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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu about taking home leftovers?

117 replies

WhyamIBoredathome · 16/12/2017 18:21

Ok, so as not to influence I won't say who I am.
Family member A invites member B and their family over for lunch.
Both families are made up of two adults and two children.
Person A does all the shopping and cooking for main course and nibbles.
Person B offers to bring dessert and spends time and effort making a Nigella cake recipe to bring.
Both families have a nice time and enjoy all the food. About a quarter of the cake is leftover.
On leaving Person B picks up the leftover cake to take it home. Person A's husband expresses surprise that they aren't leaving it behind. Person B takes cake as they cooked it so felt this is fair.

Who is being unreasonable?

Is person B right to take cake as they put time and effort into baking?
Or is person A right expecting cake to be left as they bought and cooked main course (everything got eaten) and hosted.

OP posts:
Thedietstartsnow · 16/12/2017 19:02

Wrong to take the cake home,very rude indeed

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 16/12/2017 19:04

You never bring home anything you’ve brought as a gift or contribution. You can take the tin home but not the cake.

Julie8008 · 16/12/2017 19:04

Also, even if you cant fit another slice of cake in your mouth, put a large slice of it on everyones your plate and play with it Grin

Julie8008 · 16/12/2017 19:06

oh that's a good idea, cut the cake up at home and just bring enough portions for 1 each.

AprilShowers16 · 16/12/2017 19:07

It is weird. Usually as the host I would offer and say ‘oh do you want to take the rest of your cake home’ and usually what happens is that person declines. It’s quarter of a cake tbh I couldn’t bring myself to care either way really

Lucked · 16/12/2017 19:08

Next time nip into the kitchen split the leftovers in two, wrap both in foil and leave hers on the side. Put yours away in a cake tin in a cupboard.
If asked you have kept some for your tea!

curryforbreakfast · 16/12/2017 19:09

Person B is exceptionally rude. But A's husband is also rude to have said anything,

nocoolnamesleft · 16/12/2017 19:10

Sorry, I'm struggling here. Wtaf are "cake leftovers"?!?!?

Ikabod · 16/12/2017 19:10

Person B must be my BIL. Brings an already open bottle of wine and wants to take home any leftovers (esp. unopened bottles of wine) on the way home. Thankfully he lives too far away to have over very often!

RainbowWish · 16/12/2017 19:15

Person B is totally BU.
Person A keeps the cake as a thank you for hosting.

HintBean · 16/12/2017 19:16

Person B is being seriously unreasonable.

It was bought as a gift for Person A. It is up to Person A what they choose do with it.

AmysTiara · 16/12/2017 19:17

Yep person B is unreasonable.

MillennialFalcon · 16/12/2017 19:18

Person B is BU, I would've thought the cake was a gift to the host and shouldn't be taken back.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 16/12/2017 19:19

Last Christmas I made a huge and gorgeous Christmas cake. My lot love Christmas cake, it is on of their Christmas highlights. Friends came to stay and brought a shitty Tesco value one that they had iced, and then made subtle remarks about theirs looking much nicer.

However, as everyone knows, it's not about how pretty a cake is, but how good it tastes, and over the next couple of days our lovely cake was comprehensively demolished by everyone, whilst theirs was ignored.

When they went, they wrapped up their cake and took it home with them.

They are coming this year and the kids have made me promise to hide our cake.

bellie710 · 16/12/2017 19:20

Only acceptable if Person B has brought it as a birthday cake for someone in her family.

Cantuccit · 16/12/2017 19:20

OP, if you can't beat them, join 'em - take your dessert home next time just to see how she reacts.

SwimmingInLemonade · 16/12/2017 19:31

Why not make a really small cake that only provides one slice per person? Grin

Lynnm63 · 16/12/2017 19:35

If cake was a birthday cake for one of B’s family or say a Gluten Free cake because someone inB family was intolerant it’d be acceptable to take the leftovers back home. Under any other circumstances B is unreasonable.
I’d have said point blank let’s share then we can both have some for tea whilst holding onto the cake plate with a vice like grip!

ObscuredbyFog · 16/12/2017 19:40

If it's lovely cake or pud, A should chop off a large portion of cake and hide it elsewhere in their kitchen to scoff later, then only leave a slice visible for B to take home. Xmas Grin

lurkingnotlurking · 16/12/2017 19:42

The cake is never taken back. Ever. Unless the other people really insist.

Motoko · 16/12/2017 19:42

I think you should take your leftovers home the next time you go to theirs. I know you said it would make you as bad as them, but I think for one time, to let them know how it feels, it would be acceptable.

EmilyChambers79 · 16/12/2017 19:52

Person B was unreasonable.

You are person B?

toomanycreambuns · 16/12/2017 19:52

If there is only a quarter of the cake left then person B should leave it.

If there was quite a bit more then it would be fair for them to take some home (but not all of it!).

newtlover · 16/12/2017 19:53

in all normal circs B is wrong
But maybe, if the cake is on a very precious plate, and it will be difficult for B to return for the plate?
Or, if there's a lot left over because (some of) A's family are allergic to/don't like the cake
Or, a third part has some investment in the cake (they grew the wheat, they invented the recipe) and want to know how it turned out
But A's husband was wrong to say anything

Kitsharrington · 16/12/2017 20:26

Person B is wrong. Cringingly wrong.