To draw a cock on DHs face

[Singlebutmarried]

Long story short

Been out for birthday

He organised for good friends to meet us for meal and kept it all secret.

He then got bladdered and announced to the pub that I ‘liked it bent over and had teeth’

Luckily I know the people at the pub well enough to brush it off, but I’m a bit kirtified at the same time.

He’s now passed out, and I’m sat mostly fuming. I’ve so far drawn one cock on his face, and am going to check in a bit to see if he’s swapped sides so I can draw another.

Is this unreasonable?

Shave his eyebrows!

addicted i think maybe get yourself a divorce for your birthday

I should have drawn it pointing towards mouth. The one I’ve drawn is spaffing in his ear.

Think i'd be tempted next time i'm going down on him to actually bite him and then say 'oh yes...i DO have teeth' with a wolfish grin.

If it's aiming towards his ear, could you incorporate an eyebrow as a massive sperm?

Draw them ALL OVER HIM.

We need a close up non identifying picture of your dh’s forehead 😂 please so we can critic the quality of your artwork

Paint his nails, put fake tan on the body parts you can see, shave his eyebrows off, if he has a beard put some hair removal cream on it, do make up on him, put false eyelashes on him and post a picture on SM so all his friends can see

Wanker

Draw a set of fanged teeth as well.

I would razor his eyebrows off and write "cunt" in fake tan lotion if you've got any to hand right across his forehead )Apply with a cotton bud for devastating accuracy)

Can you tell I once fantasised about doing this to my hideous ex

@Prosecco see you had the eyebrow idea too 😉

Awesome ideas.

Am currently buried beneath my faithful pooches so will venture upstairs again soon.

No way am I sleeping in the same bed tonight.

Plus he’s spark out in a Star fish pattern.

Oh the things I could do with an eyeliner pen

I genuinely have nothing to add to this thread other than I'm properly laughing at....

Think i'd be tempted next time i'm going down on him to actually bite him and then say 'oh yes...i DO have teeth' with a wolfish grin.

Only because the poster's NN is ItsInTheDogsMouth

Just do it but also use some lipstick to make a clown face.

Lying in bed reading this aloud to my dh and we are pudding ourselves laughing!!!

Pissing!! Not pudding!! 🤣

I do love him dearly but he’s proper cocked me off tonight.

Must be worth a KFC at least tmr right?

Also.... wouldn’t be the first time he’s woken up with cunt written in his forhead.

Actually, I nodded approvingly at the idea of the cock spaffing in his ear -- somewhat more inventive, I thought.
Love 'spaffing' too

tossy springs to mind get your own back regenge is sweet best served cold,...

Draw lots of them

Also write barrel of crusty wanksocks somewhere on his body.

Other phrases:

Jizztoad
Jizzcrumpet
Wankchariot
Pisswaffle
Spunkflute
Mingebat
Crotchgoblin
BATWANK.

Give him sharpie fangs. He clearly likes teeth, and envies yours. In fact, make them spaffing cock fangs, either side of his mouth.

I’m dying! 😂😂😂

Totally pissing myself laughing (and notnquietlymcos he’s drunk enough to sleep thru a nuclear fallout)

Thinking I might go and stick the (40kg) puppy in bed with him.

Does he look like this now OP?