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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to know why Tesco won't sell me alcohol when I'm with my teenage daughter

373 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 10/12/2017 17:31

Given that it is perfectly legal for me to give her a glass of wine to drink at home (and has been since she was 5)? Was told in Tesco today that I couldn't buy wine as DD1 was with me. DD1 is 19 but had no ID on her, as we had just nipped out for a few bits. Cashier finally called a manager, who gave me the Spanish Inquisition, and finally said "OK, I trust that you aren't going to give any to your daughter." ConfusedHmm

It's not like I was buying WKD - I had a bottle of Champagne and one of an expensive Bordeaux!

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 10/12/2017 17:45

Presume there's more to this? Had your dd just been in on her own with no idea and was refused, and then returned with you?
If no back story, then that really odd.

HoneyIshrunkthebiscuit · 10/12/2017 17:48

they do it all the time. If you're buying alcohol everyone has to have ID though I assume if you had a toddler with you it'd be fine. It really is bizarre

AlphaVTango · 10/12/2017 17:49

I've had the same experience - I was 20 and my mum was buying wine. They wouldn't serve her as I didn't have ID with me. But at the next till was a woman with 2 small children also buying wine - I asked why she wasn't being refused and the reason was because it's obvious she won't give wine to small children Hmm

Skinandbones · 10/12/2017 17:49

Tesco are pushing this id business too far. When I smoked, I was in the food checkout and asked dd123 to get my cigs, to save time, they wouldn't serve her and she had no id, I huffed and took the money back and went to buy them, they then refused to serve me on the grounds that I was buying for my daughter. There meant to sell stuff FFS.

PotteringAlong · 10/12/2017 17:50

Really? How weird! And yes to honey about young children - mine are 6, 3 and 1 and they’ll let me buy alcohol!

demirose87 · 10/12/2017 17:51

I've had this a couple of years ago. I was in Asda with my sister. I was 28 at the time and buying a bottle of rum for my dad's birthday. The woman looked me up and down as she scanned it, gave me an awkward smile and said " it's not for her is it?" I said no its for my dad, why? Then realised she thought she was underage so I said "do you need to see her ID? Because she's 21" The woman was like "no no that's ok". Very strange.

MuseumOfCurry · 10/12/2017 17:51

I assume your daughter first tried to buy it, didn't have her ID, so you tried to buy instead, obviously on her behalf?

I don't particularly agree with it, but I can see how it would maintain the consistency of their position.

Fffion · 10/12/2017 17:51

I have never had this problem. I buy wine all the time with my teenager in tow.

outsidelookingin · 10/12/2017 17:52

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NewIdeasToday · 10/12/2017 17:55

I’ve had this as well. When quite clearly doing a family shop. And not buying it after my teenager was refused. It’s a completely bonkers rule. Enacted by jobs worths.

IHaveBrilloHair · 10/12/2017 17:56

It's insane, I've had this too, I was buying boring groceries which included beer for me and they were all weird because Dd, then 14, was with me.
We'd wandered round doing the shopping in a perfectly normal manner, there was no strange behaviour near the beer, there was no reason for them to think I was giving it to her.

Bunchofdaffodils · 10/12/2017 17:56

Exact same happened to my husband, shopping with (19yo) son and girlfriend. They had ice cream and bottle of coke, he followed with crisps and 2bottles of ale and checkout lady refused to serve him.

hodgeheg92 · 10/12/2017 17:59

I had this when I was younger with my mum. We just awkwardly laughed off the question of if it was for me. I was old enough to drink but had no ID on me. From then on I always waited by the entrance. Agree they should use common sense sometimes and the rules are all a bit odd!
,

Bluntness100 · 10/12/2017 17:59

I think some of rhem struggle to think independantly and apply common sense.

I was in a wine bar with my twenty year old daughter. Ordered two glasses of wine. The barmaid was younger than my daughter and had judged it accurately so didn’t id her.

A slightly older male member of staff wandered over and stage whispered loudly to the bar maid “you’ll have to id the younger one”. I responded loudly in return with “well she’s hardly going to id the older one is she”. We all then proceeded to give him this look Hmm.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 10/12/2017 18:02

Just asked ds who works in another supermarket. Their policy is if you are with a young person and you hear them saying they are going to buy it for them, then you can refuse service. If not-none of your business.

