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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to know why Tesco won't sell me alcohol when I'm with my teenage daughter

373 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 10/12/2017 17:31

Given that it is perfectly legal for me to give her a glass of wine to drink at home (and has been since she was 5)? Was told in Tesco today that I couldn't buy wine as DD1 was with me. DD1 is 19 but had no ID on her, as we had just nipped out for a few bits. Cashier finally called a manager, who gave me the Spanish Inquisition, and finally said "OK, I trust that you aren't going to give any to your daughter." ConfusedHmm

It's not like I was buying WKD - I had a bottle of Champagne and one of an expensive Bordeaux!

OP posts:
ClothEaredBint · 10/12/2017 19:05

haven't read the thread, but, used to work for Tosco.

If they suspect the alcohol is for your DD, they have to ask for ID, if she can't produce it, they have to refuse to serve you because they suspect the alcohol is for her.

The cashier isn't being petty, those are the rules, and we would rather refuse the sale than risk a fine/criminal record/losing our job.

slashlover · 10/12/2017 19:08

It's legal for you to give alcohol to DD in your own home, it is not legal for you to buy alcohol for DD.

It's like how it is legal for a 16 year old to have certain types of alcohol with a bar meal, however the 16 year old must not order the alcohol. The parent must be the one to order and pay for the alcohol.

There are certain things the staff are asked to look for, did DD carry the alcohol to the checkout? Did DD look at the alcohol on the shelf/point to the alcohol/etc.

uokhunni · 10/12/2017 19:08

You prob had an attitude on you, I'd imagine.

WatchingFromTheWings · 10/12/2017 19:11

Cashier finally called a manager, who gave me the Spanish Inquisition, and finally said "OK, I trust that you aren't going to give any to your daughter.

Store manager is not actually allowed to override the staff when it comes to 'Think 25'. Once ID has been asked for and not been provided, the sale must be refused. I'm a supervisor in a food shop and it's made clear in the guidelines that we're not allowed to do this.

Indigokitten · 10/12/2017 19:12

The person purchasing the alcohol (you) needs to have ID, if you have a minor with you, the store needs to have ‘reasonable proof’ that you are purchasing for a minor,
Therefore a ‘proxy’ sale. Before refusing the sale, purely because you have an under 18 with you.

snash12 · 10/12/2017 19:12

Yes happened to me more than once. Both me when I was a bit younger but still over 18 and she was buying alcohol as part of a food shop and again with a friend who just looks young but just happened to not have ID on her (we were both about 28!)

TheStarryNightSky · 10/12/2017 19:12

My grandad got refused once at 70 years old because I was with him and I had been refused 10 minutes before. (I was 22 at the time but had no ID)

snash12 · 10/12/2017 19:13

*with my mum

SilenceMeansWhatAreTheyUpTo · 10/12/2017 19:13

DH was driving home a 17-year-old friend of DD and stopped at Tesco to pick up a few bits and pieces, including a crate of beer. Friend offers to come in with him to help with the shopping. Cashier asks if the beer is "for the lad". Without missing a beat, said lad pipes up "Nah, I'm more of a cider man!" Grin

SaltySeaBird · 10/12/2017 19:14

I got ID'ed for alcohol this week. I'm 40 and definitely look it! I didn't mind but it did seem a bit strange that I was asked (unless the Dragons Blood thing in my M&S calendar is really that good).

TheStarryNightSky · 10/12/2017 19:14

Oh and I take my 3 yo DS shopping every week and have never been refused alcohol yet... what if I was going to give it to him, he's a minor - shock horror! 😂 😂 (sarcasm in case anyone missed it)

scaryteacher · 10/12/2017 19:16

There are certain things the staff are asked to look for, did DD carry the alcohol to the checkout? Did DD look at the alcohol on the shelf/point to the alcohol/etc.

Yet in Sainsbury yesterday, my ds searched for and found his cider on the shelf, unloaded it from the trolley on to the belt for me, and I was also buying beer. He is a very young looking 22, but wasn't asked for ID. Looking at and buying alcohol at age 18 is NOT illegal. If there is a wish for the age to drink to be raised, then legislate for it.

BarbaraofSevillle · 10/12/2017 19:17

How does carrying the alcohol prove anything? There was a comment on here once about a disabled woman who was refused alcohol for her, because her underage DS scanned it because she couldn't manage to do it herself.

All people are asking for is common sense. I was refused because I couldn't prove I was over 25, even though they were happy I was over 18. No-one was breaking the law or at risk of being fined, just rigid application of store policy.

uokhunni · 10/12/2017 19:18

This reply has been deleted

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slashlover · 10/12/2017 19:18

Looking at and buying alcohol at age 18 is NOT illegal. If there is a wish for the age to drink to be raised, then legislate for it.

