To have completely just lost my shit and spirit of Christmas?

[Rangelife]

I'm walking across an icy, freezing northern city after rushing into Sainsbury's to buy a shifty secret santa present for work.

A bastard glass hot chocolate snowman kit for a fiver. I'm trying to simultaneously shove the thing into a shitty gift bag, whilst tying the ribbon and ripping off the stupid plastic hanger thing and screaming in my head 'I'm sick of this shit!'

I don't even know the woman I've bought for and I was ill yesterday so missed the food and secret santa swap. AIBU to think this isn't what it's meant to be like?

I want to be a child again. Please regale me with your Christmas meltdowns so I don't feels so irritated with the festive season. Please.

MrsKoalayour tree looks drunk,you don't think whilst you've been ignoring it that it's been at your Christmas booze do you?

We moved to the other side of the world to NZ to avoid this shit. Much more relaxed here and Christmas is sunny. Still have secret Santa though.

I'm currently going full tonto!! The 'not so magical' and very naughty elf is still swinging from a hook in the kitchen where he has been since I took him out of the box on 1st December .... The children keep asking why our elf hasn't been up to much mischief ... to which I say - he figures laziness is 'a thing' in this house and until he sees you pulling your weight to alleviate some of Mum's 'psychotic stresshead' he's dicking about on this hook and just fooling around like you lot!

Last night I was so ultimately p'd off with wrapping stress that I went to see Bad Mom's Christmas with friends... best way to have spent £10 that I would have otherwise spent on panick-buy shit that I ever spent!!

I love the leaning tree, don't buy a stand. Leave it there to reflect on it's behaviour for the rest of the season. The word will get round and you will get a really well behaved one next year.

My Mum fell through the loft into the kitchen whilst trying to get Christmas Tree out. I just heard a "Ohhhh!" Then saw her legs dangling......

Dp really wants the perfect magical Christmas but invariably something goes wrong and because he can't deal with anything going wrong Christmas is always shit.
That is why I wanted to go away at Christmas.
Dp still wants the perfect Christmas so we are staying home.
I haven't bought so much as a Christmas card let alone wrapped anything. Dp seems to be planning every detail and telling me all about it which seems to be a lot of stuff that involve the word we but seem to be the stuff I need to do.
This is the very reason I hate Christmas.

We did secret santa last night..... i got a primark hat and scarf..... sweatshop shite. That will be a school tombola present in the New Year!

Got to work on Monday to discover i’s Been put in a secret santa. The person I picked is one of my best workmates.

I asked her what she wants - she’s not keen on it either so at least she knows she’ll be happy with what she’s got - we’v both been on the crappy receiving end too many times for that kind of shite!!!

My nana died last October and she was the glue that held us all together. My family has fallen apart since we lost her. She WAS Christmas and I can’t muster any Christmas spirit. Im a single parent completely on my own and I feel so guilty that I can’t do better for my boy.

Feel no guilt! If Christmas should be about anything, it should be spending time with people you love. Have a lovely day with your son, eat what you both love with minimal cooking and have as relaxed a day as you can.

I have caused hell in the family by insisting that I am having Christmas Day at home with DH and DCs. No guilt at all!!!

I've got step mother and MIL coming to stay over Christmas...they've never met each other and both drink vats of Pinot Grigio. No presents brought yet, cards written last night just before DD decided to start throwing up. Now stuck at home with a ratty toddler and my own dodgy stomach while OH swans off to work with a cheery "have a lovely day!"

Anyone got a spare duck lying around that we can have for dinner...today is the last ordering day apparently

I hate all the Christmas Ads guilt tripping us into buying magical gifts

• I actually think the people who make them are cynical - just imagine the boardroom where they are planning their campaigns to wrestle as much money from us as possible.

We are very fortunate its just us four on the day, Boxing day we go for a long walk and to SILs on 27th.

I organise it all, then Christmas Eve, DP says either "what do you want'
or 'I haven't had time to get you anything'.

I like: Not working, Christmas lights, carols, Santa, turkey dinner, one gift I really want / wouldn't get for myself and a surprisingly fascinating book.

MrsK knowing your life, you're amazingly chilled. What's your secret?

One day, when you are sitting in your old peoples' home with no presents - secret Santa or otherwise - to send or receive, no cards on the mantlepiece, phone calls to make or expect, food to buy or prepare; no visitors to look forward to - think back to the time when you had it all but were too ungrateful to notice or appreciate it.

There is nothing wrong with Christmas, but there is something wrong with you if you let the unimportant things dictate how you feel.

Jazz I don’t need to be in an old people’s home for most of those things. Dh and I have no friends and very little family (just my mum and dad). We get no cards and no visitors. No phone calls to make or receive. We get no invitations. No secret Santa. I am just doing a small turkey roast for us and the kids - who won’t eat it anyway. The whole thing for us has no real element of anything that I think Christmas ‘should be’. We are giving the children presents and eating Turkey and I think that’s pretty much it for Christmas here.

I'm SO not in the mood and I should be. My DS26 will be coming with his girlfriend- he hasn't been for the last couple of years as was always working on the day. But I feel extra pressure of GF being here on the day, although she's lovely. Also, first time GF will be meeting my brother, his partner and daughter. They'll be fine but...

