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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what your partners weekend mornings look like?

66 replies

sloeginwarrior · 10/12/2017 12:52

Because I'm not sure if I should be pissed off with mineor not...

DH can easily be asleep until 10.30/11am on weekends. Today he didn't wake up until nearly noon.

When he does wake up it takes absolutely ages. I have never known him to be awake and out of bed before me in three years. He did used to be better at sometimes getting up and making me a cuppa etc when he woke, but it hasn't happened in ages.

We have no DC, but do have a puppy and a cat. I'm at early riser in general, but it's me who always gets up to feed them and let puppy out for wee.

I'm starting to feel really down about always been alone for most of the morning. At the same time I appreciate it's his day off too and he's entitled to do what he wants with it.

I am annoyed at the lying in until noon today though. I've just been told that I'm "always moaning"

What do your partners do on their mornings off? Please tell me!

OP posts:

IHaveACuntingPlan · 10/12/2017 14:33

I could happily sleep the weekend away. Dh gets up with the dc usually (unless he's done a night shift on the Saturday) at around 8-9am and I get up at 9-10.30. I take over the childcare in the afternoon when he puts his PS on for a few hours. It only really becomes a problem when one person is doing everything when the other is taking the whole weekend to themselves.

Gwenhwyfar · 10/12/2017 14:33

"I rest just as well in my clothes than slobbing in my nightwear all day."

Do you? I can't get comfy in my armchair in jeans and can't go back to bed for a bit. It's obviously more restful to stay in PJs than to get dressed straight away.

HandbagCrazy · 10/12/2017 14:37

No dc here either.

DH always used to get up before me so by the time I got up the dogs had been done and he was raring to get out of the house. Used to to drive me mad.

Now our working patterns (and me changing my sleep to try and prevent migraines) means that I’m up before him around 90% of weekends.
I appreciate the peace and quiet to be honest, especially as it's a relatively new thing for me. I usually do my share of chores while he’s sleeping (as long as it’s not the hoover), have a cup of tea and watch something that he doesn’t enjoy.

I wonder if you maybe need more support from your DH if you’ve gone through emotional trauma? Is spending time on your own hard? I ask because when I’m anxious and alone, I can’t get out of the circle of anxiety in my head and having someone else around distracts me. If it is that you need something from him for that reason, can you be specific and maybe meet in the middle with him?

EdithFinch · 10/12/2017 14:41

Gwenhwyfar
I honestly never understand people whose clothes are uncomfortable. I wouldn't bother wearing a suit today, so my casual clothes are pretty comfy.
I have no opinion about other people choices, just banning my own kids from keeping their pyjamas or wear a onesie all day!

Smeaton · 10/12/2017 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DownstairsMixUp · 10/12/2017 14:47

Sorry just saw it was weekends such an idiot we both just help each other tbh, everything should always be 50/50

TheViceOfReason · 10/12/2017 14:53

DH gets up when I do and comes out to help me with the horses. Come wind, rain, snow or sun. We then have breakfast and plan the rest of the day.

If we have no reason to get up, I'd not be fussed about him laying in - it's not his fault that I'm incapable of staying in bed once awake - or sleeping in!

If he ill, really tired, or I can sneak out without waking him I just leave him sleeping and sort the animals myself. He does the same on the very rare occasion I don't wake up. However we nearly always wake up at the same time!

KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 10/12/2017 14:57

Op - haven't you posted about this several times before and received very similar answers each time? Apologies if not you but it definitely rings a bell.

ShotsFired · 10/12/2017 14:59

I like to lie in bed and doze/listen to radio/stare at nothing for a while on weekends, OH is like a cartoon character who opens their eyes and then IS AWAKE.

We seem to have settled into him getting up and then going and watching his shit TV for a bit, while me and the cat snuggle up for a bit longer. When I get up (30-60mins later) he's watched enough drivel and is all excited to see me again! Then we get on with our day. (In return I watch my shit TV when I get home from work as I get home earlier than him. Then together/at night we watch the stuff we both enjoy.)

Can you find your equivalent of shit TV OP?

Nikephorus · 10/12/2017 15:02

Op, are happy with DP other than this? Really, truly happy? Everything ok? Because this seems like one of those things that would only really bother someone if they were already sick of his shit.
Is this looking for an opening to say 'LTB'?! OP hasn't asked 'AIBU to leave him because he stays in bed?'.....

timeisnotaline · 10/12/2017 15:05

I used to do this Saturdays whenever I could. I'd be making up for regularly not getting to bed till 2ush during the week with my work patterns in busy periods. I wish I could now, I love sleeping in! My dh is a morning person but he coped.

daisypond · 10/12/2017 15:21

My DH works both days every weekend and gets up at 4am before an hour-long cycle ride to work. We hardly ever have a whole day off together, unless we book leave.

SameWitches · 10/12/2017 15:22

What does he do if you have plans? If you don't have anything to do or plan anything you both want to do why is it a problem? Both being up and pottering seems like a waste if one of you doesn't want to potter. Obviously if you'd be catching up on telly/ cleaning/ going out to do something and you can't because you have to walk the dog for example he should be doing his fair share of getting up and doing that. But otherwise why hang out doing nothing if one of you has something they'd rather do (in his case sleeping in)?

isitmee · 10/12/2017 15:27

Sorry but you sound more co-dependant than in a relationship. I've learned a lot about this recently and recognise myself in your post. It's like your (our) whole life revolves around the partner and when they are not available we feel lost

Gwenhwyfar · 10/12/2017 15:32

"I honestly never understand people whose clothes are uncomfortable. I wouldn't bother wearing a suit today, so my casual clothes are pretty comfy."

Jeans are comfortable for going out shopping etc. but PJs are better for lounging around, which can include going back to bed for a bit.

Thebluedog · 10/12/2017 15:35

If we have the dc, my dp gets up and takes the youngest for a walk with the dogs (they are both early risers) whilst me and the eldest dc (late risers) have a lazy morning (sometimes we have a lie in, other times we get up and have a snooze in front of the telly). If the dc are with their dad my dp takes the dogs for a walk and leaves me in bed, then comes up with a cuppa for me when he gets back and gets back into bed for a cuddle

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