Anxiety as an excuse

[Nelly5678]

Don't get me wrong! I know some people genuinely have anxiety issues, but is it just me or has suddenly in the past year everyone "has an anxiety disorder" the second they feel nervous over the slightest thing??? It's really starting to annoy me how people blame eveything on their anxiety, when all I wanna do is scream at them that they don't have anxiety!!! I can't be the only one...?

Anxiety is an emotion so I think it sounds weird to say you "have" it. Better an anxiety disorder I guess where your worrying has become out of control or is no longer proportionate to what is happening in your life.

I had several long episodes of an anxiety disorder. It took over years of my life and was terrifying. I don't know if people use it as an excuse or say they "have anxiety" when they are just naturally worried about something - probably. The internet can promote ideas like this. But I also think people are more worried than usual at the moment. So anxiety disorders are probably increasing.

My husband has diagnosed GAD and health anxiety. It has been a hard year. It really impacted his sleep, he had panic attacks multiple times daily, he was convinced he had serious health issues. Seeing him desperately trying to hold himself together when our daughter had a cold broke my heart. The medication helped but the side effects caused their own issues. He is trying to stop them now but it's a bumpy road. Real anxiety disorder is often invisible to the outside world and can disrupt every aspect of your life.

Cool story OP. Your idle musing really helps me feel like I’m no longer drowning on land and am a massive burden and disappointment to everyone, cheers.

I think most mean to say they are feeling anxious but 'I have anxiety' comes out. My anxiety manifests itself physically, is very painful and debilitating rather than a feeling of stress or nervousness or whatever and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. 'I have anxiety' is the new 'I'm so OCD haha' to me.

What a horrible post OP!

Shame on you!

I am a Jobcentre Manager with 12 Work Coach staff . According to them about 75% of their claimants say they are unable to work due to anxiety . How do you prove/ disprove ?

75%?

Ok then.

I have an anxiety disorder. I have had prescribed medication and have not missed a day of work (yet) but let me tell you how I'm feeling right now.

I've averaged 4 hours sleep a night in the past week. I'm overthinking and fretting about something work related. I can't stop thinking about it and can't concentrate on anything else. I'm shaking with worry. I'm annoyed at myself for getting so worked up.

I'm trying to find an escape and on the verge of panic. My eyes hurt because I'm so tired but I darent close them because what's going on in my head will magnify. I'll wake up tomorrow and will immediately start with a racing heart and my day will go downhill from there.

I wish I could use it as an excuse but as an excuse for what?

Ok I’m hoping this doesn’t out me but I’d like someone to tell me if I suffer from genuine anxiety or am just sometimes nervous because I genuinely don’t know. To add some context, I grew up in an abusive household and suffered from what I believe was mild OCD as a teen (never diagnosed) e.g I had to lock and unlock the door 4 times, I had to turn the lights on and off 4 times, I had to check all appliances and switches 4 times in case of fire and I had to wash my hands 4 times or something bad would happen. I realised this wasn’t normal behaviour and probably related to home stress so I worked hard to stop my obsession with doing everything 4 times and I’ve succeeded.

Fast forward to my 40s and I’m in a career that has recently involved giving regular presentations to senior people. It makes me quite distressed. I know my stuff but I’m crippled by fear. My heart races, I start trembling to the point I have trouble actually speaking. I physically have to stop myself running away. I have problems breathing and sometimrs stomach pains and feel very hot. I don’t know if these are panic attacks, anxiety or normal nervousness. I’m worried that if I don’t control this (it happens every time I present) it will affect my career and I’m worried it’s a knock on affect from childhood. Should I see someone?

It is very prevalent seemingly. No idea why maybe just pressure of life?

I did meet someone recently whose opening line to me was "I don't go out much I have anxiety." I was a little miffed I only had said hello!

I have complex PTSD, depression and anxiety. I struggle a lot with things outside my comfort zone. My comfort zone is small. It takes an awful lot of effort to get me to go somewhere new.

I recently had a new appointment with the pain clinic. I cancelled it twice and on the third attempt got hopelessly lost and ended up sitting absolutely sobbing my heart out in the car down the phone to dp. I was in a state and couldn't even think straight never mind drive home. A lovely man came over to see if I was ok and stood talking to me for ages until I was calm enough to make my way home.

Now I know people get lost and people get upset but even I know that this is a fucking completely over the top reaction to getting lost.

I also joined the PTA last year. It took 8 months to get me to a meeting. 8 months of cancelling at the last minute, finding any excuse I could think of because the stress of it was just making me ill.

So yeah, new people, new places, new situations, crowds, lots of noise - my anxiety levels go through the roof.

If you met me you wouldn't have a clue - I run a successful business, I am complimented daily on my happy, cheery outlook and ability to keep calm in a crisis.
Last year I nearly died and as a result have extreme health anxiety. Tonight I am in bed, shaking with fear, with a pulse of over 120 because both my children have colds and I am petrified that I have caught it. I have a very slight sore throat and I am a little run down but there is absolutely nothing I can do it tell myself to stop worrying. I can't sleep, I can't swallow, my head and heart are pounding.
Yet tomorrow I will go to work and no one will know this is how I spent my evening because I will put in my happy face and then I will spend tomorrow evening in exactly the same state.
Last year I had days that I physically couldn't get out of bed because my fear of becoming ill took over my life.
Anxiety isn't just an emotion, it's a physical and mental condition that prevents thousands of people from functioning on a day to day basis.
So yes, OP, YABU and an utterly thoughtless idiot!

