To feel frustrated by my DH's 'man flu'

[Lizzie48]

Do you find that when men have a cold they act as if they're really ill and can't do anything?? Whenever my DH has a cold, if he's off work, he really thinks he can't do anything in the house at all.

Last time, I asked him if he could mind the 2 DDs (8 and 5) for a grand total of 10 minutes while I nipped quickly to Tesco to buy a couple of things, so I didn't have to take them both in the car with me unnecessarily. He said, 'I'm not up to minding both of them.'

I took them with me therefore, whilst seething to myself. All he had to do was switch the TV on for them, how hard work is that?? The number of times I've felt like that and he's left them with me to go to work!

I'm sure a lot of you have similar experiences, where your man has claimed not to be up to do with something because of his cold???

I would have said to him exactly what you wrote above.

Plus a few other choice words...

Why are you putting up with it?

He doesn't have a cold all that often, thankfully. It's just that when he has one he behaves like a child. In fact, he didn't remember he'd said that when I spoke to him about it afterwards and agreed that he'd been selfish. We'll see what happens next time.

The mistake you made is asking.
"DH I am going to Tesco, I'll be back in ten mins, the kids are watching hey duggee, I.l bring you some more man flu pills and some oj. See ya.

And leave.

One of the best things I've ever learnt to do is to stop asking DH to mind his children.
He never asks me, so I asked myself why I ask him.

Now I say "I'm nipping to Tesco, will be back in 10."

Yes all of them. Every single man is like this and you definitely aren't being sexist by suggesting otherwise.

He is EA and gaslighting you. What are you going to do about that? Do you want to bring your children up in this environment?

So annoying. I agree, don’t ask next time. My dh gets sympathy illness on the rare occasion I’m ill and has to lie down. Let’s say it’s rather wearing.

X post

Hardly

Jesus christ. Men behave like this because they are allowed to.

Why are you asking him if he can mind his own children for 10 minutes?

"Right DH, i'm nipping to Tesco, keep an eye on x and y".

If he complains ask him if he is fucking kidding and who does he think watches the kids if you are ill.

No he's not emotionally abusive, just very annoying when he has a cold, thinks it's a massive issue. I agree that I shouldn't have asked him, I should have just said, 'I'm off to do a spot of shopping, I'll be back soon.'

But I did need to get it done quickly and I couldn't be bothered to argue about it.

Just cos you put up with shite from your husband don’t tar all men with the same brush. Unbelievably ignorant

Why ask if he can mind them? In my house it’s “Dh I am off out be back in 10, watch the dc”

My dh is very rarely ill but he did have a bad virus for about 10 days last month and he was still capable of watching our dc.

However I don’t think this makes your dh emotionally abusive so I’ve no idea why the pp says that!