 · 17/12/2017 09:24

Green - of course you are allowed to suggest it. not in my school

C0untDucku1a · 17/12/2017 09:25

We occasionally have students from local schools in our inclusion unit and ours go to other schools. I think that is really affective as it shows how serious it is, it is effectively an exclusion rather than inclusion unit at own school and normal bus journeys, but theyre not at home lazing and watching tv. Which lets face it isnt a punishment for poorly behaved teens.

I would not expect the atudent tonbe back in class until their parents had been on for a meeting. Thats standard for serious stuff at my school too.

I would also be informing governors and ofsted. The council...

Greenshoots1 · 17/12/2017 09:26

Green ds had a knife pulled on him in class

and the school suggested a managed move... that is the top of the school sanction list - what more do you want?

BalloonSlayer · 17/12/2017 09:26

Sadly, it was only when I threatened police action/ OFSTED with a previous incident this year that I got an appropriate response. Then it was very awkward as they had already given sanction and had to 'add' to it at a later date.

Then they have been extremely foolish to be so slack when your child was assaulted on this occasion. They already know that you won't accept soft sanctions, why have they been lax again, what's the matter with them?

mookinsx · 17/12/2017 09:28

i wouldnt stand for anything less than a few days (at least) external suspension.
surely this could be considered as some kind of assult.
i hope your DC is okay

if the school aren't prepared to take things further contact the police - warn the school before hand
dont settle for this to be handled lightly

to be exposed when you aren't consenting and to then see the person who did it to you be hardly punished? unfair to say the least

Greenshoots1 · 17/12/2017 09:29

Sadly, it was only when I threatened police action/ OFSTED

these are not "threats" ofsted can't issue any sanctions at all, and most staff would be very glad for the police to take over dealing with a crime, it isn't a "threat" it is something staff WANT

lakeg · 17/12/2017 09:29

This would lead to the child being removed from the school. The investigation would take two days. But this is in Singapore

ItsInTheDogsMouth · 17/12/2017 09:32

Your poor daughter OP. I think sashh has made a good point, what punishment would there be if the perpetrator did that to the head teacher? It,s absolutely outrageous and i'd be tempted to report the incident to the police, it's what you'd do if it happened outside school, and if the school aren't dealing with it appropriately then I would escalate it. I'd also be asking for support for my DD and assurances that they will protect her in future.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 17/12/2017 09:32

Your poor dd. That lIght touch approach to assault is aka a serious safe guarding issue.

GrapesAreMyJam · 17/12/2017 09:33

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Gaelach · 17/12/2017 09:34

This is shocking! I hope it's dealt with appropriately.

Backingvocals · 17/12/2017 09:36

God how awful. Imagine if this was adults in the office - instant dismissal. It’s dreadful what children are expected to live with.