Also DH having a postponed eye op on 19th so it will be me doing the big shop and cooking on the day as he'll be recuperating. I usually do the main cooking but he does the Shop. Also, house needs a damn good clean...

Really can't be arsed. Also, asked DH to get one present (out of the many. We don't go over the top but I have literally have no idea what to get brother and his partner). Have been asking him for a month approx and still not bought - it's only Aldi salted caramel vodka - as he goes nearer to a big branch and I didn't find locally. So, instead of it being done and dusted, it's just another thing still on the list, taking up headspace.

Only did secret Santa once and got a small bar of chocolate and a cheap pair of slippers size 4. I'm a size 8 whoever got my name could of seen I don't have small fucking feet😡. Never bothered since.

Only do cards to immediate family and will being putting tree up on the 19th dec cause that's my next day off. No one in the house likes Xmas cake pudding or mince pies so that sorts that out. Kids are older now and just want money. I love seeing family over Xmas but have cut out all the unnecessary fluff and it feels very liberating.

I have generally no family to visit on my side of the family ( deceased or abroad). DHs family do their own thing now.

one year I hosted his perfectly able bodied parents ( who offered no help whatsoever - think not playing with their DGS, making a single cuppa, or even taking own cups to the dishwasher). I had an epic meltdown that year. After 3 days of hosting, cooking, cleaning having done all the shopping / wrapping and prep - working full time all year with an autistic toddler that they didn't help with at all During their stay. I dragged them all off for a walk on Boxing Day. I wanted to sit somewhere and drink a cup of coffee that was brought to me, IN A CUP THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO WASH AFTER 3 days of servitude.

Being Boxing Day only chains were open - when I suggested Caffè Nero MIL REFUSED to go saying that she wouldn't give "those tax avoiders her money".

I sulked like a badass but totally lost my shit as soon as they finally left.

Now we stay on our own, I still do the majority of stuff but I refuse to martyr myself. I discovered COOK! Xmas dinners last year...fecking delicious and you bung it in the oven so I can open presents, eat chocolates and drink wine.

I love Christmas but i did have a massive temper tantrum over gravy once

Dad came with his new wife and we were hosting 12 people for the very first Christmas ever at our house

The conservatoty where we eat is always decorated in white and crystals so i made sure all the table stuff was the same

I sent dh off to find the largest white gravy jug he could find as i love gravy and he came back with a drinks jug ...all fine

We use bisto gravy as i dont eat meat, i also wasnt having anything but veg as dh was already cooking for so many

I walked jnto the kitchen as dads wife was walking out with the gravy jug, i went to take it saying 'oooh gravy' and she said 'its not your gravy ive just out the meat juices in it'

SHE HAD FUCKING PUT THE MEAT JUICES IN MY GRAVY JUG!!!!

I went to the kitchen where dh was frantically making up another batch of gravy IN A RED MEASURING JUG THAT DIDNT GO WITH THE REST OF THE TABLE

I so feel all of the above. This year for the very first time (and 5 years since divorce) I have decided to decline invite to aged parents whilst my children (20s) spend the day with their dad.
I wasnt sure if I could manage it but the closer it gets and the more manic it becomes EVERY MOMENT you step outside the front door, the more I am looking forward to it!! I have spent 25 years doing the whole thankless wife and mother bit - school plays, secret santa, works do - to the inth degree and am finally so over it. Rarely meets expectations, and the most magical moments have been the unscheduled bits that money and planning cant really buy. So not being a grinch, just feel that the whole expensive, stressful anxiety fuelled experience is not for me this year and am looking forward to completely and utterly pleasing myself!! Just for a day!! Bliss!! and the more I read about unreasonable in laws, partners, children and family in general, the more happy I am with my decision. No cooking or cleaning whilst teenagers sit in front of the bloody X Box. etc etc etc. Am looking forward to the most chilled, relaxed and peaceful Christmas ever xxx

My DH hates Xmas - his own DF died when he was young and they didn’t have much for Xmas. I get this and and for the last 10 years it’s all been on his terms. But this year my DD will be with us following splitting from her partner of 11 years and I wanted a nice Christmas for her.

I told him to grow up and reminded him that he’s not 7 anymore!

I felt terrible afterwards but reading this thread I realise I’m just human.

Anyway, decided to put me and DD first and on Boxing Day I’m leaving them all to it (DH has 4 DCs who are also with us for Xmas) and DD and I are heading off to a spa hotel before going on to my other DD to have a Xmas in her new home. Can’t wait. I’ll return home once DHs DCs have gone and DH will have returned to his normal lovely self for New Year.

That way I may not even notice the lack of even a card from his DCs. (Eldest is 25 - so no excuse)

Thanks hesterton and categoric

I suppose I give myself a hard time over it, all part of mother’s guilt I guess haha!

When I was little Christmas was just fab. There was about 20 off us, most on garden chairs, completely rammed, total chaos. I had quite a difficult childhood but those memories are some of my happiest. It’s just so quiet with us two now. I long for a big, busy house.

miss you should have told MIL - see you in half an hour- with a bright smile and gone into Nero’s.

I would like to be saying the tree has seen the error of it's ways and stood up like it should. But the belligerent bastard has beat me into submission and i cracked and bought a stand today. So it;s now standing looking smug and I hate myself for being weak.

I'm actually really looking forward to decorating it tomo with the kids.