to still be smiling at this ages after I heard it?

[Baileyscheesecake]

A trailer for the tv comedy Gameface had the line which went something like "Don't pick up the cat. He's just eaten a kebab." This was on tv weeks ago and I still break into a smile when I think of it. AIBU to ask this or just slightly doolally but what other one liners from comedy programmes do people still find funny no matter how many times they hear it or how long ago it was last on tv? Another one that springs to my crazy mind is Basil Fawlty saying "Is this a piece of your brain" to the annoying woman who wouldn't turn her hearing aid on because it used up the batteries.

[BelligerentGardenPixies]

Red Dwarf - "They're all dead Dave" skit.

[soupforbrains]

Love this thread.

There's a line from an episode of Coupling (remember that anyone??!) and it often pops into my head and makes me laugh every time. You'll have to imagine they welsh accent but he says "I've got the key to heaven, but I've got too many legs!"

Also "Don't tell him Pike!" Always a good one.

[Bearsinmotion]

Bob from Blackadder. How can one word be so funny?!

[redbuttons]

Can't remember which comedy series it was from, but it was years ago. A man walks into the house carrying an inebriated woman saying, "who threw this perfectly good woman away"

[strawberrisc]

"Devoted sister, beloved cunt"? - Curb your Enthusiasm.

[RoseCuntedGlasses]

Oh man there are so many more that I've thought of. There are a couple of Frasier ones that I love - 'if less is more, imagine how much more more could be!' And this one, which I had to google to get right:

Frasier's on air talking to a caller, who has some mundane problem, can't remember exactly what:

Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem.

[Notevilstepmother]

Father Ted here. Anything and everything can be solved with “that would be an ecumenical matter” or a cup of tea. “Go on go on go on”

[OneOfTheGrundys]

“Dave. Your toilet is blocked.”
“It’s not.”
“It is now Dave.”

Has entered into family parlance. Generally during quiet moments someone will pipe up with it.

[FolderReformedScruncher]

Porridge. Mr. Heslop being given a job in the library and defending that decision by saying, "I read a book once. Green it was".

We quite often say "green it was" when appropriate as tribute.

[soupforbrains]

redbuttons I remember that but can't place it either.....

[UtahGirl12]

From The Inbetweeners..."Ooh, friend. Football friend".

This is repeated nearly everyday in our house, with the football bit replaced by anything necessary..."Oooh friend. Yoga friend!" " Friend, Shopping friend". Etc etc etc....complete with thumbs up of course!

[Takeoutyourhen]

I'm having a good laugh reading these :)

Blackadder: I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese

[Theducksarenotmyfriends]

I love The Thick of it! One of my favourite insults from it is: "a face like Dot Cotton licking piss off a nettle".

Also love the inspiration behind my user name taken from Chris Morris's short film My Wrongs:

"The ducks are not my friends. They tell everyone I thought a dog could talk."

[SevenOf1981]

As @shutupbaz mentioned upthread. The scene in blackadder ii where he's teaching Baldrick to count.

Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this.

We use it a lot when one of us is being a bit stupid!

[affectionincoldclimate]

I love this thread so much I'm back for and with more.

League of Gentlemen mentioned by PPs just brought my these gems out of my mental archive.

Tubbs screeching out of the blue to the visiting policeman asking about "the boy"

"We didn't burn him!!"

"This is a local shop for local people" - using it all the time any time words local or local shop are used.

The bit where Ross turns tables on Pauline and starts asking her association game questions

Ross: Friends?
Pauline: pens!

Basically me and another mate at work fall about laughing at this when pens are mentioned. Very childish. Very satisfying

[hollygolipo]

Frasier: "what's the French word for lighthearted?"
Niles: "There isn't one"

[MrsTerryPratchett]

So many from Father Ted. Particularly "small... far away". I'm sniggering just thinking about it.

Careful now... down with this sort of thing.

[Bumdishcloths]

"Your name shall also go on ze list - what is it?"

"Don't tell him, Pike!"

[VladmirsPoutine]

The thick of it when Malcolm describes Julius Nicholson:

"Julius Nicholson... business guru, blue sky thinker.... DOG RAPIST!"

[thegrinchreaper]

Judith and Peter Surname on Come Fly with Me. Just seeing their name at the bottom of the sketch makes me laugh my head off.
And the 'has he been?' and 'oh. You didn't' in the Bottom Christmas special aswell!

[affectionincoldclimate]

@VladmirsPoutine absolutely that one too. Laughing out loud right now

[Greatbigspud]

@thegrinchreaper - you mentioning Come Fly With Me reminded me of the pub landlord who was trying his best to turn it into a friendly local - still laugh about the pub quiz which ends with him sprinting after some punters shouting questions at them as they run for their flight 😂

[BobbinThreadbare123]

Red Dwarf - Marooned

They're stranded and there's a bag of half eaten soggy crisps, some Bonjela, a Pot Noodle, and a tin of dog food. Lister says: "Well we know what gets eaten last... Can't stand pot noodles."

The dog milk asteroid.

[WhirlwindHugs]

Mighty Boosh "Why you no like my pie?" "is it a trick pie?" "I cut into it with my tiny pie slice and birds appeared hitting me in the eye and temples" trotted out very regularly!

Yogalates

There's a scene in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead where Kenny and Suelle have a row about whether the housework or going to work is harder. Suelle turns to Kenny and softens up a bit "I never asked you to whist the couch."
"Well it needed it." from a stoner with puppy dog eyes. Really bloody tickles me for some reason!