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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this about santa cams and elves on shelves

36 replies

Namechanger2735 · 09/12/2017 19:23

I can't stand them. I understand they're supposed to be a "bit of fun" but I think the santa cams just show an inability to discipline children. I wouldn't want to rely on "Father Christmas is watching" to encourage my child to behave. I'm watching, and it's me she should behave for. It's kind of like the whole "wait until your dad gets home" threat, I wouldn't want her to think of me as the messenger that isn't in charge.
As for the elves on the shelves, why?? Making mess that you'll just have to clear up yourself.. and teaching your children it's funny to squirt ketchup over the kitchen or unravel toilet rolls?
Write letters to santa, open your advent calendars, decorate the xmas tree. Why encourage or laugh at bad behaviour?

OP posts:
ClothEaredBint · 09/12/2017 19:24

because you can have fun without making a mess?

Rebeccaslicker · 09/12/2017 19:24

Why not live your life how you want to and let others do as they want to? Why is it bothering you?!

CancellyMcChequeface · 09/12/2017 19:25

YANBU and I completely agree with you. They also normalise the idea of surveillance for children in quite a disturbing way - I'm fond of this video on the topic of elves on shelves:

TheSameCoin · 09/12/2017 19:29

Our elf isn’t a spy for F.C. And I would never allow him to squirt ketchup over the kitchen (yuk). He does mildly mischievous things like climbing the Christmas tree or spelling out ‘Merry Christmas’ in Cheerios. My DCs love hunting for him each morning. Honestly, why do you care?

YellowMakesMeSmile · 09/12/2017 19:30

YANBU, using a fictional character to discipline a child is wrong. Like smacking, its poor parenting.

The elf thing is very hit and miss, some use it to do cute nice things and others use it to teach their children it's ok to misbehave.

KindergartenKop · 09/12/2017 19:30

I do hate elves on shelves but I can see that less lazy people than me might find it funny and worth doing.

wherethevioletsgrow · 09/12/2017 19:33

Love the Foucault video Cancelly!!!

piggybrownhare · 09/12/2017 19:34

I don’t understand why people get so upset about things that other people do. Live and let live and stop thinking so much about it.

Raisedbyguineapigs · 09/12/2017 19:35

I hate elf on the shelf because of the surveillance thing too and the spying on children. It affects others because if some parents do it you have to explain to your kids why the elves havent come to your house without dissing their friends or explaining that its not real, just a cynical and somewhat sinister marketing ploy.

WhooooAmI24601 · 09/12/2017 19:36

Someone bought our DCs an Elf on the Shelf a few years back. DH plays hide and seek with the DCs with the Elf and they have to search for him each morning. They love him and there's no mention of surveillance or "father christmas is watching".

It's possible to take part in those things without it becoming something dark and dreadful.

NerrSnerr · 09/12/2017 19:42

If you hate it then don’t do it. We have an elf but we just have him as a decoration this year but may do it in the future. Everyone likes and does different things.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 09/12/2017 19:46

It affects others because if some parents do it you have to explain to your kids why the elves havent come to your house

That’s true of loads of stuff though. Why can’t I go to Disneyland my friends just been - why can I have a big birthday party like my friend.

shatteredstudentmum · 09/12/2017 19:50

Never had a Santa cam type thing but our elf definitely doesn't do naughty things. He hides most nights and the dc race to find him each morning, and occasionally he might do something different. Last night he read to the star wars figures in the playroom and a few nights ago he played hangman with a power ranger.

I'm hoping at some point he'll help to put some Christmas decorations up over night!

HousefulOfBoysAndMe · 09/12/2017 19:51

Personally I'm not a fan either. It's one of the ways Christmas seems to have become 'too much' and a bit overwhelming to me tbh.

There's Elf on the Shelf, Santa Cams, Santa Trackers, Christmas Eve boxes. You don't just have a 5 minute visit with FC now, you have afternoon tea with him and his reindeer. There are expensive 'experiences' for all sorts around Xmas now...I just find it all a bit exhausting tbh.

Original poster
Namechanger2735 · 09/12/2017 19:54

Is it "Santa Claus 3" where Jack Frost becomes Father Christmas and turns the North Pole into a tourist destination, charging to be on the nice list and selling trinkets. We're getting there!

OP posts:
Originalfoogirl · 09/12/2017 20:01

I’m not a fan of either of them but I wouldn’t think it’s my place to make a judgement on any parent who wants to do it.

Juicyfruitloop · 09/12/2017 20:03

Personally I did not buy into the elf on the shelf, then DD8 arrived home from school, all her pals elf had arrived and hers didn't, as it may well be her last year believing I got one.

So far it's fun, he does not report to Santa just moves about the house.

Council · 09/12/2017 20:05

I don't like the idea of Elf for children and I agree about using them to "encourage" good behavior. No child in history has believed that FC won't come because they were naughty and no parent has ever followed it though, so it doesn't work. There's also no way I could have ever kept it up for a month!

However, I am enjoying some of the Elf antics my friends are posting and some of them don't even have kids!

I apparently know some very imaginative people.

NeverTwerkNaked · 09/12/2017 20:08

Yanbu. I find the whole “Santa cam” /surveillance thing horrifying. What a pressure to put on chikdren. Let them be human, no one would like to feel they were being watched all the time. You wouldn’t do this to an adult so why is it ok to do to kids

The elf thing though, most people I know just have it as an elf that does tricks? My son has one at his dads and that is the focus, what has the elf done that night. So I think lots of people play down/cut out the surveillance story

LaurieMarlow · 09/12/2017 20:09

Our elf plays no role in surveillance. He does things like bake cookies and catch fish in the sink. DS loves waking up in the morning to see what he's been up to.

He's s brilliant addition to our Christmas.

You do what you want.

ClothEaredBint · 09/12/2017 20:12

the thing about the 'santa cam' isn't new though. Parents have used Santa to threaten kids with for years and years.

Where do you think the song 'santa clause is coming to town' came from?

I'm nearly 40 and my parents used to tell me that Santa kept a book and for every day I was naughty, I got a red cross, and if there were too many red crosses in his book, i'd be on his naughty list and get no presents.

Elf on the Shelf is supposed to be fun.

Raisedbyguineapigs · 09/12/2017 20:38

Yes but with Disneyland etc you can be honest and say you haven't got the money or something but with the elves and with Santa, its meant to be magic, so practical considerations don't come into it. OTOH I did say I asked the elves not to come to our house if they were too busy and they seem to be fine with it.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 09/12/2017 20:53

Yes but with Disneyland etc you can be honest and say you haven't got the money or something

Ok the Disneyland thing takes money but seriously there loads of shit kids want to do that takes effort not money.

My friends parents

  • take to the park every weekend
  • bake with me
  • let me paint at home (hell no)
  • help me plant seeds in the garden
  • let me stay up late
  • let me watch X on tv
  • celebrate Xmas / Easter
  • take me to Brownies / Cubs

If you can’t be arsed doing the elf thing fine. But it’s a bit much to expect others not to have fun with an elf because it puts presure on you.

LaurieMarlow · 09/12/2017 21:02

If you can’t be arsed doing the elf thing fine. But it’s a bit much to expect others not to have fun with an elf because it puts presure on you

This. It's ridiculous to try to dictate to others.

Melony6 · 09/12/2017 21:12

Hah, yes, I think DCs these days must heave a huge sigh of relief when they find that Santa doesn't exist - all the stress of being watched all the time over and done with!

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