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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this punishment acceptable?

110 replies

Robyrollover · 12/12/2017 16:27

At school DC was told to stand at the front of class with arms outstretched holding a bean bag in each hand for not listening, for 5 minutes. Dc is 12.

AIBU if I complain?

OP posts:
OlennasWimple · 12/12/2017 22:19

Not acceptable.

MrsCrabbyTree · 12/12/2017 22:47

Isn't there a torture method which involves holding out your arms for long extended periods? Sounds like a moderate version of it.

londonmummy1966 · 12/12/2017 23:01

Angel clearly you are that parent

Original poster
Robyrollover · 12/12/2017 23:01

There was an incident last week where a lad spat in a girls face , and his sanction was being sent to the back of the line. I think I might give them a call tomorrow

OP posts:
WrittenandGrown · 12/12/2017 23:03

This was a punishment when I was at school, I am 30 not from the 1930s. It’s really hard to do and does put you off talking in class again.

WrittenandGrown · 12/12/2017 23:06

@overnightangel
What message does it give out? The message that if you talk you will have to stand at the front of the class with your hand over your mouth.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 12/12/2017 23:08

Meh. Maybe he'll listen in future then.

Wouldn't be a teacher for all the tea in China me!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 12/12/2017 23:10

I'm also Hmm when parents accept the very innocent sounding explanation as gospel. Because we all know kids who don't want to be in trouble tell the whole truth as it happened. I bet the teacher has a different side to the story

Original poster
Robyrollover · 12/12/2017 23:10

Taking a chair away makes sense. This doesn't! 'you weren't listening so stand there until your arms hurt'

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/12/2017 23:11

No its not an acceptable punishment.
However you using her only being 12 as an excuse for her not to listen is not helpful.

Original poster
Robyrollover · 12/12/2017 23:12

CherryChasingDotMuncher

Even so, lunchtime detention seems more appropriate as in a 'you waste my time I'll waste yours'

What behaviour would warrant physical pain being inflicted?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 12/12/2017 23:14

Don't care what the other side of the story is, if that punishment is used for anything, it's wrong.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/12/2017 23:14

It's no wonder so many are leaving the profession.

Original poster
Robyrollover · 12/12/2017 23:15

It's not an excuse. No child will listen100% of the time, and I'd imagine the last week of school before Christmas is particularly trying with mufti/party days and the like. I'm not saying I don't blame him, more that in the scheme of things, being momentarily distracted is a given and should be punished accordingly. I won't sanction at home as I believe a school sanction is sufficient in these instances, however this seems OTT to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Robyrollover · 12/12/2017 23:16

Why's that Awwlookatmybabyspider?

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/12/2017 23:18

I do agree with you though and being pissed off over the boy who spat at the girl only getting sent to the back of the line.
I can't argue with you on that point.

Jellybean85 · 12/12/2017 23:20

Yea the punishment is definitely wrong and you should complain, but seriously, "he was just momentarily distracted by a display on the board"
Please take your 12 year olds stories with a pinch of salt Grin

Ceto · 12/12/2017 23:26

Ceto when op made the excuse "because they are 12, it was the last lesson of the day and its the last week of term before they break up for christmas... maybe?!"

Chocolate - no, that wasn't an excuse. That was the response OP gave to a question about why her son wasn't listening. It was a statement of the reasons, not an excuse.

Original poster
Robyrollover · 12/12/2017 23:26

He's usually reliable, but lots of you seem to know him better than me so I guess I'll take your word for it Hmm

As it happens he struggles not to tell the truth, it doesn't make sense to him to be anything but matter of fact.

It may have been more than momentarily, however, as he did describe the display in great detail before getting to the point.

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 12/12/2017 23:37

We had a maths teacher at school who used to draw a circle on the board and get you to put your nose in it if you were naughty.

Honestly? We hated him and didn’t respect him. His attempt at a humiliating punishment failed because instead of being scared of him we united against him and played up more.

He didn’t last long.

As a teacher, I recognise that he was a man clearly out of his depth and doing his best with no idea of what to do. As a line manager I would know that if I received a call/letter/complaint about this I would have to (and want to) act on it.

He shouldn’t be in the classroom whilst he thinks this is acceptable.

Obviously your DC shouldn’t have been talking but there are lunchtime detentions for that.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 12/12/2017 23:42

Seriously, I’m surprised he/she even told you about it. Talking in class is distracting to the others, I’m sure there was a warning first. Leave it be, your child will probably be mortified you approached the school and I bet will not chat in class again.

Weezol · 12/12/2017 23:50

Blimey, some of the commenters on this thread must never have been kids themselves!
Even if the child had been talking in class, this is in no way an appropriate response from the teacher.

yellowutka · 12/12/2017 23:51

That is just horrible, why do we treat children like this when we wouldn't treat adults that way? It really doesn't matter if the child was listening or not - you don't humiliate children. I know it's hard, but I think you have to stand up for your child here op and complain.

Gaudeamus · 13/12/2017 00:03

Well a teacher is using physical chastisement on your child so of course you should complain!

A teacher of mine quietly retired after making a boy plunge his hands into freezing and then piping water. Her argument was that she wasn't actually injuring him...

Gaudeamus · 13/12/2017 00:06
  • piping hot