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AIBU?

To not be enjoying my cats?

158 replies

msalex · 06/12/2017 11:41

I’m not going to rehome them. And I do love them in a way.

But I realised this morning I get no pleasure out of them at all and to be honest I wish I’d never got them.

They demand food as soon as I get up but it’s somehow not enough. After I’ve had a shower and am trying to get ready they are mewing round my feet wanting a second breakfast Hmm

One of them miaows so loudly - a real yowl of a sound and he does it at 2/3 am for me to put him out (can’t put a cat flap in - it’s a bottom floor apartment in a listed building) and it really disturbs my sleep terribly.

The eating, they just never stop. Even when their food bowls are full every time I stand up they thunder through to the kitchen and stand over their bowls miaowing.

I feel horrible as I feel irritated by them.

OP posts:
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chiaseeddisapointmentagain · 06/12/2017 18:23

Horrible animals, YANBU

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Howsthings1234 · 06/12/2017 19:13

I think the wet food could be the problem. When my cat has the wet pouches he is a pain - desperate for it, noisy and pushy and never satisfied. The minute he's eaten it he wants more.

I only feed dry food now (I buy the science plan brand so it's a complete meal) and he never begs for it, doesn't guzzle and just grazes as and when he needs it. Made such a difference. Just have to make sure you put lots of water down.

I then give treats when it suits of fresh meat or fish etc

I 100% recommend you try that as I think they get obsessive about the wet food to be fair and it makes them more greedy for it.

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TammySwansonTwo · 06/12/2017 19:20

I used to love my cats to bits. Now they do nothing but demand food and hiss at each other (they turned nasty to each other when we moved house). Occasionally one will piss on the doormat. Other than that I don't really see them.

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Xihha · 06/12/2017 19:37

odd as it sounds, have you tried answering them? I have a yowler, we have little conversations then he shuts up

mine did both beg for food every time i went near their bowl, but they were starved before we rescued them so I think they just get a bit carried away about food, we have a routine now that they are fed as soon as I get up and again after DD goes to bed and they have stopped begging, unless the routine has to be different one day, where we go back to begging every 5 minutes for a few days til they forget they are cross with me.

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BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 06/12/2017 19:38

Honestly, I don't enjoy my cats very much. They're not really an animal that gives a lot back (I think people who think their cats love them are deluding themselves - they want to sit on you because you're comfy and warm).

Cats give so much back. But if you're that needy - you should try a dog.

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Spangles1963 · 06/12/2017 19:41

They have up to 6 pouches a day each?! Or between them? Sorry to nitpick OP but if this is each,it is an awful lot. My own cat has 2 (100gram) pouches a day usually,occasionally 3,plus a handful of dry food. Admittedly she is mainly an indoor cat (especially in the cold weather) so is not extremely active,but the vet says she is the perfect weight,not under or overweight. She does try it on though,with regard to food. I'll feed her at 7am when I get up to visit the toilet,then when I get up 9am,she starts pestering for more! I just tell her a firm 'no more',make sure her dry food is topped up and leave her to it. Cats will wind you around their paw given half a chance,so their servants owners have to develop a degree of 'heartlessness' otherwise they would be forever dishing out food,and their cats would end up obese!

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ForalltheSaints · 06/12/2017 19:58

I'm saddened to read of the bad experiences the OP and others have with their cats, even though some are understandable.

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MattBerrysHair · 06/12/2017 19:59

It sounds like your cats are 'affection' eating. Some cats like to be stroked when eating, it's a bonding thing.

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AlexaAmbidextra · 06/12/2017 20:05

I'm horrified at those on this thread that throw their cats out at night. Try throwing yourself out and see how you like it. Angry

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MattBerrysHair · 06/12/2017 20:06

Honestly, I don't enjoy my cats very much. They're not really an animal that gives a lot back (I think people who think their cats love them are deluding themselves - they want to sit on you because you're comfy and warm).

I have to disagree wholeheartedly with this. I've always had cats and they have all loved their humans. My current one follows me around because she likes my company, not just because she wants food or a comfy pace to sit.

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Jeannie78 · 06/12/2017 20:06

OP, I feel your pain. I have a cat exactly like this. She always has dried food in her bowl, but despite this, every time I go into the kitchen, she leaps up and starts miaowing at me. As soon as I get in from work, she literally trips me up, miaowing and winding around my legs which is particularly awkward when I'm carrying shopping. She doesn't do it to anyone else - actually she runs away from the rest of the family - it's just me she targets.

She's a rescue cat too. We got her when she was eight years old and she's thirteen now. It's always been the same. Very draining.

I don't have any answers for you either, except to hope that you feel a bit of comfort from knowing that someone else is going through it too!

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AmberNectarine · 06/12/2017 20:12

My cat eats that on his own. And he's always talking to me - isn't that what they do? If I don't feed him before starting my own breakfast, he bites me. I am besotted with him.

All sounds like pretty normal cat stuff. Are you maybe not a cat person?

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zippydoodaar · 06/12/2017 20:17

Pouches are style over substance IMO.

