To be shocked at teacher telling DD to 'hold in' period.

[yaela123]

DD is 15 and her school have a no going to the toilet during lesson time rule, which I completely agree with on the whole as I know how disruptive it can be if people are constantly in and out, and how everyone just uses it as an excuse to bunk off (I am a teacher too - very different environment though)

Only exception is if you have a medical note from a doctor.

Today in one of her lessons DD says she could feel that she really needed to change her pad, she was getting quite worried about it leaking. She eventually asked the (male) teacher if she could go to the loo.

Teacher: No, you know the rules
DD: I really need it.
Teacher: What did I just say?
DD: It's a girl problem...
Teacher: What do you mean?
DD: Umm... I'm on my period
Teacher: Break is only in half an hour, hold it in til then

Obviously those aren't the exact words said but she says it's pretty accurate.
DD is quite shy so did just wait til break (no leakage btw).

She doesn't seem overly bothered but AIBU to be pretty shocked at him telling her to hold it in? Surely even men have some basic idea that it doesn't work like that?

I am the oldest daughter out of 5 girls. Of us 5 4 of us would be able to last 30 mins or even 2 hours without changing. 1 sister would absolutely flood a big pad and super tampax in that time.

Schools need to make allowances. If the teaching is that poor that it can't allow for toilet breaks for teenage girls, or even teenage boys on any kind of medical situation then the school has a problem with low level disruption that some children are being punished for.

A competent teacher should be able to deal with a toilet request without an in depth conversation about why a break is necessary and should know the students well enough to make a judgement call.

I remember a maths teacher dealing with repeated requests by saying 'Yes julie, go to the loo. See me at 3.25pm to cover what you missed tho, be as quick as you can tho cos it's your time now....'

Genuine requests will still go. Less genuine ones soon decide they can hold it in.

Is it fair that a usually badly behaved girl could end up with a leak ?

Not at all, I'd let all girls go, but was giving an example of a teacher using common sense/ their discretion in this matter.

You're the one advocating not letting anyone go!

Why are you all stalking pengggwn? It's Ok for her to have a differing opinion in this, surely you don't need to verify her life story.

I invested in some Thinx pants and don’t rate them. I’m not super super heavy but have still managed to leak through them

This thread is upsetting. I'd rather 10 girls went on an unneeded toilet break than 1 girl bled through in a lesson.

I simply do not agree that periods are to be airbrushed out of life as if they don't happen, pretending they're not painful and inconvenient and at some times and for some females completely horrific. Why on earth do we have to parade around in life pretending they don't happen? It is simply ridiculous. 50% of the world's population deals with periods. It's real!

I can remember the handful of times I've bled through in public. Absolutely horrific. I'm glad I've read this thread because I know I'm not alone in having flow that is very changeable and unpredictable. It has happened as a teen and as an adult. In each case I had no chance whatsoever to prevent it, it happened in seconds.

I can't believe any woman could be so judgemental and unempathetic about other women's experiences of flooding.

I have always had heavy and irregular periods. One day at school I suddenly 'came on' and there was nothing I could do. I sat and leaked on a chair, waited until class finished so I was the last to leave, and then went to the loo and grabbed a load of that itchy toilet paper. It was awful. So all those saying 'surely she knew'- its not always that simple.

I'd ring the school and complain tomorrow and seek assurances she can change her pad when she needs to.
I could flood a sanitary pad in five minutes at that age. I remember my school having that rule and girls would wear cycling shorts to stop the blood spilling onto uniform.

I had to verify my period to her Blah.

This is a failure to understand the issue. A clean pad makes no difference if you suddenly gush. The pad can't absorb the rush of blood fast enough and it spills out and leaks down your legs.

But the OP's DD didn't suddenly gush! That's my point.

If she really needed to go then she should be excused, but we've been told that actually she didn't leak - so she didn't need to go.

And if you know you might have times in the future where you might leak, then all you can do is mitigate it as best as possible as you cannot guarantee in the future that you will have access to the toilet. I don't see why posters want to argue that point. What do you do if you know you will be somewhere you can't leave? Do you not prepare to the best of your ability, or do you just let the gush happen?

blahblah there's having a differing opinion which is absolutely fine. But then there's calling people liars because she doesn't believe women can have such heavy periods. That's not ok.

Blahblahblahzeeblah it's not a differing opinions that people were objecting to, it was pengwyn calling lots of posters liars!

I doubt people needed to stalk Pengwwn. She's pretty hard to miss on most threads, she'll be the one arguing black is white.

It reminds me of the school that said they'd provide buckets for children to vomit in rather than let them go to the toilet. Am surprised that so many women on here blessed with light and regular periods are so unsympathetic or unaware that others have a different experience. I was a gusher during my teens and twenties. It's horrible. I remember having patches of blood staining my school skirts and being incredibly humiliated. And that was in spite of being able to use the loo. I'd complain.

You're the one advocating not letting anyone go!

Yes indeed, because if it's all or nothing I think far more girls would lie about it than have a genuine emergency, especially in a school where it's been necessary to implement a no toilet break rule. I was educated in a slightly dodgy school and habe seen how much disruption a couple of badly behaved students can make.

Even if you aren't leaking, panicing that you might do is pretty awful.

When you feel like you've flooded its nice to be able to go to the loo and wipe it away.

Why are you all stalking pengggwn?

I dont think anyone is.

If she is a prolific poster then you tend to remember them.
I would think her opinions are strong and quite controversial which is why others know some details.

Besides she said she was leaving the thread 5 pages ago so why didnt she?

I think it must be quite hard to concentrate in class even thinking you are going to leak, I would be most distracted.

Well, you did say “Liverpool from birth” which implies never having left.

I just said why.

I didnt believe you. I felt you are lying.

No completely unacceptable to not allow her to go to the bathroom and ask for hold it in- fml

If she really needed to go then she should be excused, but we've been told that actually she didn't leak - so she didn't need to go

Jesus wept, so a girl should only be allowed to go to the loo once she's already leaked? Not at the point where she thinks it a possibility? This is such a depressing thread.