To just want to be called by my bloody name?

[lyonnaise]

For some reason, when my parents named me, the name I was always going to be known by is my middle name. (I’ve spent several years explaining I was always going to be that name -a few people seem convinced they called me my first name for 6 months then changed their minds!)

I am not madly keen on either of my names but my first name is a real dowdy, frumpy name and sounds absolutely horrible in our local accent. Plus, it’s not my name, as the Ting Tings said!

Now I am pregnant and obviously have a lot of appointments. I keep politely correcting people but they keep reverting back to my first name and they mostly pronounce my ‘real’ name wrong anyway.

I know it shouldn’t matter but I’m finding pregnancy so very hard anyway and this adds another level of feeling depersonalised somehow. Aibu?

Change your name by deed poll so you don't have the dull name in there anymore?
Or just don't put down your full name on forms and just put your middle name?

Not at all. I've always been intended to be called by my middle name and my first name is a real dowdy frumpy name (although now quite popular) and I hate it.

I formally changed my name with a change of name deed years ago which solved all the problems.

Legally in the UK you can use any name you want as long as you’re not doing so to commit fraud. You don’t actually need to pay a solicitor or do it by deed poll. Start by changing your name on your records at the GP and with the midwife. Good luck in your pregnancy.

Frumpy First name, called by middle name which can be mispronounced - are you me?

I think people will get it wrong sometimes and if it someone I will only see once (sonographer) I don't even correct them. I would expect my main midwife to make a note.

The problem with the deed poll is that it was ultimately pointless, because my original name still appeared on everything. And I had to keep explaining it when I applied for jobs. I wish I’d just kept it as it was to be honest, more hassle than it was worth.

My original name doesn't appear anywhere. You send copies to everyone who needs one and your name gets changed. If on the rare occasions my birth certificate is required then I also hand over my change of name deed.

I've not seen my original name for years. My children don't even know what it was

Perhaps we work in a different line of work?

I don't think it matters what line of work you are in. You can change your name without a deed but it makes it so much easier.

It's the same process as changing your name when you get married.

You cant expect a health professional to hear you say my middle name is the name I am.known by and to keep remembering that. How many people do they see?

If anything your anger should be vented at your parents for doing such a daft thing.

Deed poll it and get new documents where your first name is not listed anywhere.

With regards to your thread title. You are being called by what is legally your name.

Start using your preferred name as your "first name" whenever you're asked for it, and only ever put the dull name on a form if you're asked for your "full name".

I had a bit of a double take at my wedding - one of our witnesses was a long-term friend of both of us, but when she signed the register, both her first name and her surname were names we'd not heard before!

Jins - it does, because I had to apply for my job listing every other name I’d been known by then got whizzed as to why I’d changed it. And it hasn’t changed on my fucking medical notes either. I can’t be fucked changing it again. I have enough to do.

Merd OBVIOUSLY I do, I haven’t been calling myself the wrong name for years! It’s on my medical notes.

I’m similar, though I’m called neither by my first or middle names. I’m called by a ‘version’ of my middle name..constant explanations over the years, but I make it comedic.

I meet lots of elderly people, who are called something completely different to their formal names. I think it’s a conversation piece

At least you have a middle name to fall back on. I'mean just boring plain old Clare.
No middle name and no shortening. I've never forgive my parents for giving me such a bloody ghastly name with no other options

Problem is with medical notes is that its can be highly confusing if names are changed. You have an H and C number registered with your name then if say labs receive samples with different names it can lead to samples not being processed.

It’s strange isn’t it? I think sometimes people just can’t cope with anything slightly out of the ordinary.

Yep I've had to apply for jobs listing other names I've been known by. So I put birth name, deed poll name, married name and I've never had a problem.

Are you married and if not is your baby going to have your partners surname? Coz if not and the baby is, wait until they refuse to use your babies real name in hospital 😡.

“Is this Baby X?”
“No it’s baby Y.”
“Well he’s baby X until you register him.”
“Well I can’t until you let me out of here!”

That really upset me for some reason when I was stuck on hopsital for a week.

It's really not that unusual at all especially in the older generation.

I work with the elderly and about 25% of my clients (mostly aged 80+) are known by their middle name and not by their first name.

Most GP electronic systems have a 'preferred name' option so it is worth asking if they could make sure your middle name has been selected for this?

Ultimately though it's your parents fault if you want to blame someone!

"If anything your anger should be vented at your parents for doing such a daft thing."

I do agree with this. I realise that sometimes people want to honour a family member in the naming of their child (although I'm not fond of name-saking myself, I respect that other people are happy to comply) so they use a preferred middle name instead... but they must realise they are setting their kid up for a lifetime of being called the wrong name.

*baby’s not babies

Oh believe me, I really am pissed off with my parents for it.

I do believe I would have had a much happier life if they had chosen more standard names for me.

But they aren’t around now. So I can’t be pissed off at them.

I am married.

I am always known by the third of my three names! I have no problem using my first name ‘officially’ though it gets complicated as ddil has the same name. The middle of the three is surplus to requirements.

I don't think it's a case of people not coping with anything out of the ordinary...I think it's a case of forgetting or being busy and distracted.

I think that’s true in some cases, pitsch. I really meant people who gawp and say “Wut ... it’s ?” and I say “it’s ” and then they say the wrong one anyway.

Plus, someone always says, insincerely, “Oh, that’s a nice name. Where is it from?”

I know it’s just politeness but I don’t like it.