We feed our cat Hills Science Plan biscuits and one pouch a day. They are better quality biscuits than the ones you buy in the supermarket with much more protein (which makes you hungry if you don't get enough).

Worth a try?

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BackBoiler · 06/12/2017 20:32

My cat is the easiest creature ever. I feed her, let her out and the rest of the time she grooms herself or sleeps. I like her alot....it's a pity she doesnt like me much!

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gingertigercat · 06/12/2017 20:43

I agree with the eagles post. Our boy is now pretty good and sleeps when we sleep and wakes when we wake whereas he used to be terrible at waking in the night and yowling.

I Do find that most of his crying now is just because he wants a snuggle though, if you're feeling a bit down a good cuddle with your cats is excellent for bringing a smile to your face!

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AtLeastThreeDrinks · 06/12/2017 20:49

Sorry you’re feeling this way. I haven’t had a chance to read all the posts but if you can’t have a cat flap, is a cat ladder an option? They’re big in Europe for people living in apartments and my friend has actually installed one in her shared building in London.

An automatic feeder is a great idea. Also getting those toys that you can hide treats in to keep them occupied. If they’re waking you at night try hiding a few treats or catnip around the living room (or just away from where you’re sleeping!) to keep them busy. And if you’re feeling up to it, those laser toys are wonderful at wearing them out. If not, you can get automated toys to keep them busy. Hope you start enjoying them again soon Smile

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AtLeastThreeDrinks · 06/12/2017 20:50

Oh also, cats become more vocal to communicate with us! Try to not respond and see if that reduces the meowing.

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Zadig · 06/12/2017 20:52

Cats are amazing creatures and you are lucky to have them. Some cats are more vocal than others and some crave human attention, just for the sake of it. Do you talk back to them or sing? Sometimes they just want attention and a "conversation".

Also, don't buy the same brand of food all the time as they get bored. When they have full dishes and are still miaowing - they are asking for a different flavour or telling you "not that again!" They don't like food if it's been left out because it smells off and their sense of smell is 100 times more sensitive than ours.

So buy lots of different foods and try talking back and enjoying your lovely cats! My cats and I have many mutual songs which they love. They try and mimic human conversations patterns and we love to chat.

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SabineUndine · 06/12/2017 20:57

I have a bit of this with mine, because he learned bad habits in a previous home. I make a point of feeding him at exactly the same times every day and he is learning slowly that there’s no point in nagging me before then.

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Badhairday1001 · 06/12/2017 21:01

My cat really annoys me at this time of year. He's no trouble at all in summer because he's always out or sleeping in the sun. He gets really moody in the winter and pesters non stop, it's because he wants to go out but won't because the weather is bad. I feel like he takes his bad mood about the weather out on me! I shut him in the kitchen when he's being a pain and he just settles down then most of the time. I have to chuck him out of the house for a few hours and warn the kids not to open the door for him when he's really taking the piss.

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QuimReaper · 07/12/2017 14:16

I really don't understand why people are so against re-homing

Because there are thousands and thousands and thousands of homeless cats in shelters, and the chances of their actually being successfully rehomed are extremely small. Nobody's "against" it in an ideal world where you can guarantee a safe and loving new owner.

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ethelfleda · 07/12/2017 14:19

I adore my cat but she is so fussy. I have a 5 week old baby and the cat is constantly trying to get on my lap and it's just too much when your feeding a baby... or even when I had ten minutes without holding the baby and I just want to be left alone!!
I feel so guilty as I was constantly fussing her before my son came along Sad
Luckily DH still gives her loads of fuss so she certainly isn't neglected!

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Davros · 07/12/2017 20:15

My cat hates me being on the phone and always comes and mews so loudly that the other person can hear her Blush she is a Bengal so is particularly loud and persistent

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Hazza000 · 07/12/2017 20:34

Maybe revoke your most recent addition to regain equilibrium? Cats can be very demanding in a passive-aggressive way perhaps one less might help you enjoy it more. Just a thought.

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MycatsaPirate · 07/12/2017 20:34

I hear you! We have five cats and a foster cat. All rescues. Two of them (the foster and the black cat) were out on the streets and very thing when we took them in. They are both food obsessed and the black cat has been with us since August, put on over a kilo in weight but still wants food every time I head near the kitchen. I just tell him very firmly that it's not dinner time for cats yet and then ignore his cries. He literally mithers me from 1.30pm until 5pm when they all get their dinner.

The foster cat follows me about the house all day, she lies on the stairs in front of me while I'm trying to walk down, she sits in doorways and is generally a major PITA but oh, so cute!!

Things we have got to make sure they aren't bored in the winter (when they all refuse to go out as it's cold) are a huge cat tree which they all use either alone or in pairs (it has hidey houses, toys, scratch posts and platforms and overlooks the windows), scratch boards on the floors which we sprinkle dried cat nip on. They have a scratch board with a built in toy too (balls with bells inside with holes to poke their paws through to get nudge them about). They have a water fountain, two biscuit dispensers and are fed wet food twice a day.

I tend to just give black cat a good head rub when he comes into the kitchen now. He is fine, he isn't starving. But yes, it can be annoying to be constantly hassled for food when they don't need it. He may just want some fuss.

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