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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if someone doesn’t answer the door the first time you shouldn’t keep knocking?

101 replies

Timeforanamochango · 13/12/2017 10:13

I know trivial problem but I’m so pissed off. Have the day off today and have been expecting a parcel. Of course the parcel had to arrive at the time that I was in the middle of an important conference call with bosses and me doing the pitching so no way I could stop the call to open my front door!

I was taking the call in my living room that is by the front door and the postman rang the bell four times, I ignored it and then he starting banging and opened my letter box and could hear me talking.

He then disappeared but came back 2 minutes later and was banging again maybe 5/6 times and ringing the bell constantly!

Obviously if I was in a position to open my front door, I bloody would have the first time as now I have to wait till tomorrow and collect from post office.

AIBU to think you shouldn’t keep knocking and ringing a bell if someone doesn’t answer? I completely lost my train of thought on the call through it all and sounded like a bumbling idiot!

OP posts:
oliveinacampervan · 13/12/2017 15:50

@Timeforanamochango

YABVU. You were expecting the parcel, you knew someone would be knocking the door, and you knew you would be disturbed for a moment.

FGS it wouldn't have taken more than a minute to answer the door. Poor delivery man. Sad Their job is hard enough as it is, without precious, awkward people refusing to answer the door when they are obviously in! They have deadlines, and don't need people wasting their time!

And you ended up being way more disturbed by the poor man knocking and banging than you would have if you had just answered the bleeding door!

And the fact you say 'I couldn't possibly tear myself away from my very important conference call' shows that you clearly think you, (and your job,) are more important than the menial delivery driver and his job. Hmm

And now you are moaning about having to go collect the package from the sorting office tomorrow! WTF?! Confused

What a ridiculous way to behave OP! Hmm

And yes, many delivery drivers are paid per delivery. Don't pretend this doesn't happen, to try and justify your ridiculous behaviour.

@fairydogmother11

I had this a couple of weeks ago, both me and DP on nights, Saturday morning at 8am I hear banging on the door ridiculously aggressively. I would have ignored it but I have two loud dogs so didn't want to wake the neighbours and inconvenience them. The bloody parcel wasn't even for us but for next door. And to make it worse he'd not waited to see if they'd answer before knocking at ours so as I opened my door all bleary eyed, my neighbour came out of her house to take in her parcel

Completely different situation to the OP.

And re the parcel box suggestions. Not much good if it needs signing for.

Aki99 · 13/12/2017 15:53

If we are home but cant answer the door we leave a note on the door with instructions ie. in garden so cant hear you knock - please drop parcel in box/come around the side - the gate is open etc

PersianCatLady · 13/12/2017 15:54

I'm sure I read an identical thread to this the other week
So I am, not a similar thread, an identical thread

Pinkpowerofthought · 13/12/2017 15:55

Oliveinacampervan so spot on!

SlothMama · 13/12/2017 15:55

YANBU
The local Jehovah Witnesses do it to me, they see me working and expect me to open the door. Which I won't because I don't want to speak to them.

Viviennemary · 13/12/2017 15:56

This was asked a week or so ago. Answer the bloody door or leave a note. The world doesn't revolve round you and your so important conference calls.

Original poster
Timeforanamochango · 13/12/2017 15:58

@olive I think you need to take a chill pill love and stop making things up in your head that I clearly haven’t said.

I never once said my job was more important than his, I said I couldn’t stop what I was doing to answer the door. Just like when I call clients and I’m sure they see me calling but they are busy and can’t answer, that’s life in any job. Peoples lives don’t revolve around waiting for a parcel. As for moaning about going to the post office, I said I would have answered it if I could because I wouldn’t want to go. Sorry if the highlight of your day is a nice drive to the post office but it isn’t for me, I didn’t say that was his fault.

I do understand though that it’s his job and it’s frustrating for him but as I say, I couldn’t have left my computer and pitch mid flow to answer the door. He could’ve knocked/ring once and even come back again and tried again but it’s the amount he did it that really pissed me off.

OP posts:
PersianCatLady · 13/12/2017 15:59

When he took the box he thanked her but pointed out that a nappy delivery was suggestive that there might be a young child in the house who'd be likely to be asleep at that time of night..
And yet if they had waited until someone could deliver them earlier in the day, they might have run out of nappies and complained as well.

People expect so much today.

HamishBamish · 13/12/2017 15:59

That's a bit unfair olive. You can't just get up and leave a conference call if you're running it or speaking. Yes, OP's conference calls probably are more important than answering the door to the delivery driver. Mine certainly are.

VladmirsPoutine · 13/12/2017 15:59

Yabu. It would have taken 2mins. Confused

diddl · 13/12/2017 15:59

Imagine from his POV-knew you were there & not answering the door!

Original poster
Timeforanamochango · 13/12/2017 15:59

Can someone link to the other thread? I’m intrigued now!

OP posts:
RhiWrites · 13/12/2017 16:00

But if you had answered the door it would have been less disruptive.

