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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if someone doesn’t answer the door the first time you shouldn’t keep knocking?

101 replies

Timeforanamochango · 13/12/2017 10:13

I know trivial problem but I’m so pissed off. Have the day off today and have been expecting a parcel. Of course the parcel had to arrive at the time that I was in the middle of an important conference call with bosses and me doing the pitching so no way I could stop the call to open my front door!

I was taking the call in my living room that is by the front door and the postman rang the bell four times, I ignored it and then he starting banging and opened my letter box and could hear me talking.

He then disappeared but came back 2 minutes later and was banging again maybe 5/6 times and ringing the bell constantly!

Obviously if I was in a position to open my front door, I bloody would have the first time as now I have to wait till tomorrow and collect from post office.

AIBU to think you shouldn’t keep knocking and ringing a bell if someone doesn’t answer? I completely lost my train of thought on the call through it all and sounded like a bumbling idiot!

OP posts:
eenymeenymaccaracca · 13/12/2017 10:27

YANBU. This is rude and they should fuck off.

I may be slightly overreacting after an incident when DS was 6. I had flu and reckoned he was old enough to watch TV by himself while I went to bed for a nap. I explained to him that he should wake me for urgent stuff, but not trivial stuff, and if the doorbell went or the phone rang he should just ignore it.

Half an hour later some arse of a delivery guy rings furiously and repeatedly and won't go away when no answer. Pounds on door again and again. Poor DS comes to me in tears because it's really aggressive and scary. I drag myself downstairs, unfortunately too sick and feverish to bollock delivery guy as I would if in better health.

Parcel wasn't even for us. Was for next door, but they were out, so delivery guy wanted to leave it with us.

No nap for me while I comfort poor DS while coughing my lungs up.

Fuck you in perpetuity, delivery wanker, wherever you are.

Percephone · 13/12/2017 14:36

Oh yes, YANBU. I had this from Amazon delivery man the other day. He knocks on door, I immediately start getting up from my chair with 3 day old baby intending to put her down in her carry cot on my way to the door. Except now he has his finger on the doorbell and then starts pounding the door with his fist. Still pounding as I haul the door open. Bloody rude. At least he looked a bit scared when he saw my face.

catwoozle · 13/12/2017 14:37

YANBU. Very rude.

QuestionableMouse · 13/12/2017 14:39

I don't think delivery people can win to be honest.

ladystarkers · 13/12/2017 14:39

So annoying. I have several medical condidtions and nap mist days. Yes Im in but not available, go away.

stickytoffeevodka · 13/12/2017 14:50

YANBU, it's rude.

They should ring/knock once, maybe twice at a push. If nobody answers after a minute or so, they need to leave.

BUT I do get why they do it. I know a lot of them are self-employed and only get paid for successful deliveries, and with it being the run-up to Christmas, they must have loads of deliveries to complete by the end of their shift.

If the delivery companies treated their staff better, they maybe wouldn't feel the need to rush and try and get everything delivered ASAP.

Baaaaaaaaaaaa · 13/12/2017 14:54

Ha! Wish my delivery guy had been more like this. I’ve been in for the past two days and, on both days, a parcel was brought to my door but they knocked so quietly even my dog didn't hear. Here’s hoping we’ll hear tomorrow (with a big sign on the door to say we’re in, please knock LOUDLY).

They really can’t win, can they!

Hippee · 13/12/2017 14:54

He does sound a bit overenthusiastic (especially if he could hear you on the phone), but can you not stick a note on the door if you know that you are going to be busy for a while - and/or have a parcel box somewhere?

Aridane · 13/12/2017 14:54

I'm sure I read an identical thread to this the other week - must be the time of year for persistent postmen and conference calls

53rdWay · 13/12/2017 14:59

I had a delivery driver do this once when I was half-dressed and feeding a newborn with messy oversupply issues. BANG BANG BANG BANG, over and over again. Eventually struggled downstairs with screaming baby and milk all over my top, to find it was a parcel for our neighbours but their bell was broken. Was not amused.

Original poster
Timeforanamochango · 13/12/2017 15:00

It was Royal Mail so I don’t think they get paid per drop do they?

A note might work but even so, surely it is common decency to just knock and ring the bell and if no answer then leave the parcel outside or take it away - especially when it’s the season for Christmas tips. Wink

What’s a parcel box? Can you just put a plastic container by the door saying ‘parcels here’ ? That’s a really good idea as im not usually home!

