AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

@Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar

Yup. London stinks! Have you ever been?

I loved living in London and I adore living where I live now.

There are some fabulous communities out there. We now live in a town in surrounded by woodland with a train to Bristol and Bath, great schools, jobs, but the thing I loved about both London living and living in this town is the community. People try hard to make this town a thriving, interesting, creative place, and it's surrounded by incredible geography.

I'm sure there's lots of places similar to where I live now but you will need to look for them, and you wouldn't necessarily discover them on first visit.

Up north we have shops, banks and even cash tills - a plane just flew overhead and l even saw a bus this morning shock.

No way! Picture with one of those new fangled things that takes photos or it didn't happen!

Who seriously has time to go to a load of art and culture stuff with kids though? We live 1/2 an hour on the train from central London and don't get in that often for non-work reasons.

The difference around the parts of London & SE I've lived and some parts of Greater Manchester and other places I've lived, and what will influence your kids is aspiration and expectations of the people who live there, the kids they go to school with and their teachers. And that can differ very much from one small area to another, and one school to another, just as it does in London. You can't say Bristol is like this, Manchester is like that, any more than you can London.

Great that your mum can move with you. What I'd advise is speak to RL friends and family and go anywhere you have a few connections already, which would also suit the kind of lifestyle you want.

I'm very family and friends oriented- we live in a lovely place but what makes it great is the people and community we have around us.

I know chips and cheese and gravy whats that all about ?I Might like my chips wet but i,m not a heathen.

So subjective though. I like culture, museums, doing stuff like that, so on those grounds no, nowhere else in England comes close to London. If you not bothered or interested in doing that sort of thing not being near that is no issue

Sure, because ALL of the culture and museums and "stuff like that" are in London. There are none anywhere else, at all, its a wasteland out there.

Do you really not see the problem with that kind of attitude?

@poppingshop1 We just moved west along a well-worn corridor! We're in Ealing now, and really like it. Both DH and I work centrally and with shared pick-ups for DD it means we can meet friends after work and enjoy the bars, restaurants etc. even some late-opening events if we want.
Ealing isn't Proper Suburb though, it's more of an 'outer-central' area these days. I wouldn't want to go out any further than we have done. Commute is approx 1hr door-to-door for both of us. DD goes to school locally. As she gets older we are doing more stuff with her - I love that there just so much high-quality stuff within such easy reach. Art galleries, historic buildings & museums, theatre and pop-up events are accessible and so much is free - I appreciate it because I grew up with it too! I find we can so easily enhance what she's learning about at school by going to some of the actual places etc.
DH is from the north west and we often go up to see family, and holiday in the UK often too, so we don't totally live in a London bubble. Maybe park the idea of having to move out of London, and spend some day-trips and holidays bucketing around the UK?

@thecat

I lived in Paris too about a decade ago! I said to my French friend the other day how I’d love to move back and she basically laid into Paris. Worst place to live in France etc etc. I liked it .

It's just that there is a subset of London people (mostly not real Londoners, actually) who insist on doing this grating "Other places? Outside London? Has viable life been found in any of them?!" thing great. Which makes London sound like a city of self-absorbed halfwits.

Why does London divide opinion so much, and so strongly

I think it's because of all the concentration of services, jobs, amenities, facilities, etc in London that, over time, have been sucked away from the other parts of the country. It leaves ill-feeling in the areas left behind.

Add to that, most politicians seem to be Londoners who are "parachuted in" to regional constituencies despite not knowing (nor caring) about local issues, and continuing to live/work in London, which likewise gives an impression of being "london-centric", or the Metropolitan Elite.

Catwoozles point is a good one and you can't know if you have struck gold in a friendly community with like minded souls who can be your own and your children's friends until you have lived there a year or so.

My advice would be don't burn bridges, rent house not sell if you make the move don't be scared to move back if its not what you think.

I live on the south coast not far from Brighton.
Brighton is now overflowing with London transplants. Very expensive to live in the nice parts and plenty of not so nice parts and crowded most of the year.
Hove is getting just as popular and towns like shore ham are getting the people who have been priced out of Brighton and hove.

thanks thecatfromjapan & “ohchill”. Wowsers if I do move I will be binning the “I love London” tshirt & car sticker!

girlwhowearsglasses Thank you but a few rude comments don’t bother me. Where are you looking at going?

Ugh battleax, I think maybe one person (who had moved to London all of about 6 months before) say that to me. I just assumed he was an epic twunt. Not the fault of other Londoners though.

Highly offensive ffs 😂😂😂👏👏👏

"Thank you but a few rude comments don’t bother me."

@poppingshop1 You do realise that you initiated the rude tone of the thread by suggesting that there isn't a life for the majority of the population outside of London? ...

Who seriously has time to go to a load of art and culture stuff with kids though?

People who prioritize it. Not me, to be perfectly honest but I've got a good friend who is obsessed with the theatre (ballet in particular) and goes about once a fortnight.

Have you not heard that Yorkshire is God's own ?
More Michelin stars than any other county outside London.
A veritable choice of toppings for your chips from cheese to curry sauce to chip spice.

Leeds would be a sensible choice of city for a finance career and lots going on.

London is like the Capitol in the hunger games, stealing wealth and focus from everywhere else, full of people who can't see past the end of their nose

OhChill I loved Paris too. I loved being able to walk to most places. And, yes, I think there's a bit of a 'thing' in France, where it's a 'thing' to hate Paris if you don't live there. Which is kind of weird.

Love op's innocent little me act, when she's the one who started off suggesting there is literally nothing outside the one area she has ever been

@Kazzyhoward

I see...

Maybe I should visit London then... Just to see what all the fuss is about! Fascinating

I have to say though I did find a difference in working in London vs working anywhere else. In London people already have their own friends, life feels very busy and people aren't as interested in you. Anywhere else in UK, you start work and people ask you loads of questions, want to get to know you, involve you in things...etc

Massive sweeping generalisation and some people very much prefer the less friendly/nosey approach anyway.

Sure, because ALL of the culture and museums and "stuff like that" are in London. There are none anywhere else, at all, its a wasteland out there.

No one's saying that. The difference is scale. How many shows are currently running in London versus running in Leeds (just to pick an example at random)? I don't know the answer, but it's many multiples.

Not the fault of other Londoners though.

Thanks chill.

Let's just emphasise that point

Not the fault of other Londoners though.