OP. I’m with you. Everyone’s anxious. The world. Politics. Kids. Job. Lack of job. Elderly parents. Partenr. Lack of. Kids. Lack of. It’s a human condition. Get on with it. But that won’t win the popular vote on here.

But you’ll get a ton of abuse ‘cause people do love their anxiety labels.

Ive suffered with anxiety a few years now and i have extreme ocd. My anxiety is more than just worrying. The physical symptoms are not nice. Panic attacks just come from no where at times. I also have tremors where i shake and i cannot speak. I am under cbt therapy and also medicated. Lets hope op you never suffer from anxiety. Its morethan just a simple worry but im learning to live with it now and learning to control it best i can.

I have diagnosed anxiety disorder though I manage it now

If people say they have anxiety I believe them

Anxiety is a normal reaction it's only a disorder when it takes over your life and appears when there is no rational need for it ( think flight or fight response )

So someone may be anxious about something minor and it doesn't impact on any other area of their life but for that particular point in time / event etc etc they are anxious with all the horrible emotions and feelings that go with it

Who are you to decide how they are feeling

Feeling anxious is natural when certain situations arise. Yep if I'm driving in a new city I feel anxious. But this is now. A year ago I would have been. Shaking, crying, heart racing, sweating, feeling sick, and most noticeably flapping my hands like a fucking penguin. I could not switch my thoughts off and considered taking illegal drugs just to get away from all of the thoughts . I honestly thought I could not live my life if this was what it was going to be like.i was anxious about calling to make a Dr appointment.i flapped my hands and cried in the waiting room while my mum told me not to worry (cos that'll work).i could barely speak to the Dr. My blood pressure was sky high and I suspect had been for some time. Thankfully I have a lovely Dr who prescribed a range of medication and counselling that has turned my life around. Funnily enough I was anxious about getting the antipsychotics (does he think I'm psychotic? Is he going to ring social services? I'll lose the kids!my husband will leave me.i will kill myself. That's really embarrassing, everyone will talk about me dying so I got fucking kill myself as I can't have my family being embarrassed...).

It was hell. Yes people overuse the phrase "I'm anxious" just as people say "I'm so depressed" or, my favourite, "I'm a bit OCD ". But then don't we do this with everything. Often I come home to hear "I'm starving " from a member of the family.do I honestly think they are starving? No!

It's great that mental health is talked about more but I would never tell anyone in to about how I've felt except my therapist.

It has been an awfully long road to get me to here. But I am here. I may well say to someone "I suffer from Anxiety " but thatbdoesnt mean I will tell them everything I've written above.

The vast majority of people will have suffered some form of anxiety in their life. So yes you’re being U. It can be utterly debilitating.

I know that some people say they have anxiety when they mean that they are feeling anxious but YABU. Who are you to judge who actually has an anxiety disorder or not?

I've had a diagnosed anxiety disorder since I was 19, have had CBT (was unsuccessful) and have been on medication for years.

Is that good enough for you?

@tartantroosers ..didn't realise it was the 1950s again.

There's a massive difference between the stresses of everyday life and all encompassing, crippling anxiety. It's utterly debilitating.

I think people are just trying to normalize the term a little perhaps? I live with crippling anxiety, OCD and depression. It’s a constant battle between the need to get everything done that the anxiety and OCD are demanding happen so the world doesn’t end and the absolute inability to actually move from the depression. I have no problem talking about my mental health to anyone who asks or is curious - after all if I had a broken leg or something they’d ask about that. However, my anxiety revolves around certain things.

I also get just plain nervous about some stuff. And people in my circle are now referring to this regular nervousness as suffering from anxiety.

No Janet you don’t have anxiety because you are worried the supermarket won’t have basil when you get there. That’s just worrying. When you can’t leave the house because you have managed to convince yourself that your family will die and your friends will disown you because of a chain of events linked to the lack of basil and end up in physical distress because of it you can self diagnose as an anxiety disorder. And then you don’t go out because what if you do and walk into a supermarket and there’s no basil even though you don’t need it anymore and everyone dies anyway?? And so now pesto and Capri Salads are off the menu forever because basil is a trigger for an anxiety attack and a nice new set of intrusive OCD thoughts.

And I don’t even like basil 🤣.

I hear what your trying to say OP.

Anxiety is real, some people suffer terribly with it and are certainly not making excuses.

However...it is a term that gets flung around a lot lately. As soon as someone is worried about something or nervous, they believe they have anxiety.

Its very hard to determine if it is a genuine case or not. People (those who many not genuinely have it) can use anxiety as an excuse for all sorts of things but some people do have it and are not using it as an excuse.
But how can you tell the difference? That's why you have to be empathetic to someone who says they have anxiety.

tartan fair enough if you know nothing about anxiety as mental health disorder but you could at least read the thread?

Years ago I would have been shaking, curled up in bed, unable to talk or think, being sick until I needed hospitalisation at the thought of getting in a car for example.

Count yourself lucky as clearly you have had no brushes with this issue.

Not again.
This thread is exactly the same as the others.
Its full of people having a go at the OP for saying that anxiety disorders are not real and how dare she say THEY are making things up.

Why do people do that?
Its maddening.

If you have an anxiety disorder surely you get annoyed at people who say they have one but don't?

YABVVVU.

Are you a qualified psychologist or GP? If not then you aren't qualified to pass judgement.

Why not try to be a bit a lot more understanding?