And to make matters worse, he posted a letter through for the wrong address at the same time, which added to my anger as now I have to drive round to that house again and give them their post! Arghh

OP posts:
Lovestonap · 13/12/2017 15:05

I've put notes on the door after a night shift asking them not to knock and directing them what to do with parcel. You say you were expecting your parcel, you could have done that.

crazycatgal · 13/12/2017 15:09

I agree. Why do some people hammer so aggressively on the door after nobody has answered the first time?

strugglingtodomybest · 13/12/2017 15:10

I thought it was the done thing to put a note on your door if you're in but don't want to be disturbed?

Sorry, but I think YABU. You knew you were due a delivery and you knew you wouldn't be able to answer the door, so you should have planned ahead.

ElinoristhenewEnid · 13/12/2017 15:11

you were on a day off but taking a works conference call?

If that was a favour to your firm I would probably say would you mind if I just answer the door and come back to the call.

If not agree with lovestonap and leave a message if you knew you were not to be disturbed for part of the day

givemushypeasachance · 13/12/2017 15:13

My friend has nappies delivered from amazon and they come in boxes marked all over with "Pampers" branding. The other week I was at her house when a delivery person called at 8pm, ringing the doorbell three times and knocking in between in the minute or so it took for her OH to find the front door keys (the usual spare door key by the door had been misplaced). When he took the box he thanked her but pointed out that a nappy delivery was suggestive that there might be a young child in the house who'd be likely to be asleep at that time of night...

Splandy · 13/12/2017 15:14

No, they’re not paid per delivery. My dad is a postman and has been unable to deliver for the past two days because the conditions were too dangerous and he will not be covered in the event of an accident if he has made the choice to go out in it. He’s now under pressure to clear the backlog. As far as I’m aware, in his office this morning the plan was that they would immediately go out and deliver parcels as a priority above other things, so they don’t want them brought back. It is an odd thing to do so I imagine he’s just feeling the pressure.

Vernazza · 13/12/2017 15:24

Splandy the Hermes drivers I believe are paid per order. OP I feel your pain but next time you have a conference call and a parcel possibly arriving, maybe put a note on your front door asking delivery person to leave it in a safe place, with a neighbour, etc.

SquirrelPlantedBeech · 13/12/2017 15:27

Me too, Aridane. How odd.

FairyDogMother11 · 13/12/2017 15:29

I had this a couple of weeks ago, both me and DP on nights, Saturday morning at 8am I hear banging on the door ridiculously aggressively. I would have ignored it but I have two loud dogs so didn't want to wake the neighbours and inconvenience them. The bloody parcel wasn't even for us but for next door. And to make it worse he'd not waited to see if they'd answer before knocking at ours so as I opened my door all bleary eyed, my neighbour came out of her house to take in her parcel...Angry

HamishBamish · 13/12/2017 15:32

I can sympathise OP. I work from home too and if I'm on a client call I can't just leave to answer the door! Unfortunately I don't think people always understand and keep knocking/ringing if they see the light on. Not a lot you can do OP unless you leave a note on the door to leave the parcel in a safe place (e.g- recycling bin). I just think people are keen to get everyone's mail to them at this time of year and might be a bit over zealous thinking they are being helpful.

At least it's not as bad as my last house when my elderly downstairs neighbour walked in (my back door was open as it was summer) and I was mid flow when I looked up to see him standing in my office door. I still get reminded about that one!

Shattered04 · 13/12/2017 15:34

At a bit of a tangent, but we have a huge box called an iBin that is bolted to the outside of our house. It has a PIN to access it, which we put in the "delivery options" section of any order, or even in the address itself.

We've had it maybe two years and it's only been the last few weeks (seasonal temps I'm guessing) where one or two couriers didn't use it and took the parcel back with them.

They come in different sizes. They're not cheap, but in terms of avoiding awkwardness with neighbours and trips to depots, it's been priceless.

Thedriftofstars · 13/12/2017 15:39

Definitely read this the other week. Identical wording. Confused

Original poster
Timeforanamochango · 13/12/2017 15:47

I’m going to look into delivery boxes. I think it must be the time of year, I’ve never had issues before like this.

It’s also been snowing here so I don’t think we’ve had post for a few days so that probably adds to why he might have been frustrated!

Must be a common issue then, I certainly haven’t posted twice this only happened this morning!

OP posts:
Pinkpowerofthought · 13/12/2017 15:48

You ordered a parcel and his job is to deliver it. He could hear and or see you and you ignored him. Perhaps he thought you were deaf as we do deal with a lot of deaf customers or maybe he was an arse who didn't like being ignored.
If you don't answer then he has to carry around with him in his bag at the busiest time of the year along with everyone else's. It's frustrating. You could have answered the door and just took it from him carrying on with your call or you could have left a note on the door saying to leave in a specific place.
He even came back to try your door again as he knew you were in.
Speaking as a postie....there is nothing more annoying being ignored, usually though you put the card through and they chase you down the street. Infuriating.