Hoping for some general advice or words of experience here.
When my DD was 18 months old we were at a family gathering with my DH family. Two of his nieces (5/7) took my DD to play upstairs in a bedroom - fine. After about 10 minuets I popped upstairs to use the toilet, when I came out I could here some comments from 5 DN saying she's ruining the game, not playing in right I don't want to pay with her etc. I sat on the top step listening where I couldn't been seen, for only maybe a minute. Then they opened the bedroom door got my daughter to leave, couldn't see so don't know how and then shut her out of the room. This was at the top of a staircase which I considered quite dangerous as at that age they aren't the most stable on stairs alone, and she easily could have fallen. I picked her up and took her downstairs and played with her. I understand if they don't want to play with a child so much younger, however they insisted they wanted to take her upstairs to play. Anyway after that I haven't left my DD alone with them, which is exhausting at gatherings but that's not the issue.
So flash forward to my DD third birthday. We had a family party, as trying to save money before the official ones start. My MIL takes my daughter upstairs to play, totally fine no worries about this, then about 30 minutes later she comes back downstairs. So naturally I ask where my DD is, and ages upstairs with the same two nieces. So I go to check everything is ok, as I get to my stairs I hear my daughter crying saying stop it stop it, when I get in the room the elder niece on pinning her to the bed, but stops sharpishly when she hears me. I ask DD is she's ok and she says DN1 pushes me. So I have a little word and then leave. Unknown to them I go to my room and turn the monitor on, I have a video one, so I can see and hear what's happening. They start by ignoring her, gently shoving her, my DD seems to think it's a game at this point - she's only 3 so doesn't hear the meanness in their voices.
Then DN2 tells DN1 to get my DD rocking horse and put it on DD bed, literally an inch of the edge. They then pick my DD up to put her on the horse. At that point I go in tell them not to do that, it's not safe and remove my DD from their arms and put the horse on the floor and leave again. Then they start to moan saying they're going downstairs and lets just leave her here. When my DD tries to fallow them downstairs DN2 pushes her so hard my DD falls, she's pretty sturdy so this was some shove. My DD cried and my niece, who witnessed this got to my DD first and picked her up and took her away.
I have discussed with DH and he doesn't want to raise with his sisters - one niece from each sister, they're cousins not sisters. Which is fine, it's his family and he has agreed to be moe vigilant and jot leave DD alone with them again.
I just want to know why they are doing this, I can't seem to find any reason for why they do this at any opportunity they are alone. Can anyone shed any light that might make me understand this?
I am starting to feel really anxious about the Christmas family get together now, to the point that I'm having nightmares.