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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this punishment acceptable?

110 replies

Robyrollover · 12/12/2017 16:27

At school DC was told to stand at the front of class with arms outstretched holding a bean bag in each hand for not listening, for 5 minutes. Dc is 12.

AIBU if I complain?

OP posts:
Ceto · 12/12/2017 17:08

When precisely has OP made excuses for her child's behaviour, Chocolate?

pointythings · 12/12/2017 17:09

Completely unacceptable and yes, it is a form of corporal punishment. You need to complain and it must never happen again.

Trinity66 · 12/12/2017 17:09

No it's not acceptable at all, it's a form of humiliation :/

ToffeeUp · 12/12/2017 17:12

Ofcourse this is not an acceptable punishment and yes you should complain.

RestingGrinchFace · 12/12/2017 17:17

Can 12 year olds even do that for five minutes?

@overnightangle if they are holding bags it would be unlikely to be a private school, you normally don't have bags in classrooms in private schools, not that it should matter. It doesn't make it more ok if you are paying for it.

I don't think that it is absolutely horrifying but it isn't exactly good, especially seeing as it would surely be painful? Definitely strays into corporal punishment territory. Make a formal complaint.

diddl · 12/12/2017 17:22

"because they are 12, it was the last lesson of the day and it's the last week of term before they break for Christmas.... maybe?!"

I don't agree with the punishment, but also don't agree that the above is any excuse either.

He's 12-not an excited toddler!

QueenArseClangers · 12/12/2017 17:23

Bloody hell, does your child go to Lowood School with Jane Eyre?

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 12/12/2017 17:27

That's awful! Where does it say it's a boy, btw, or are people just assuming

Mumof56 · 12/12/2017 17:32

because they are 12, it was the last lesson of the day and it's the last week of term before they break for Christmas.... maybe?!

yet all the other pupils managed to behave themselves...

Chocolate254 · 12/12/2017 17:35

Ceto when op made the excuse "because they are 12, it was the last lesson of the day and its the last week of term before they break up for christmas... maybe?!"

FrLukeDuke · 12/12/2017 17:36

Is this for real?

tampinfuminragin · 12/12/2017 17:40

I think that punishment is odd regardless of what has been done that requires punishment.

I would raise it with the headteacher.

HildaZelda · 12/12/2017 17:41

No, that's no okay OP. Telling you DC off for talking is one thing but what the teacher did was try and humiliate your child in front of the rest of the class (for a very minor 'offence' too) and there's absolutely no need for that. That teacher just sounds like a bully on a power trip. I had a teacher like that when I was about 8 or 9 and and I can remember how shit she made me feel when she did something similar to that. That was nearly thirty years ago. It's horrible to hear that kind of stuff is still going on.

Spartaca · 12/12/2017 17:46

12 yr olds are still human though, being a bit over excited is vey normal

overnightangel · 12/12/2017 17:51

@RestingGrinchFace
I wasn’t saying that Coz you pay for it it makes it ok, quite the opposite.
I was just making the observation that it’s more the kind of old fashioned kind of thing that would happen at a boarding school that would in no way be allowed in a state school.
I’d be making a complaint against the teacher too

Original poster
Robyrollover · 12/12/2017 18:15

DC was looking at a display on a board - he was momentarily distracted Hmm

OP posts:
londonmummy1966 · 12/12/2017 18:22

If a child had not been sitting properly on their chair then taking it away and making them stand (I've done this before) or if they had been talking then perhaps standing in front of the class with their hands over their mouths - there would be a message/point to the punishment but to ask a child to stand in a weighted stress position is out of order. I would tell your DC off for not concentrating - and take their explanation with a pinch of salt - but have a quiet word with the HOY/HOD about this as it isn't right.

Original poster
Robyrollover · 12/12/2017 18:39

It's state school

OP posts:
overnightangel · 12/12/2017 18:47

“perhaps standing in front of the class with their hands over their mouths ”

You sound like a sadist how is that an acceptable punishment?
Weirdo

londonmummy1966 · 12/12/2017 19:13

Angel not one I've used although I have a colleague who has - if a child is talking persistently then getting them to put their hands over their mouth to stop them from talking for 5 minutes is quite effective. Also a visible punishment so others benefit from the deterrent effect. I have however taken a chair away on more than one occasion when I child has been told about not tipping it back and continues to do so. I don't see anything weird about either of those but standing at the front of the class with beanbags really is weird and sadistic.......

Pumperthepumper · 12/12/2017 19:18

That’s really weird, I’d complain too.

overnightangel · 12/12/2017 19:26

@londonmummy1966

I think making a child stand with their hands over their mouth is horrific, what kind of message does that send out?? I’m glad I don’t have children in your school, bizarre

why12345 · 12/12/2017 21:55

No you're not BU. Go in and complain and ignore the people on here trying to shift the blame on to your not for not listening.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 12/12/2017 22:00

It out of order IMO. I'd definitely complain. Even if he had done something very disruptive, that's not the point, the punishment is inappropriate.

HermionesRightHook · 12/12/2017 22:17

Pretty sure that this is corporal punishment - doing that for that long would hurt. Formal complaint time - you won't get anywhere with a teacher wrong enough to do this in the first place.