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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your partners weekend mornings look like?

66 replies

sloeginwarrior · 10/12/2017 12:52

Because I'm not sure if I should be pissed off with mineor not...

DH can easily be asleep until 10.30/11am on weekends. Today he didn't wake up until nearly noon.

When he does wake up it takes absolutely ages. I have never known him to be awake and out of bed before me in three years. He did used to be better at sometimes getting up and making me a cuppa etc when he woke, but it hasn't happened in ages.

We have no DC, but do have a puppy and a cat. I'm at early riser in general, but it's me who always gets up to feed them and let puppy out for wee.

I'm starting to feel really down about always been alone for most of the morning. At the same time I appreciate it's his day off too and he's entitled to do what he wants with it.

I am annoyed at the lying in until noon today though. I've just been told that I'm "always moaning"

What do your partners do on their mornings off? Please tell me!

OP posts:
AnathemaPulsifer · 10/12/2017 12:54

When no kids around, sleeping half the day away is entirely valid. Why don't you make plans to meet a friend for brunch or something?

confusedlittleone · 10/12/2017 12:55

Our weekends were spent lying in bed till whenever we wanted often hungover pre kids

RoganJosh · 10/12/2017 12:56

We have kids so it’s different, but in your shoes I’d get up and go out if it’s annoying you. Or go for a run, read the papers, anything really.

BaldricksTrousers · 10/12/2017 12:56

This weekend is my weekend to work in the afternoons so I like to have a bit of a lie in. My husband takes our daughter to swimming at 8:30 on Saturdays (my treat for doing the school run all week!) He is always up before me to walk the dogs. I usually sleep till about 8 or 9. Although he works more than me he does these things on the weekend mostly without grumble. He knows that there are many other things I take care of during the week aside from working for a wage.

Fruitcocktail6 · 10/12/2017 12:57

He generally wakes up before me but lies in bed on his phone until I wake up. Then we cuddle for a while, have breakfast, then he goes out to golf usually.

On the odd occasion he's been out late he does sleep in late but it's not often.

missiondecision · 10/12/2017 12:58

Do something else.
Don’t manage your day (life) around him.
Be so grateful you don’t have children with him, he is showing how much use he would be!

BaldricksTrousers · 10/12/2017 12:58

Also if I was in your shoes with no kids I would enjoy my time alone and do something I liked to do. Or go out. Or go to the gym. Etc.

just5morepeas · 10/12/2017 12:58

Could you go out and do something enjoyable with your time rather than waiting for him? Meet up with a friend for coffee? Go for a walk or to gym? Go shopping?

I'd say you prob can't change someone who enjoys a lie in, but if he sees you having fun he might want to join in, and if not, at least you're not waiting around for him.

Babybrainx2 · 10/12/2017 12:58

We have a 3 yr old and 1 yr old so bit different. I'd be annoyed at the sleeping in until mid day every weekend though.

Maybe agree to be busy Saturday and lazy on Sunday?

gunsandbanjos · 10/12/2017 13:00

Unless you have plans to be somewhere then enjoy your peace and quiet.
I generally get up earlier than DH, I’ll make coffee and go back to bed on my iPad.
He tends to wake up around 8.30/9 and I’ll make him coffee.

Blackteadrinker77 · 10/12/2017 13:01

Is he right that you just moan?

I wouldn't want to get up either to someone who just moaned.

Can you arrange things to actually get up and do? Go to a match, or go skating, golf etc.

Original poster
sloeginwarrior · 10/12/2017 13:05

I did used to be able to lie in myself. Unfortunately I've had quite a lot of emotional trauma in the last 18 months that's made my sleeping patterns really bad. Not DH fault obviously.

I suppose the general consensus is to just put up with it. I guess I'll just have to take the dog out or something...

OP posts:
LapinR0se · 10/12/2017 13:05

My DH was exactly the same pre-kids. In the end I just got up and did something I fancied rather than wait around for him.
I was afraid he’d be totally useless when our DD arrived but he was brilliant and got up with her no problem and continues to do so now she’s 3. He’s not exactly bright and cheerful, it takes him a couple of coffees - but he’s up!

Original poster
sloeginwarrior · 10/12/2017 13:05

Oh and there's no way DH would get up and dressed on a Sunday morning to do activities. He likes his bed too much.

OP posts:
BaldricksTrousers · 10/12/2017 13:07

Op, are happy with DP other than this? Really, truly happy? Everything ok? Because this seems like one of those things that would only really bother someone if they were already sick of his shit.

topcat2014 · 10/12/2017 13:09

I can't relate to that at all, as I always get up by 9 - and have done since being young.

Seems a waste of life, tbh.

But I agree, you should go out, or do something, rather than watching the clock and waiting for an appearance.

WunWun · 10/12/2017 13:09

My DH has never been like this, thankfully. I hate wasting the weekend and wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who never wanted to do anything at the weekend.

Original poster
sloeginwarrior · 10/12/2017 13:12

I am happy in general. I'm just struggling a lot in general at the minute, so perhaps I'm latching into this?

I suppose it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things. I'll just do something else.

OP posts:
Original poster
sloeginwarrior · 10/12/2017 13:13

Latching onto even...

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 10/12/2017 13:16

In my house, also no kids, I call this golden hour and can watch greys anatomy and other female type shows in peace. It's nice!

Mxyzptlk · 10/12/2017 13:17

I suppose the general consensus is to just put up with it. I guess I'll just have to take the dog out or something...

The general consensus is to completely disregard it and do something you'd enjoy just as if he's not there on weekend mornings.
Yes, go out with the dog. You'll likely feel a bit better after doing that.
Plan ahead for what you'll do on other weekend mornings.
Plan together what you'll do in the afternoons.

Is it possible DH is feeling stressed about anything? Stress and/or depression can cause a need for sleep.

horsefacedhelen · 10/12/2017 13:21

My DH is out the house 8.30am Saturday for Parkrun and 8am Sunday for cycling club

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/12/2017 13:22

Ok,why do you need to have him up and about with you?make independent plans
Let dog out,on dog return, you go out. Have a coffe,shop,do your thing
You don’t need dp to accompany you?
If he wants to sleep late,doss about that’s up to him.

But you know what (if) when you have kids he’ll need to change and he’ll not be able to seep til noon

Therealjudgejudy · 10/12/2017 13:23

This is a total non issue. He likes to lie in, you don't. Just do something else with your free time. Gym, shopping, reading the Sunday papers with coffee. And id stop nagging him tbh.

mindutopia · 10/12/2017 13:23

Before we had kids, we relaxed and did what we wanted until about 10am unless we needed to be somewhere. If he wanted to sleep, he slept. If I wanted to get up, I got up and read or did things. I think as you don't have children, let him enjoy his days off if you don't have other plans. I would make the most of your time alone, read, go for a walk or exercise, sort yourself out for the week, etc. I'm naturally a morning person so I really used to enjoy those mornings to myself. You never get them back once you do have children (well, not for many years), so I'd leave him to it if you have nothing else going on.

Our weekends look very different than they used to. We're both up when our dd wakes (usually around 6-7am), though we might dose or read in bed, etc. while she watches some tv or plays early. Then we're both up and getting the day started by 9am after a rare 'lie in' (in quotes because we don't really go back to sleep). Now that we have children, no one gets to sleep more than the other unless they're ill or had a really rough night up with a sick child (sometimes we trade off so one of us can get up with her in the morning and the other does the nights).