No it's not. If you can prove you're 18.

lazyarse123 · 10/12/2017 19:19

It's really not fair to call shop workers "jobsworths". I work in a shop and the consequences of selling alcohol to underage teens can be terrible including huge fines,, loss of license which could result in job losses and even closure if it's a store that's heavily reliant on alcohol sales. Even prison is a possibility. We are not being arsey for the sake of it although we do have to use common sense.

kaytee87 · 10/12/2017 19:19

had to ID a lady wearing the full burka with just her eyes ( behind glasses) visible

Unusual for a strict Muslim to buy alcohol. Why did you ID her if you could tell by her hands she wasn't a teenager?

kaytee87 · 10/12/2017 19:21

Sorry running just noticed ur update

Oliversmumsarmy · 10/12/2017 19:21

Tesco asked for my ID to prove I was over 25 (they kept flashing the Think 25 badge)
when I tried to buy a lottery ticket.
I am nearly 60 and look nearly 70. The rest of the queue were in stitches. I didn't have ID on me so I didn't get the lottery ticket I had to go elsewhere

JockTamsonsBairns · 10/12/2017 19:21

Are you honestly unaware that shop staff receive a LARGE PERSONAL FINE if they accidentally sell alcohol to an under eighteen?

But that doesn't make sense. They wouldn't be "accidentally selling alcohol to an under eighteen". They'd be selling perfectly legally to an adult.

I had a similar experience in Tesco three years ago. I was doing a fairly large shop with DD, then 15, and my two preschoolers. Shopping included a bottle of wine. I was asked to show ID at the checkout, which I showed (laughably, I looked every day of my 42 years!). She then asked for ID from Dd1, who clearly didn't have any. I was then told that she couldn't sell me the wine, in case it was for DD - no amount of assurances would convince the checkout assistant that I wasn't sharing any of my wine with anyone, let alone DD who doesn't even like wine. I asked for the manager, but she just kept insisting it was "company policy" Confused

Interestingly, DD is now away at uni and buys booze from the Tesco express across the road from her flat with no issues at all. Likewise, I buy wine with my weekly shop with my two primary aged DC's unquestioned. I don't get the policy at all.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 10/12/2017 19:23

If you shop with what appears to be an underage person, they will need to produce ID. Even if you are paying etc...
Think 25. So not 18.
It isn’t difficult to keep ID - so let that be a lesson learned.
I have to check ID for work. I can easily be subject to a ‘fake😆’ transaction. If l didn’t ask for ID , l could quite easily lose my job.
Most teens over 18 carry it.

My 14 yr old DS towers over me and probably could pass for 16. Obviously he doesn't have ID. He also doesn't drink (he's autistic and rigid about rules). If a supermarket refused to sell he alcohol because I might give it to him then they would have a trolley full of shopping to deal with as that is a misinterpretation of the law and a guaranteed way of losing customers. Fortunately I look every year of my near 50 so don't get asked for ID - I never carry any as I refuse to carry my passport everywhere and that is the only photo ID I have. (Driving licence is old paper one).

AwfulSomething · 10/12/2017 19:27

I was asked for ID at the age of 35, having gone 3 days without sleep (work thing) and was just trying to load up on food and a decent bottle of wine. I laughed so hard then asked the bemused queue if I looked 25 or 18. I did politely ask the poor woman on the till who by this time looked like something was going to rupture quite how this policy would stop teens drinking and if she was concerned that they may try drugs if they couldn't source alcohol...but I was too tired and amused to hang around for her answer. Poor woman. Just trying to do her job. But I won't shop there again, pathetic policy.

BrizzleDrizzle · 10/12/2017 19:28

We've had the same thing in Waitrose because if they sell me alcohol that is for my daughter then they can be prosecuted. They can't tell if I am a genuine customer or somebody from trading standards checking up on them.

The fines for retailers are extortionate, 20 years ago it was several thousand pounds. I've not idea what it is now.

BarbaraofSevillle · 10/12/2017 19:29

So Tesco are basically saying that parents can't do a standard weekly shop if their teenage DCs are with them. People need to start shopping elsewhere.

omBreROSE · 10/12/2017 19:29

The staff are trained to look for more than just who is purchasing it.
Like a poster already mentioned. If a teen is looking too, helping to get it down. Maybe loading it on the belt. All things that will raise suspicion.
The easiest thing to do when shopping with teens is to make sure they have ID , if they are 18. ( if they are in that in between age) that they don’t check out with you/ or sit down on the chairs.
What happens a lot is parents liking to look cool with their teens - and also enjoying a bit of ‘banter’ with the vulnerable store worker.
If you do that, just stop - it isn’t very kind.