VladmirsPoutine · 13/12/2017 16:01

The whole 'important pitch' thing sounds like such self-aggrandising shit.
It's a parcel and a door. Unless your front door is 30km from your living room it would not have killed you.

Rudgie47 · 13/12/2017 16:04

OP you should have either put a note on the door or answered it. What's the delivery person supposed to do with it?
If you had said to colleagues, one moment please it would have been o.k. No One expects 100% perfection.

Jux · 13/12/2017 16:09

I think you are very lucky in your postman, he made Herculean efforts to deliver to you and save you a trip to the PO. Tell your postman of a safe place he can leave your stuff in such situations, or when you’re out, and save both of you the bother.

I think he tried and you should be glad that he did so I think YABU.

oliveinacampervan · 13/12/2017 16:14

@Timeforanamochango

olive I think you need to take a chill pill love and stop making things up in your head that I clearly haven’t said.

I think YOU are the one who needs a chill pill LOVE.

And you need to stop thinking you and your job are more important than the delivery drivers. You are being ridiculous.

Sorry if the highlight of your day is a nice drive to the post office but it isn’t for me

Stupid comment. Is that the best you can do? Wink

YABU it would have taken 2 minutes.

If you had answered the door it would have been less disruptive.

The whole 'important pitch' thing sounds like such self-aggrandising shit.

It's a parcel and a door. Unless your front door is 30km from your living room it would not have killed you.

OP you should have either put a note on the door or answered it. What's the delivery person supposed to do with it?

I think you are very lucky in your postman, he made Herculean efforts to deliver to you and save you a trip to the PO . YABU.

YEP to all these ^ ! Obvious to sensible logical people. But the OP was so important WORKING, doing her very important job! The job that is waaaaaay more important than the menial delivery driver's job! She was WORKING after all. He should have known she was WORKING at her verrry important job. Stupid delivery man! No wonder he is in such a menial job! Confused

@pinkpowerofthought

so spot on olive!

Thank you. Smile I think so too! Grin

EvansOvalPies · 13/12/2017 16:16

When first reading the OP title thread, I would have agreed. If someone unexpected knocks on the door and doesn't get an answer, then they shouldn't keep knocking. If that were the case here, then you Would Not be Unreasonable. (My in-laws do it, knowing that I work from home, they 'pop in' unexpectedly for a cup of tea and if I'm busy and don't answer the door, they start peering through the windows, knowing I'm in, as they can see the car). That is rude, IMO.

However - you were expecting a delivery. The delivery chap knew you were in and was trying to deliver your expected parcel. The alternative would be for him to either ask a neighbour to take it in for you, or return it to the depot for you to collect or request a re-delivery. Inconvenient for all concerned. Because your conference call was 'more important' than the lowly delivery driver's time. What is wrong with you that you couldn't stop your call for less than 30 seconds to answer the door and sign for the parcel you were expecting? In that respect, YABVVU

Original poster
Timeforanamochango · 13/12/2017 16:18

I appreciate the different opinions on this but yes to me, not fucking up my call was more important than answering the door. I’m sure anyone in my role would say the same.

If someone doesn’t answer my phone call, I don’t call them hundreds of times. I just think it’s rude, there are a million reasons I might not have been answering and it’s uncalled for.

Maybe in the future I should put a note up, do you just put it up and take it down when you’re busy? Wouldn’t it attract people stealing your stuff if you have a big note up saying ‘leave parcels by door’ etc

OP posts:
GrooovyLass · 13/12/2017 16:21

As someone with social anxiety who often ignores the doorbell if I'm not expecting anyone I was also all ready to agree, but when you're expecting a delivery YABU.

HamishBamish · 13/12/2017 16:21

I completely understand where you are coming from Time. I wonder if those who are saying you should have left your call to answer the door would leave a meeting in an office to do the same. You can't just get up and leave a call which may have 20+ people on it, some very senior, to answer the door to the postman. It's unprofessional and disrupts the flow of the call, especially if you are running like OP.

Gemini69 · 13/12/2017 16:22

I agree .. I think the OP.. .. was Very Unreasonable... Xmas Grin

DeleteOrDecay · 13/12/2017 16:23

YANBU this really annoys me. More so when it's a cold caller/charity person/etc knocking. Yes we are in but we are not interested in new double glazing fuck off.

I think knocking twice is acceptable as I know myself I don't always hear someone knocking on the door first time but to keep knocking and knocking is rude. There are many reasons why someone might not answer the door. For example if you are working like op was.

EvansOvalPies · 13/12/2017 16:23

I’m sure anyone in my role would say the same

I'm pretty sure they wouldn't, actually! You were expecting a parcel to be delivered to YOUR HOME. What else is there to say?

EvansOvalPies · 13/12/2017 16:25

Delete - but it wasn't a cold caller. It was a delivery driver, delivering a parcel that OP was expecting. Not the same thing at all.