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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do we split this cost?

87 replies

roshi42 · 06/12/2017 14:26

So my mother wants a fairly expensive present for Christmas and we're splitting it among the siblings. There's me, my two sisters and each of their partners. Some discussion about whether we split the cost 5 ways or 3. Or somewhere in the middle! I kind of think the guys should pay less as she's not actually their mother, but splitting it 3 ways feels like I'm paying double because I'm single? All names will just be on the tag equally, of course. Your thoughts? It's not a huge deal or anything, just wondered what everyone thought was most reasonable!

OP posts:
Aspieparent · 06/12/2017 14:28

I would say 3 ways as there's 3 siblings I wouldn't really class partners if am honest.

Hoppinggreen · 06/12/2017 14:31

3 ways, one for each child.
Partners are irrelevant here

angelopal · 06/12/2017 14:31

3 ways. Would never even have thought of 5 ways.

CheeriosEverywhere · 06/12/2017 14:32

Yep, 3. Partners can get a separate small present for their MIL if they choose.

roshi42 · 06/12/2017 14:33

I should clarify, the gift is from the partners as well - all 5 names will be on the tag.

OP posts:
KTDaly · 06/12/2017 14:33

You need to accept either you pay more or your sisters partners pay...
Alternatively you could split the item four ways and then the two partners split this amount?

PaintingByNumbers · 06/12/2017 14:33

Definitely 3 ways, easy q

RockinRobinTweets · 06/12/2017 14:34

Still 3 ways IMO

PaintingByNumbers · 06/12/2017 14:34

It isnt really from the partners is it though its not like they usually buy a present each.

squeaver · 06/12/2017 14:35

Three ways.

Would the partners normally buy her an individual present?

Or, if buying as a couple, would it be double what they would spend as an indvidual?

BritInUS1 · 06/12/2017 14:35

3 ways unless the partners normally buy your mother a present from them personally

TinoTheArtisticMouse · 06/12/2017 14:36

3 ways of course
If one of the couple's had a child, would you expect them to pay a share too, to get their name on the tag?

BlueFleece · 06/12/2017 14:36

Three ways - whether the partners contribute to 'their' third is up to how they manage their finances. All names would go on regardless.

Ecureuil · 06/12/2017 14:36

3 ways

notacooldad · 06/12/2017 14:38

3 ways.

NotAPuffin · 06/12/2017 14:38

3 ways. Would you split an inheritance 5 ways or 3?

Trinity66 · 06/12/2017 14:38

I would say 3 as well

stormstar · 06/12/2017 14:38

3 ways. We often do similar for my parents and we only split the cost among the children (4 in our case). But we do adjust the split if finances are tighter for one of us - but that's based on income not whether they are in a couple (e.g. DSis has a DH but both are on low income so they pay less, DB is single but he pays the same as he has a good job).

sunshineintheclouds · 06/12/2017 14:39

3 ways

BeetrootTart · 06/12/2017 14:40

Definitely 3 ways.

NannyR · 06/12/2017 14:44

3 ways - me and my sister spend a similar amount on my parents Christmas presents even though she is in a couple and I'm single, they don't spend double as they also have his parents to buy for.

TwoBlueFish · 06/12/2017 14:44

3 ways, however allowances should be made if someone has significantly less money than the others.

My siblings & I bought my mum a tablet & case, youngest brother has very little money so he paid for the case and we split the rest of the cost 3 ways. All names were on the tags for everything.

MikeUniformMike · 06/12/2017 14:46

3 ways.

BTW. If your sibling has 3 kids and you have 1, them giving your dc 1 present (of value £x) and you giving 1 present (of the same value)between 3 kids doesn't work. Someone I know used to do this and her SIL complained. Friend took umbrage and no longer speaks to her brother and SIL.

Bluntness100 · 06/12/2017 14:48

I also agree three ways. And you already clarified all names on the tag Grin

If you can’t afford it just say to them. But the fact you’re single isn’t really relevant here, the partners don’t buy your mum a seperate gift just from them.

Aki99 · 06/12/2017 14:50

3 ways. In our family children buy for their parents but its from the couple