Shodan · 10/12/2017 18:03

I had this with ds1 who was 19 at the time, in Sainsbury's. Fortunately he had ID with him, but I did ask why he had to show it.

Didn't really get a satisfactory answer, only that 'we have to see it' in case I was buying it for him. Which I was, actually Grin

omBreROSE · 10/12/2017 18:05

If you shop with what appears to be an underage person, they will need to produce ID. Even if you are paying etc...
Think 25. So not 18.
It isn’t difficult to keep ID - so let that be a lesson learned.
I have to check ID for work. I can easily be subject to a ‘fake😆’ transaction. If l didn’t ask for ID , l could quite easily lose my job.
Most teens over 18 carry it.

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 10/12/2017 18:07

No back story at all - she hadn't been in on her own. beforehand. Woman on checkout said "We've been told we can't sell alcohol to anyone with a teenager with them."

It really is like the nanny state. Unfortunately we only have Tesco near us, otherwise I'd have left my shopping and gone elsewhere!

OP posts:
5foot5 · 10/12/2017 18:07

I have heard of this before and think it sounds completely and utterly bonkers. I assume the person on checkout has no choice as they have been told they MUST do this and they are not allowed to exercise their own common sense by the store.

I shop in Sainsbury usually and this has never happened to me there. DD is 22 now but even when she was a teenager we never had this problem when she was with us. I guess Sainsbury trust their staff to use their own judgment

VivaLeBeaver · 10/12/2017 18:09

It’s illegal to buy alcohol on behalf of someone under 18.

However if that occurs it’s the purchaser not the shop which is prosecuted afaik.

And like you say you can legally give an under 18 alcohol at home anyway.

Shops shouldn’t make their own rules up.

bluesu · 10/12/2017 18:09

DS is 13 and this hasn’t happened to me yet but if it ever did I would delight in leaving my whole trolly load of shopping on the belt and flounce off!

That’ll teach them!! (Well yer probably won’t but might make me feel a bit better although hugely inconvenienced)

Acadia · 10/12/2017 18:10

Ex shop worker.

If a shop is found to have sold alcohol to teenagers, they could lose their licence.

If the shop is found to have sold alcohol to an adult who was obviously about to give it to teenagers (shifty bloke holding a crumpled tenner while eager faces peer in from outside), we can still be held responsible and lose the licence.

If a parent is loading up a trolly with alcohol while a teenager selects it for their own friends, we can later be held liable.

Unfortunately people in our culture love giving hard liquor to kids, and therefore not only do they tell parents Please Don't For Fuck's Sake, they also try to enforce rules in shops that try to ensure children aren't given vodka by well-meaning middle class mums and dads who think it's best their 15 year old gets wine at home and not elsewhere (because it's magically less damaging at home.)

If you don't like it, shop alone.

VivaLeBeaver · 10/12/2017 18:11

Booths have the best ID policy going. Me at the age of 40 buying copious bottles of beer. Elderly (I’d say pushing 70) sales assistant looks at me and says “are you old enough to buy this” (I do still get ID’d quite a bit). I promised her I was old enough and that was that.

Acadia · 10/12/2017 18:12

"However if that occurs it’s the purchaser not the shop which is prosecuted afaik."

The shop could lose their licence if found to have "knowingly" sold alcohol that was to be given to a child.

The "knowingly" bit is when Mummy hands over the cash for a trollyload of vodka and red bull while eager teens rub their hands in glee. CCTV can and will be used to take the shop's licence away.

I dealt with a number of crappy cases, as we were situated in a wealthy middle class estate stuffed with alcoholics and parents who showed their love to their children with alcoholic gifts. "Cool" parents.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 10/12/2017 18:13

Legally I could give my 7 year old alcohol in the home, but not my 4 year old. The time I don't get IDed is when I do a week's shop with them. It is frustrating that there is an inconsistency between the law and policy on ID.

Although DH managed to buy his pint in the pub when I was refused service at 29. I shouted over, "you'll have to buy your own pint, I've not got ID" and they accepted his grey hair as sufficient evidence (he is noticeably older than me) Grin